


I Want You to be Safe

by DanPhil



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Arguing, Boyfriends, Break Up, Breaking Up & Making Up, Coming Untouched, Crimes & Criminals, Crying, Death Threats, Dom Phil Lester, Dom/sub Undertones, Eventual Smut, Exams, Falling In Love, First Dates, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Happy Ending, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Kissing, Light Dom/sub, Loss of Virginity, Love, M/M, Making Up, Minor Injuries, Neither of them are actually criminals, Rough Kissing, Sex, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Sobbing, Sub Dan Howell, Threats of Violence, University, wow these tags have gone down hill very fast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-05-26 21:26:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 47,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15009788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DanPhil/pseuds/DanPhil
Summary: Both Dan and Phil are going to university as mature students in this alternate universe, but their student-life certainly won't be simple. Dan has many dark secrets he must keep from Phil; including the fact he is being threatened by criminals. Can Dan and Phil have a working relationship? And can Phil save Dan?





	1. Enjoy your pizza.

I sigh contentedly as I turn into my drive, unable to resist a small smile as I turn the engine off. I’ve had a busy day, so the idea of finally putting my feet up and ordering some pizza is very appealing to me. I check my brown, fluffy fringe in the mirror, brushing my fingers through the curls to neaten them before locking the car up and heading to my front door. The silent, empty house is soon filled with my footsteps; I hop over one of the boxes blocking my way and rush through to the kitchen, grabbing the house phone and pressing it to my ear so I can order some food. I stare at my packed-up belongings as I listen to the dial tone, feeling the nerves pang in my stomach once again when I recall how I’ll be moving out tomorrow, to university, and staying in student halls.

  
Though exciting, it will surely be a challenge being a mature student at university – a twenty-four-year-old, who after multiple existential crises decided he wasn’t happy with my life as it was. I didn’t go to university after leaving school, like my friends did. I went straight into an administration apprenticeship, which I almost immediately came to regret. Some people may be content working with spreadsheets and numbers all day, but it soon became clear to me that I need to spend my time doing something I’m more passionate about. An office job, doing the same thing every day, over and over, just wasn’t for me. So, somehow, paying an extortionate amount of money to the government for them to educate me in music, somehow seemed the right decision for me this year.

  
The friendly voice down the phone jolts me out of my thoughts, and I say my standard order, stomach growling as I go to the lounge to switch the television on. However, my hand freezes over the switch at the sound of a car swerving up the drive – too fast to be anyone but who I know it is. “Shit”, I mutter under my breath, watching the silver car doors swing open aggressively as I rush to the front door, smart enough to know I shouldn’t keep these people waiting. Not for a second. My fingers are already trembling as I tug the door handle down holding the door open and letting Mason, Jake, and their boss, – and, technically, my boss – Mr. Wexley. They all wear expensive suits and sunglasses, all three of them sporting a short ponytail, only differing in colour; Make and Jason are both brunette, like me – though it pains me to compare myself to them in any way – and Mr. Wexley has shiny, jet black hair, greying at the roots. It’s a shock to my system seeing them in my house again, I thought I’d gotten them out of my life.

  
“Howell”, Mr. Wexley barks, rude and authoritative as always, “take a seat. We need a chat”. I nod and take note of the clenched fists of Mason and Jake, ready to hurt me on Mr. Wexley’s orders. “Yes, Sir”, I say, obediently rushing through to the lounge and sitting on my sofa, hands clasped over my knees nervously. “Word has it you’re off to university”, Mr Wexley speaks loudly, arms folded whilst he seats himself on the sofa opposite me, comfortably lounging as if he owns the place. He gets straight to the point, “didn’t you think that was something I’d be interested in knowing?”  
I silently curse myself and shuffle nervously in my seat – I’ve put myself in a very dangerous position. Of course they’d find out I’m moving away. They track people’s moves for a living; I should know this better than anyone. “I’m really sorry”, I say immediately, “it was just a very sudden decision, I -“

  
“Enough, Howell”, Mr. Wexley barks, interrupting me, and I clamp my mouth shut, staring up at him when he stands up, my eyes wide and terrified. “You’ll be forgiven. As long as you behave and do as your told. You know what I’ll do if you cross the line”. I nod quickly at this, and he continues, “now, we need eyes in Liverpool, so it’s actually brilliant that Liverpool university is where you’ll be staying”. My heart begins to sink even more in my chest at this development. Going away to university for me was also with the hope of leaving the control these men have over me. It seems almost impossible now. Mr Wexley chuckles derisively at my devastated expression, adding, “you can do your studies as you want to, Howell. Just know that when we need a favour we’ll give you a visit”. Again, I just nod, gulping and flinching slightly when in a fluid movement, Mr Wexley crouches in front of me, crossing his arms and leaning close. He speaks quieter now, “do we understand each other?”

  
“Yes, Sir”. I force the words out, barely audible and pathetic even to my own ears. Mr. Wexley smiles widely and goes to stand up, but I – ever so stupidly – whisper, “I really don’t want to do this again. Can you not just leave me alone?” I regret the words as soon as they leave my lips, and I’m not at all surprised when Mr Wexley’s palm slaps harshly across my cheek, making me gasp and hold it tentatively, keeping my head turned to the side and making brief eye contact with both Mason and Jake, who just seem amused by the situation. My eyes water at the sting but I try to ignore it, looking back to Mr Wexley and listening as respectfully as I can manage as he speaks with little patience, standing up straight once again, “you know what I have on you. One single slip up from you, and you won’t ever be happy”.

  
I shiver at his words, knowing very well that he is right, and with that, Mr. Wexley nods at Mason and Jake, who leave the room speedily – I hear them carelessly kick my boxes of belongings aside, most likely breaking a few of my things. Mr. Wexley keeps his eyes on me up until he also leaves the room, calling back with a chuckle, “enjoy your pizza”. I just stay frozen still on my couch, even after I hear my front door close. They really have been watching me closely – how else would they know I ordered pizza? I thought I had escaped this. I thought these powerful, despicable men had left my life – I haven’t seen them for over half a year.

  
My father used to work for them, up until he and my mother fled the country, leaving me to deal with Mr. Wexley’s anger, forced into taking his place as a hostage working for criminals. I don’t understand many of the things they’ve asked me to do – I acted as a spy for them, following other criminal gang members and making notes on where they went and what they did. Thankfully, they never ask me to do anything criminal myself. For six months though, I haven’t received a single call of off them; I had assumed they were done with me. I was wrong.

  
I jolt and lift my head from my hands at the sound of a loud door knock, but quickly calm myself down when I recall I ordered pizza. With heavy steps I walk to the front door, taking the pizza and paying for it with a fake smile, chucking it onto the kitchen counter and taking a slice with a sigh. I gasp and tears fill my eyes when I notice a pile of smashed glass on the floor next to one of my boxes, a photo frame lying next to it. Pizza forgotten, I rush to pick up the ruined photo of my family, collapsing onto my knees and tracing my fingers over the torn faces of my dad and mum. This is a cruel warning from Mr Wexley; I can’t disobey him, or he’ll get to my family.

  
I hardly manage an hour of sleep that night; just this morning I was believing moving away to Liverpool university would be a positive for me. But the likelihood of this has disappeared in the space of a day. All I can do is hope that something, or someone can help me out of this mess, before it’s too late for me or my family.


	2. Across the hall.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here we meet Phil!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this part is from Phil's POV, enjoy! :) I promise this will get more interesting soon, I just want to introduce Dan and Phil properly :)

(phil's point of view)

“Over here, Phil!” I smile widely as Felix calls across the pub from his seat at the bar, making my way over quickly and pulling him into a hug. “Sorry Marzia couldn’t make it”, he states, “we couldn’t get anyone to watch the dogs”. I nod and pull out of the hug to get a proper look at Felix; I haven’t seen him for a while – he and Marzia have been away in Japan on their honeymoon. Which is ironic, whilst two of my best friends have just married and are well on their way to a secure adult life, I’m going back to university tomorrow. At the age of twenty-nine. “How are you finding married life, then?” I question with a grin, patting Felix’s shoulder when he just chuckles cutely, “she’s amazing. Do you know when PJ and Sophie are getting here?” I pull my phone out to check my texts, replying, “any second now. Shall we order drinks?”

PJ and Sophie arrive late; Felix and I have already finished our drinks when they greet us and sit down. Felix and Sophie step away to the bar to order a second round, leaving PJ and I to talk for a few minutes. “So?” PJ questions, “are you all packed up for tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Felix is helping me move in, luckily, I don’t know if I could manage all the stuff I’m taking on my own. Xbox and all”. PJ laughs shortly at this, grabbing a crisp out of the bowl on the bar, but becomes serious as he crunches, “I’m proud of you for doing this, you know. We could all see how frustrated you were getting with your job before now”.  It’s my turn to laugh now, “my job, PJ?” I could hardly class my failed acting career as a job. Since I was very young I wanted to be an actor, and I did well at first – I was cast in two films. But since I turned twenty, I’ve barely scraped by with my job at Starbucks; for three years I’ve only had two acting jobs, and these were small commercials that didn’t even air. PJ shakes his head at me, adding as Felix and Sophie sit back down with us, handing us drinks, “I think you’ll enjoy video-production”.

The next three hours go by quickly, and soon I’m back home, agreeing a time with Felix tomorrow for him to travel to the university with me and help me move in my things. I’m somehow more excited for tomorrow than I was this morning, after talking with my friends about it. It will be a much-needed fresh start. Before I can even sit down, my phone rings, and I smile when I see my it’s my mum, answering immediately.

“Heya, sweetie”, she greets loudly so I have to move the phone away from my ear slightly, just as elated as I am for tomorrow, “I’m about to pop to bed but I just wanted to remind you to call me tomorrow once you’re settled down, okay?”

“Will do, mum”, I smile, “have a nice sleep. I should probably catch an early night too, I’ll need my energy tomorrow”. We say goodnight and hang up; I have a shower and get into bed as quickly as I can, excitement still brewing in my stomach for what is to come.

*

The next day, being the great friend that he is, Felix arrives at my house at 8 AM, and we set off almost straight away, wanting to get the four-hour car journey over with as soon as possible. We arrive in Liverpool, stopping for a speedy coffee and bite to eat before we drive to the university campus. We have no trouble finding it, as I’ve traveled to Liverpool many times before – I even lived with some friends here for half a year while looking for acting jobs.

Once on the campus, I leave Felix with the car to grab my accommodation keys from the lady at the reception, relieved by how friendly the staff are, explaining to me where I need to go to find my students halls. I relay these instructions to Felix once back in the car, and we soon find the place I’ll be living for the next year. We pull up outside the place – called Grosvenor house – and I hum in surprise at the modern looking building. I didn’t have high hopes for student accommodation; I had pictured dirty and cramped rooms.

Due to the relatively early time of day, unsurprisingly, not many students have arrived yet, and the car park is empty. “Shall we get your stuff inside then?” Felix asks, and I nod, following him round to the boot and thanking him again for helping me. “Uh, the boot’s playing up again”, Felix states with a sigh, fiddling with his key, “why don’t you go ahead and find your room, I’ll catch up”.

“Alright”, I agree, patting his shoulder fondly on my way to the bush-lined path leading to the front door. I walk through the bright entrance and sigh at the stairs as I ascend them – carrying all of my boxes up these will be a nightmare. Reading the number on my key, I see I’m on the second floor, so I enter the silent and empty – I’m sure it won’t stay this way for long - corridor, striding past numerous doors before reaching mine. I hum and eagerly push my key in, but before I can turn it I jump at the sound of a door opening behind me.

A brown-haired man in black jeans and a simple black top steps out of his room, directly opposite mine, seemingly also jumping at my presence. “Oh, hello”, he greets with a small smile, shutting his door behind him but keeping his eyes locked on mine. I can’t help but stare right back at his eyes; despite their dark brown colour, they’re somehow the brightest eyes I’ve seen. “You’re moving in?” He pushes when I still haven’t spoken, brushing his fingers through his hair – his hair is similar to my jet-black quiff in a way, just so much curlier. I shake my head at myself, quickly stepping forward and holding my hand out, “yes. I’m Phil, it’s nice to meet you”.

“I’m Daniel”, he replies, smiling again – what a cute smile – “nice to meet you too”. We shake hands, and both jump once again when Felix bustles through the doors at the end of the corridor. I turn to chuckle at him almost dropping the three boxes he is balancing on his arms, rushing over to help him. When I turn back, Dan is out of site and his door is closed, disappointing me slightly, but I brush it off, stating to Felix, “let’s get this over with”.

Many hours later, I’m collapsing onto my new bed, all of my things unpacked, room decorated to my taste. Felix left an hour ago, keen to get back to Marzia and the dogs. I don’t leave my room for the rest of the night except for a trip to the kitchen, which is just down the corridor, to make myself a small meal and a coffee. The place is isolated – I imagine all of the young students are out partying and drinking. Though those days are definitely behind me, I do have plans to go out with some of my friends in Liverpool this week. I lie down to sleep once I’ve called my mum to let her know I’ve arrived safely, promising her that I’ll keep in touch.

I’m lucky to have been given a double bed – I imagine myself spending many days sprawled across this lazily. It takes me a while to fall under – mainly due to the new surroundings, but I do stay awake for a while with Daniel on my mind. Most likely because he’s one of the only people of a similar age to me here, but there _is_ something about him I can’t but find intriguing. Whether it’s his eyes and hair, or his cute personality, I don’t know, but right before I fall asleep, I make a promise to myself that I’ll get to know Daniel from across the hall.


	3. New friends.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan makes a friend at his first lecture, and comes across Phil again. Unsurprisingly, they get on. This is from Dan's POV

(from Dan’s point of view)

I wake up with a start, sitting up in my bed so fast I feel dizzy as I reach around for my alarm clock, hitting at it agitatedly until the unwelcome noise stops. At first, I frown in confusion at my surroundings, taking a few minutes to recall I’m now in my new room in student halls. I pick up my phone and stare at the early hour – today is an induction lecture, where no real work is done, but I’m guessing just introduces us to our subjects. I chuckle at the thought of this 9 AM lecture; it seems a crazy idea to have such an early lecture in Fresher’s week, when most students will be having ridiculously late nights out. Much to my relief, the walls in this building must be very thick, as I didn’t hear a single sound from anyone else living here last night, despite the fact almost everyone was out.

Grudgingly, I force myself out of bed, yawning with exhaustion as I stumble my way through my still unpacked boxes – I haven’t felt like unpacking and sorting my room yet - to my en-suite bathroom to shower. I hardly slept last night – the nightmare of the day before yesterday, when Mr. Wexley came back into my life, haunting me through my sleep. The sense of freedom I thought I had this time two days ago is long gone. The thought that Mr. Wexley or any of his men could knock on my door at any time horrifies me, to the point that after showering I feel too sick to even try eating breakfast.

I walk slowly to the Music building, where the lecture is being held, taking deep breaths of the fresh summer air on my way. I try to have a positive outlook – this is my first lecture on music, something I’m passionate about, so I should try to make the most of it; I can’t allow Mr. Wexley to ruin everything for me. I should definitely force myself to talk to people as well – for too long I’ve avoided having friends, only ever socialising with people in my old office job. I find the right lecture hall surprisingly easily, fiddling with my bag strap nervously at the sight of the large room milling with a mixture of excited and exhausted looking students. I hover at the back of the room for a second, before opting for a seat on the empty back row, pulling the fold-up seat down and reaching into my bag to retrieve my notebook and pens.

Just as I’m fiddling nervously with highlighters, a friendly voice appears above me, “can I sit here?” I look up to see a bright-eyed man with hazel-brown hair and glasses, and I quickly nod with a smile, “of course”. He looks about my age so I instantly relax at his presence, already feeling more comfortable in this lecture hall of students I can’t relate to. “I’m Tom”, he introduces himself, shaking my hand, and I respond, “I’m Dan. I’m relieved I’m not the only person over eighteen here”.

We don’t have much more time to exchange pleasantries before the smartly dressed professor clears her throat in front of the microphone at the front of the lecture hall, asking us all for quiet. It turns out Tom and I have a lot in common besides just studying music; including our shared love of video games, and matching senses of humour. We agree to meet up for drinks this evening; it’s relieving to have plans, it should stop me from moping around my room anxiously instead, like I did yesterday after moving in.

I spend the rest of the day walking around the campus with some music playing in my earphones, learning my way around, finding the library, student bar, and giving myself a tour of the music centre, where I find a large piano room – I make a note to myself to book this as soon as I can. After a short trip to my accommodation to change into smarter jeans and a black, long-sleeved top, I make my way to the student bar to meet Tom at six, finding him outside the entrance immediately.

“Shall we go inside then?” He asks pleasantly, and I nod, following close behind so I don’t get lost in the crowded, dark surroundings. We take a seat in the corner, and Tom begins talking immediately – he is one of those people that can talk and talk for a while without any input from the other person, which I prefer, as I’m a good listener, and shy by nature.

This place really isn’t my scene – the music is too loud to even understand half of what Tom is saying, and the large groups of loud people certainly don’t aid my already anxious state. “Are you okay, Dan?” Tom asks, pausing in the middle of his rant about which Pokémon is the best. Before I can answer, however, there is a tap on my shoulder.

I turn around and raise my eyebrows in surprise at the sight of Phil – who I met yesterday briefly – standing behind me, his wide smile matching mine. “Hi, Daniel”, he greets, and I cringe at the long name, “hello, Phil, you can call me Dan if you want”.

“Oh, alright, Dan”. He gestures to the girl standing next to him with her hands clasped – she also looks our age – “this is Hazel. She’s on my course”. I stand up with Tom and we all introduce each other, and to my relief, Tom suggests, “I think we’re all too old for this place. Shall we all just go out and have a meal somewhere? I know some nice pubs close by”.

Hazel and I nod in reply, and I look to Phil, whose eyes seemed to be glued to me – though they look away instantly when I catch him; I think he’s noticed my nervous state as well as Tom.  “Yeah, sure”, he says in reply, “I haven’t eaten yet”. My stomach rumbles at the thought of food as we walk out of the bar – I haven’t eaten all day. Hopefully, sitting with these friendly people, I’ll feel calm enough to eat something.

We are soon sitting down and ordering our food in a pretty, quiet pub down the road from the university campus, and I do indeed feel much more settled, smiling at what might be my new friends for the next year. We all get on incredibly well, already sharing a huge thing in common – we all left jobs we were unhappy with to go back to education. We slowly get to know each other, though when I’m asked questions about my past I’m quick to change the subject to someone else. Luckily no one seems to notice. Out of everyone here, I share the most in common with Phil; we both love Muse, and have almost exactly the same taste in everything from books to popcorn.

I notice that when Tom stands up to go to the toilet, Phil takes steals his seat, so he can sit right next to me. I open my mouth to object, but stop myself when I realise it makes sense – Phil and I are talking to each other lots and so are Hazel and Tom, so it just makes things easier. I’m just talking to Phil about Matt Bellamy when my phone beeps, and I pull it out thoughtlessly, though I quickly drop it back down under the table when I see who it’s from. It’s a text from Mason, one of Mr. Wexley’s workers, saying nothing but ‘just in case our little visit hasn’t made it sink in - we have close eyes on your mum and dad. You’ll do as you're told if you know what’s good for you and your parents’. A lump forms in my throat and I drop my fork down on my half-eaten meal, appetite lost again.

I stand up and mumble a quiet, “I’ve got to go home now”, chucking some money on the table and ignoring the group’s confused questions, rushing out of the building. I jog most of the way back to my accommodation, fingers shaking as I unlock my door, shoving my shoes off and hiding under my covers speedily. I lie in a ball for a while, not crying properly but with my eyes constantly leaking tears. Listening to Tom, Hazel and Phil talk about their parents and families – on top of that text – has upset me lots. I miss my parents so very much. And the thought of them being hurt, makes my heart physically ache.

I rise from my sad pile on the bed when there is a knock on my door, whimpering tiredly and feeling even more dread. I rush out of my bedroom and to my door, opening it slowly and slumping with relief when I see it isn’t anyone to do with Mr. Wexley, but just Phil. “Phil”, I say quietly, immediately asking worriedly, “didn’t I leave enough money for the food, or-“

Phil interrupts me with a kind chuckle, “no, Dan”. He brings his hand from behind his back and I frown at the boxed sandwich he holds. “I was going shopping anyway”, he says quickly, “I saw you didn’t eat much, and I was worried about-“

“Thank you, Phil”, I say quietly, unable to hold back a smile, taking the sandwich and opening it straight away, taking a bite hungrily. “You didn’t have to”, I add, wiping my mouth; Phil just shakes his head, arms crossed and leaning against my doorway casually. It’s only now I really take in his outfit – black skinny jeans like mine, and a navy-blue shirt; the dark colours contrast with his pale skin beautifully. “Are you alright?” He asks seriously, catching my attention again with his intense stare, and I swallow uneasily – I do feel better now, somehow a sandwich has raised my mood significantly. Phil raises his eyebrows when I answer, “I’m fine, thank you. I just didn’t feel well”.

Disbelieving, Phil opens his mouth to question me more, but I take hold of the door handle, saying as politely as I can, “thank you so much for the sandwich. I think I’ll go to sleep now though”.

“Oh, night, Dan”, Phil says with a small smile, stepping back so I can shut the door. I sigh at how rude I must have looked, but I’m really not in a state to be questioned right now. I finish the sandwich, the feelings of anxiety dying down and replaced with surprise at how kind Phil is. Tired out mentally, I fall asleep easily, pleased that for once my thoughts aren’t only of the horrible people that currently rule my life, but also of Phil, and my other new friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading if you got this far! :) I'll update again really really soon :)


	4. Truth or dare.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil invites Dan and some friends over, and they engage in a game of truth or dare. I wonder what Dan and Phil will be dared to do??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Phil's POV :)

(phil’s point of view)

I’m smiling stupidly to myself over breakfast; I’ve had a better start to university than I could have ever wished for. I’ve already made three friends, and gained all of their numbers in the space of a day. Hazel and Tom are both lovely, but the effect Dan is having on me amazes me. I can’t help caring massively about him despite only knowing him for a few hours – hence taking a trip to the nearby supermarket to buy him a sandwich last night, after he didn’t eat much at the pub. I do feel slightly worried when I think about how very anxious Dan looked last night, but after speaking to him later on he seemed to have calmed. I put it down to homesickness and shake my head at myself; I stand up from my table and leave my room to wash my bowl up in the kitchen, glancing at Dan’s shut door before re-entering my room.

I use the momentum of my good mood to clear my desk, pushing a Pokémon plushie aside, and open up the textbooks I bought with me, deciding I might as well get ahead with some of my upcoming lectures. I’d rather not leave things until the last minute and suffer with all-nighters at the end of this year like most students seem to. The morning and afternoon pass by quickly, and when I finally stand up and neaten my pile of notes I sigh with satisfaction, shoving them into a folder and flopping down onto my bed. I close my eyes for a few moments, before picking my phone up and seeing a text from PJ, asking if we can skype. I find my laptop and skype call him immediately, grinning into my webcam as soon as I see his familiar face.

“Hi, PJ, how are you?” I greet, but he brushes off my question, instead asking me excitedly, “so? How’s the university? What have you been up to today?”

“The university’s great, thank you”, I chuckle, “and I’ve just been making notes today, but I did go out yesterd-“ I pause when I see PJ’s appalled expression, laughing again when he face palms, speaking loudly, “oi! Go out and socialise, for goodness sake!”

“I have been!” I say defensively, and he instantly questions with interest, raising his eyebrows, “met anyone?”

“Well”, I respond, thinking, “there’s Hazel, a girl on my course –“ I jump when PJ interrupts me again, practically squealing at me, “ooh! A girl?” I roll my eyes and quickly clarify, “no, it’s not like that, PJ” When PJ sighs in disappointment, I smirk, adding, “but there _is_ this guy. He lives across the hall. He’s super cute”. I blush as the words come out of my mouth before I mean them too, cringing at myself, but luckily PJ doesn’t make fun of me, instead frowning at me and speaking sternly – reminding me of my dad – “across the hall? Then what are you doing sitting on skype with me right now? Go and ask him to hang out!”

I look away and feel myself blush harder at the thought of talking to Dan again. This is stupid, he surely doesn’t feel the same way about me. “Oh my gosh, Phil” PJ teases, “you’re blushing like a school boy over there”.

“Shut up”, I giggle, and he just pokes his tongue out, saying seriously, “go and have some fun”, before abruptly hanging up. I do as I’m told and immediately text Hazel, Tom and Dan, inviting them to come over for a pizza take out. I wait nervously for replies – Tom and Hazel reply instantly, stating that they’re on their way here – but Dan makes me wait longer. Ten minutes later he replies with a cute smile emoji and a single word ‘yes’, which I can’t help but smile back at.

I leave my bedroom and neaten up my small sitting room as much as I can, arranging the double sofa and single chairs so that we can all face each other around the small table. I’ve just piled up my board games onto the table - in case we run out of conversation - when there is a knock on the door. I open it to Tom and Hazel, who both hug me friendlily, revealing that they spent the day in town together along with Hazel’s sister. Dan arrives just a minute later, his knock quiet and timid compared to Hazel’s.

“How are you?” I ask as he enters, sitting himself down on the double sofa and crossing his legs opposite Tom and Hazel sitting on the chairs. “I’m okay, how are you guys?” No one can get an answer in before Hazel throws a hand up at me, “Phil, please say you have alcohol for us”. I chuckle and nod, leaving them all to converse as I rush to the kitchen. I pour us all a glass of red wine and bring another bottle, suggesting we order the pizza as I hand the drinks out.

Once we have ordered, I take a seat next to Dan on the sofa, making eye contact with him, unable to hold back a smile. “I think we should play truth or dare while we wait for pizza”, Hazel suggests, and I roll my eyes jokingly, but we all agree, insisting Hazel has her turn first. She asks for a truth, and Tom holds nothing back, “are you single?”

“Yes!” she answers immediately, swilling the wine in her glass before turning straight to Dan, “truth or dare, Daniel?” Dan giggles at her jokingly saying his name, responding, “truth, please”. Hazel tilts her head and thinks, before shrugging and asking, “are _you_ single?” I hold my breath at this question, unsure why I’m so worried about Dan’s answer, but he stops my worry by nodding, glancing at me but not saying anything.

“Tom”, Dan says, suddenly giggling to himself, “I have a dare for you”. Tom raises his eyebrows and sits up, speaking seriously – the alcohol is getting to us all already – “I accept”.

“Kiss Hazel”, Dan says bravely, surprising us all – I had read Dan as completely innocent. Tom shrugs and Hazel squeals, “why not?” leaning toward Tom and allowing him to peck her lips. Dan and I make an “awwww” sound in synchronisation, looking at one another properly and laughing hysterically all the while Hazel and Tom complain at our teasing.

“Phil! Truth or dare?” Tom suddenly shouts, and I take a large sip of my wine, putting down the empty glass in front of my seat. “Dare”, I laugh, but I instantly regret my choice when Tom and Hazel shout together “kiss Dan!”

I turn my head to Dan uncertainly, but he surprises me by just smiling sweetly, and I question, “can I?” He nods, and I shuffle closer, reading his eyes carefully and picking up on the nerves he’s trying desperately to hide. For Tom and Hazel’s sake – so they don’t suspect anything about how I’m feeling – I hurry up and give Dan a reassuring look, before speedily leaning in and opting to just kiss his cheek, though my eyes linger on his lips for a long moment. He immediately looks grateful and we both turn back to Tom and Hazel, who are raising their eyebrows at each other. “What?” I ask, but the doorbell rings before they can answer – the pizza has arrived.

-

It’s three in the morning when Hazel and Tom decide to leave, and I force Tom to promise me he’ll walk Hazel home – she can hardly stand up straight from the amount of wine she’s had, I think she finished the second bottle on her own. I hold the door open for Dan to leave too, but frown when he pulls the door shut so Hazel and Tom can’t hear from down the corridor, stating quietly, “wait”. I shuffle nervously; has Dan noticed my clear crush on him, which has become apparent to me tonight, especially after kissing his cheek? Dan’s gentle voice pulls me out of my worried thoughts, “thank you for inviting me. And thank you for not kissing me properly”. He pauses to blush and look to the ground, adding, “you know, in front of everyone”.

I giggle at him and pat his shoulder awkwardly, “that’s okay, Dan. Can I ask you something?” Dan bites his lip and nods nervously, so I question, tilting my head, “are you feeling better than yesterday?” He opens his mouth to answer but his phone ringtone goes off, and he looks at me apologetically, tugging his phone out. I frown at his reaction to the screen, quickly hiding it from me – his face no longer blushing but instead paling.

Distractedly, not meeting my eyes, he answers my question, “yes, Phil. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Of course. I’d love to see you tomorrow”, I rush to say as Dan tugs the door open, practically running across the corridor and back to his room, slamming it behind him. I rub the back of my head in confusion – did I scare him off? Was I too much? No, of course not, he said he wants to see me tomorrow. I brush my worries off and get ready for bed, leaving cleaning the sitting room up for the morning. I fall asleep that night with a small smile on my face; Dan didn’t say he _hated_ the kiss I gave him – so that counts for something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! This is doing me good writing so look forward to another chapter soon! Hope you're enjoying :)


	5. Monopoly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is forced to put himself in danger; Phil surprises him by providing comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Dan's POV :)

(Dan’s point of view)

As soon as I’m safely back inside my room with the door shut, I unlock my phone, biting at my lip nervously as I open the text I just received. I was quick to hide it from Phil when I saw the sender was Jason, who works for Mr. Wexley. Heart beating fast, my eyes blur as I read the words ‘Go to the Old Oak club at 4 AM today. Observe the man in the picture attached. He should be meeting someone outside in the car park. I’ll be over to collect your notes in the late morning. Reply if you understand’.

Dread floods my system at how familiar all of this is; for the first half of this year, before Mr. Wexley suddenly stopped contacting me; unfortunately, this lack of contact hasn’t lasted long. I spent my life anxiously awaiting texts or calls – sometimes even having to leave work in the middle of the day to get jobs done. I was making notes on countless dangerous men, exhausting myself both mentally and physically. I open the attachment in the text, briefly looking at the photo of a man, who has a large frame and intimidating face tattoos.

Feeling sick, I speedily reply with a short ‘yes’, before chucking my phone onto my sheets and collapsing down next to it. I’m going to be exhausted – it’s already 2 AM now and I haven’t had any sleep. I stare across at my phone bitterly; just ten minutes ago I felt reasonably happy, spending a night with friends for the first time in so long for me, and Mr. Wexley just had to ruin it for me.

I lie lifelessly on the bed for a while, just waiting for the minutes to tick by until I have to leave. Pulling on a coat to protect myself from the cool night air, I grab a notebook and pen – one I had expected to make nothing but lecture notes in. Before I leave I memorise the route I need to take – luckily, it’s short enough to walk. I can’t take my phone with me, just in case it makes a sound and gives my position away. I’m ashamed to admit, after doing this so many times, I’ve become a very effective spy.

I spend the rest of the night in a kind of trance, focusing on nothing but getting this job done correctly, somehow pushing aside my nerves so I can stay silent enough to hide around corners stealthily. I spend more than five hours watching this man and making notes on him: of his car number plate, who he meets with, what is said, even the brand of his shoes. He finally leaves and I jump out of my hiding spot between a bush and a wall, groaning at how much my body aches from crouching for so long.

I slowly walk back to my accommodation; I’m just unlocking my door and rubbing at my eyes tiredly when I hear a door open behind me, and Phil’s familiar voice. “Oh, hey, Dan”, he says with a smile as I turn around; his voice is soft and gruff due to the early hour, “you’re up early”, he adds. He is wearing a plain black top and shorts – clearly what he slept in – and holds an empty coffee mug in his hand. I try not to stare at the way his arm tenses as he holds the mug, just the simple action of bending his arm showing off his toned upper arms. His quiff is messy yet somehow still amazing on him. I nod, and he looks to my notebook, which I hold tightly against my chest. “Have you been to a lecture?”

I take a moment to look at my watch, to see it’s 10 AM, luckily a plausible time to be returning from a lecture. “Yeah”, I reply, leaning against my door and yawning, hoping desperately that Phil can’t see how very tired I am, and that I haven’t slept at all. I can’t tell if Phil has noticed or not, but he smiles anyway, questioning, “are you coming to Tom’s later?”

“Maybe”, I say quietly; I’d love to, but being this tired may be a struggle. “I’ll see you”, I smile, turning back to my door and leaving Phil to continue on his way to the kitchen with his coffee mug.

I rush to my room to get straight to sleep, grateful to Phil – somehow, just seeing him has calmed me quite a lot, allowing me to lie my head down onto the pillow and relax; forgetting for now that I’m expecting a visit from a terrifying man.

I wake to an aggressive and loud knock on the door, panicking for a few moments – what if Phil sees this man visiting me? With this in mind, I rush to my front door, tugging it open and stepping back with my head lowered slightly to allow Jason in, who, as always, is wearing a suit. He glares at me, arms remaining folded as he pulls his sunglasses off. “Get me the notes, Howell”, he says sternly, and I nod shakily, jogging to my room to retrieve my notebook. I hand it over wordlessly, chewing on my lip whilst he flicks through the pages; if I haven’t done well enough I’m sure to be punished – which has happened very few times before. I shiver at the memories of being hurt by these men when I did things wrong, wrapping my arms around my stomach and flinching slightly. I hold my breath when Jason snaps the book shut, but luckily he states, “this is good. Well done, Howell”.

He chuckles derisively for a moment at how terrified I am of him, before returning to his stony expression and leaving with the notebook. I rush to lock the door behind him, turning around and leaning against the door, sliding down it weakly and hugging my knees. My mind is hazy with tiredness, but that encounter has woken me up enough to make sleep impossible. I sigh and look at my watch – half one in the afternoon, I barely got an hour’s sleep. 

My phone beeps after a few minutes of sitting curled up in a small ball, and I almost burst into tears until I see it’s only Phil. The text reads ‘I’m heading to Tom’s now. Want to walk with me?’ I take a breath and reply instantly, ‘you go ahead without me. I’ve got to get ready’. Of course, I’d love to walk with Phil, but I need to calm myself down before I talk to anyone – I’m too shaky at the moment.

I spring up and go through to my bedroom, relieved to have something productive to do again today – it’s an amazing distraction from the reality of the situation I’m currently trapped in. After pulling on some jeans and a plain black, button up shirt, I gulp down a coffee and head out to Tom’s, grateful that he only lives down the road.

Tom opens his door with a wide smile and leads me through to his lounge; I’m only just finding out now that Tom lives here in Liverpool, and doesn’t have to rent accommodation. I put on a cheerful face and greet Hazel and Phil – though I have to admit my smile isn’t a fake one when Phil smiles at me, patting the space next to him on the sofa. “How are you?” He questions, and I reply speedily, taking a drink from Tom, “I’m fine”. A frown crosses his face for a second and he asks, voice lowered, “you look quite tired, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes”, I reply shortly, filling my mouth with wine before Phil can question me further. Once again, we all have a fun time together, however, we’re halfway through a game of monopoly when my tiredness really hits me and the caffeine in my system wears off. I lean an arm on the edge of the sofa, fighting hard to keep my eyes open. I don’t notice it’s my turn to pick up the dice, and Hazel calls across to me, “Dan, are you good?”

I sigh and shake my head, saying apologetically in a rush, “I think I’m going to head home now. Thanks for having me, Tom”. Tom nods and I stand up, jumping when Phil’s hand lands on my lower back, and he speaks gently, “hey, let me help you home, you can barely balance”. I nod and allow him to lead me across the room, hand remaining on my back and rubbing soothing circles. I frown at this somewhat intimate touch, but I don’t complain; Phil makes me feel more calmed than anyone has ever been able to.

“I’m sorry about this”, I mumble as we walk down the pavement, and Phil shakes his head, finally removing his hand from my back. He pushes his hands into his pockets now that I’m alert enough to walk in a straight line, “why are you so tired? Didn’t you sleep well?”

“No”, I reply, nodding rapidly when Phil asks, “is it homesickness?”. I feel bad lying to Phil – but I know I’d feel worse telling him the truth.

“Thank you for walking me home”, I say when we reach my door, “sorry if you wanted to stay at Tom’s for longer”. Phil laughs lightly at me, “I’d much prefer to see you home safely, Dan”. We make eye contact and I lose my breath for a long moment; his eyes are a brighter blue when he smiles like that. I unlock my door and open my mouth to say goodbye to Phil, but frown when he gently pushes me forwards into my accommodation, “I want to see you get into bed”. I sigh and roll my eyes, but I have no complaints when leads me to my own bedroom, pulling back my duvet and nodding to the mattress.

I giggle and lie down, and Phil giggles back at me, but he insists on pulling the duvet up over me, crouching down in front of me and questioning, “now, are you going to sleep?” I nod, wondering for a moment if Phil has had a little too much to drink – but I decide I don’t care. In my cocoon of warmth, I’m unable to keep from shutting my eyes; but they fly back open when Phil’s hand lands in my hair. However, Phil just shushes me as he strokes his fingers through my curls, and I close my eyes once again, sighing in content.

It’s strange to me that I feel so safe with this man I’ve known for less than a week, but I don’t question it, just allowing Phil’s gentle touch to send me into a peaceful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed :) and maybe you wanna press that Kudos button, something magical happens if you do X


	6. A bad feeling.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil both have their first proper lectures; but more importantly, Tom and Hazel may be onto Phil's feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Phil's POV

(Phil’s point of view)

I wake up slowly, taking my time to stretch and huddle down under the covers; however, I spring up fast as soon as I remember last night, worry overtaking me. I had a few glasses of wine last night at Tom’s – and though it wasn’t enough to make me forget what happened, it was enough to make me unable to stop myself making moves towards Dan. Moves that I know I never would have had the nerve to do sober. I chew on my bottom lip as I recall stroking his hair until he fell asleep – what was I thinking? I’ve only known him for three days. Desperately, I cling onto the wish that Dan was too sleepy to remember any of it. Regardless, I’ll need to speak to him as soon as I can about this.

For now though, I have to focus on the lectures I have this morning – the first proper, timetabled ones that won’t be just introductions. I look across at the clock on the wall opposite me; Tom will be here in about an hour to walk with me to our lecture, so I grudgingly leave my warm bed, pulling some clothes out and changing out of my pyjamas.

Somehow, Dan returns to my thoughts yet again – as I remember how plain and undecorated his bedroom was compared to my colourful one, which is filled with plushies from various video games, and house plants. I’ve even put my miscellaneous decorations around my sitting room, lining the walls with posters and family photos. Maybe Dan just hasn’t gotten around to fully unpacking yet.

After a quick breakfast and a strong mug of coffee, I go to the door as Tom knocks on it, frowning when he immediately smiles at me strangely, raising his eyebrows. He steps inside and shuts the door behind him, and I allow him to, knowing we have half an hour to spare before the lecture begins. “What-“ I begin, but Tom interrupts me, “I didn’t realise you and Dan had a thing!”

I widen my eyes at his accusatory tone, replying nervously so my voice almost cracks, “we don’t! I mean, he doesn’t like me”.

“But you like _him_?” Tom questions, not dropping his smile, and I nod, a wave of both nerves and excitement washing over me at the realisation; I haven’t liked someone like this in a while, and it happened in such a short space of time. My face drops as I add, sitting on the sofa and gesturing for Tom to sit down too, “but I might have ruined it last night. I think I was being too close”.

“What makes you think that?” Tom questions, “did he complain?” I shake my head, “no. But he didn’t ask for it either”. I break eye contact with Tom to add guiltily, my face reddening, “I stroked his hair too”. Tom rolls his eyes and I can’t help but giggle when he throws his arms up, joking, “well, call the police!” I hide my face behind my hands and add, “seriously, I think I’ve freaked him out”.

Tom finally speaks seriously, resting his elbows on his knees and leaning forward, “Phil. Just talk to him. You’re overthinking this”. I sigh and rub at my forehead, nodding. “Come on, we’ll be late if we’re not careful”.

The two lectures both go well – both lasting two hours and separated by a thirty-minute break, where Tom and I introduce ourselves to some other people on the course. I leave with reams of notes, and the work set added as a reminder on my laptop. I managed to keep the upcoming conversation I need to have with Dan out of my mind, up until we exit the lecture building, heading to the library to write up our notes. “Just a heads up”, Tom states as we reach the library entrance looking up from his phone, “Hazel and Dan are in there”.

“Oh”, I say, part of me eager to see Dan again, but a much bigger part of me terrified he’ll want to avoid me. I terrify myself by picturing him rushing out of the library and ignoring me for the rest of year, despite living opposite me. Most of my fears are erased, however, when we enter the main section of the library; Dan is sitting with Hazel at a table, looking his usual self and smiling up at me fondly as Tom and I head over. He can’t be too annoyed with me then. We sit down, and I take the seat next to Dan; I’m relieved when he instantly starts conversation, “how were your first lectures? Did you just have them?”

“Yeah, I respond, unable to hold back a wide smile, “they were really good thanks, how were yours?” Dan smirks and points at the paper in front of him, tracing over the scrawled notes, “it was hard getting used the writing so much again. I’ve been used to a computer for so long”. I chuckle and nod – I’m already kicking myself for causing myself so much unnecessary worry this morning; why couldn’t I handle this situation so cooly like Dan is right now. Even so, I still want to know how he felt about it, so I state whilst Dan rustles around in his bag, “I wanted to speak to you about something”. I feel Tom’s eyes on me but don’t look away from Dan, waiting patiently for a reply. However, he is staring at his phone, now gripped tightly in his hands, something shifting on his face – I can’t quite read the emotion. “Dan?” I push, “you okay?”

Dan widens his eyes and seems to shake himself out of it, nodding at me as he suddenly begins rushing to pack his bag, mumbling, “yes, yes, I’ll text you or something”. He turns back to me on his way out, momentarily pausing to look at me sincerely, “I’m sorry, Phil, I’ve got to be somewhere”. Something about his eyes tell me he doesn’t want to go wherever he is going, but I brush it off, shaking my head at myself – I’m overthinking things, again.

I jump out of my thoughts, turning back to face the table when Tom questions, “what was that about?” I pull my notebook out and reply simply, “oh, Dan had something to do”. Tom nods and gets up, patting my back and informing me he’s going to grab a coffee. I begin loading my laptop up so I can get a start on some work, but before I can Hazel snaps my laptop shut, leaning across the table from her seat opposite me, “so when are you going to tell Dan you like him?” I audibly gasp at this, physically jumping, but I immediately accuse, “did Tom tell you? I told him in confidence”. Hazel rolls her eyes, laughing at me, “no! Tom didn’t tell me anything!”

“So how did you know?” I snap, and Hazel giggles louder – too noisy for a library – “because I’m not blind!” I sigh and try to act less defensive, forcing a shrug, “I need to get this work done, okay?” Hazel frowns at me, speaking to me sternly, “Phil, you have to tell him how you feel. It’s not fair on either of you if you don’t”. She pauses to tap her finger on my notebook, raising her eyebrows, “get your work done if you must, but try to tell him, alright?” I give in, stating “I will. I was going to talk to him anyway”, opening my laptop back up so I can focus on the welcome distraction of note making.

I unlock my accommodation three hours later, slouching on my couch to eat dinner, stomach filling up with both food and butterflies. Dan didn’t text me like he said he would, so straight away I go across the corridor to his door, knocking gently. When there is no response I knock again, getting a bad feeling, and I call out, “Dan?”

“I’m coming!” Dan finally answers, but his voice sounds strange and strained. I step back slightly when the door cracks open slightly, his face appearing in the crack; when he sees it’s me, he opens the door properly, immediately turning away from me to rub at his face. I frown worriedly, “what’s up?” He turns back around quickly, breathing deeply with his arms folded, and he greets – trying and failing to act normally – “hi, Phil”. I can tell by the faint tear streaks on his face he’s been crying – my heart breaks at the sight. Seeing Dan like this changes what I had planned to say completely, and I offer, speaking softly, “do you want to come to my place and relax?” I only ask this because my living room is more decorated and colourful, which I hope will help Dan mentally. “I can set my TV up and we could play some video games”, I add, being careful not to act over-sympathetic – I wouldn’t want Dan to think I’m just feeling sorry for him. It’s more than that, I want to take care of him.

He considers for a moment, wavering, but eventually nods, so I step aside to allow Dan through the doorway first, giving him a small smile as we take the few steps across the corridor. I certainly won’t bring up my feelings for Dan today; right now I want to get to the bottom of what has been upsetting Dan so much the past few days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm quite ill at the moment so please excuse possible slow future uploads. I hope you enjoyed reading :)


	7. A lot can happen in a day.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan spends the day at Phil's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Dan's POV :)

(from Dan’s point of view)

I curl up on Phil’s couch as soon as I enter his room, feeling comfortable enough around Phil already to pull my knees to my chest and just hug myself silently. I hear him note that he’s going to set the TV up, but my thoughts are elsewhere – mainly focused on not letting myself begin crying again. I hadn’t cried for months before now; I’m surprised with all that’s been happening recently I haven’t broken down sooner. Today’s events, however, tipped me over the edge. Mr. Wexley ordered me to do another spying job – in the text I got whilst in the library – but this was one of the most dangerous yet. The man I had to watch was meeting with a man who had a gun; I had to watch as one man threatened the other with his life. Luckily there was no murder, but I was shaking so much in my hiding spot I was lucky not to be caught. I dread to think what could have happened if I’d been seen. Of course, when Mason came over to collect my notes he had no sympathy for me, only interested in ensuring I still know my place.

I’m tugged from my spiraling thoughts when Phil taps my calf; I flinch and lift my head which was resting on my knees, meeting his eyes and forcing a smile. I’m grateful that Phil doesn’t question me, instead handing me three video games to choose from and sitting on the couch next to me. “I love all of these”, I state quietly, flipping through Halo, Mario Kart, and Crash Bandicoot, allowing the colourful illustrations to begin to cheer me up. “Me too”, Phil states, our matching tastes not surprising me; we’ve discovered our many similarities from previous conversations, which is probably one of the reasons I’m finding him so easy to be around.

I decide on Halo and hand it to Phil, who smiles and passes me a controller, moving to the xBox to set up the game. We play for a long while, and the game is a beautiful distraction from the stress I’ve been feeling. Phil sits on the opposite side of the couch to me, which I question in my head – last night he was happy to rub my back and stroke my hair as he helped me home. I’m not sure what to think of those actions now – I don’t see them as a big deal though; I’m certain it was just to calm me down. It worked. Soon Phil pauses the game, turning on the couch to ask, “have you eaten yet?”

“No”, I reply, shaking my head when Phil stands up, deciding, “I’ll make us some food”. I insist he lets me help, walking with him to the kitchen – though a part of me feels warmed that he was willing to let me sit down and relax while he made me food. Phil passes me some salad to chop up and we make sandwiches, lightly discussing the game of Halo as we do so.

I’m feeling much better as we eat, scanning Phil’s living room with my eyes. My eyes come to rest on some pictures of Phil with what I assume are his family, and I question, nodding to one of the photos, “is that your mum and dad?” Phil nods at me and chuckles, “yeah. My mum still calls me every day to check I’m eating my greens. She doesn’t seem to understand I’m turning thirty soon”. I giggle stiffly, but feel myself becoming tearful – I haven’t heard from my mum in over a year now, and the thought of a phone call from her hurts my heart, because it’s probably something I’ll never get again.

I see concern flash across Phil’s eyes and quickly stand up, wanting to get out of his way and get back to my own room, but before I can open my mouth Phil suggests, “shall I put a movie on?” I find this idea impossible to resist – my accommodation feels tainted, and a dark place to be, since the visits from Mr. Wexley’s men. “Sure”, I reply, “if that’s okay”.

“Of course it’s okay,” Phil insists, and I believe him when he gives me a wide smile – I love his smiles, they always reach his eyes and make them almost sparkle. I giggle at Phil’s choice of Titanic, but within minutes of the film being on we’re both watching in silence, drawn in by the dramatic scenes. I sigh when tiredness hits me, resting my head on the back of the couch and pulling my knees up again. Throughout the film, without meaning to, I gradually fall onto my side, lying in the fetal position in front of the film, eyes closing as the closing credits roll.

-

I wake up to a clunking sound, jumping and sitting up when I open my eyes to Phil – wearing just a t-shirt and boxers - standing behind the coffee table in front of me, placing two mugs down onto it. I frown sleepily at the blanket now on me, gasping when I realise I slept here in Phil’s apartment. I panic and stand up, blubbering, “I’m so sorry I fell asleep here, Phil. I’ll get out of your way”. Phil shakes his head at me, insisting as he neatens his hair, “no, you’re not in my way. If you were, I wouldn’t make you a coffee”.

He nods to the table and I glance again at the two mugs, shaking my head when Phil hands me one of them, “you didn’t have to”. Phil tuts at me, stepping closer to take a seat on the couch, “but I wanted to”. I smile at him, reluctantly sitting back down – I really don’t want to outstay my welcome – saying as I sip my coffee, “I’ll get going straight after though”.

Phil nods, crossing his legs and turning his body to me on the sofa, taking a more serious tone, “Now. Are you feeling better today? What was up?” I blink at the questions, mind still hazy from sleep, and force out a strained reply, “nothing”. Phil sighs, giving me a worried smile, “is it just homesickness?”

I cling to this false idea, nodding quickly, relieved when Phil seems to believe me, his face flooding with relief. I widen my eyes when he suddenly leans forward and pulls me into a tight hug, our chests pressing together, and states, “you can talk to me whenever you want to”. I sigh contentedly at his gentle voice, leaning my chin on his shoulder – which is more comfortable than expected - and mumbling, “thank you. You can talk to me too”.

We pull away slightly awkwardly, avoiding each other’s eyes, but I let me hands trail over his back as we pull back, thoughtfully recalling something. “You had something you wanted to talk to me about. You said so in the library yesterday”. I see Phil tense, fingers gripping at his mug, and I put my own mug aside when he mutters, “that can wait”.

“No. Tell me now, please”, I insist, keen now to help Phil out when he looked after me so well two nights in a row, giving me a peaceful sleep that I can’t get on my own. “Okay”, he says after a deep breath, explaining, “the night before last, you were really tired, and I took you home. Do you remember what happened?”

“Yeah”, I say quietly, unable to hold back a smile at the memory, “why?” Phil frowns with surprise at me, “and you weren’t freaked out? It wasn’t too much?” I almost laugh at how nervous Phil is right now – I’m used to seeing him so put together. In response to Phil’s panicked questioning, I reach up and stroke my fingers through Phil’s soft quiff, copying the way he stroked my hair the other night. “It didn’t freak me out. It helped”, I reply, feeling Phil untense beneath my fingers, and I add, “you helped”.

Phil smiles at me, taking my hand out of his hair – the confidence he had when we first met returning -  and strokes the skin gently, “I was worried”. I shake my head and smile at him – the first smile today that I don’t have to force – “you didn’t have to worry”. I softly pull my hand from his, remembering I have some notes to catch up on for tomorrow that I haven’t had the chance to do yet – my spare time is precious. “I do have to go now. I’m sure we both have things to do”.

Still holding his mug of coffee, Phil stands up and follows me to the door, standing directly in front of me and watching my eyes intensely. “Will you let me take you on a date somewhere tonight?” He asks suddenly, and I raise my eyebrows, but reply before I even have time to think, “I’d like that”. Phil gives me a small smile – though I can tell he’s holding back a bigger one – and I open his door, thanking him again for the food and coffee. I leave the room with a wide smile, giggling when as soon as the door closes behind me I hear a loud, celebratory, “yes!” from Phil’s room. Mr. Wexley has left my mind completely as I sit down at my desk grinning to myself stupidly, sorting my revision notes, but only really focusing on what I want to wear tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading if you got this far :) have a nice day


	8. First date.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil go on their first date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phil's POV :)

(from Phil’s point of view)

I find it hard not to bounce excitedly as I check my outfit one last time in the mirror, neatening my navy-blue shirt and smoothing out my black skinny jeans. I’m still hugely surprised that Dan agreed to go on a date with me, shaking my head with disbelief as I tie up the laces of my smart blue shoes. After much debate with myself I decided on a fairly posh restaurant just down the road; luckily when I phoned up to book a table, despite it being last minute, a table for two was available.

Once I’m finally ready to go, I head to my door so I can knock on Dan’s, however my phone rings before I can. I sigh when my mum’s number pops up, speedily answering and saying as politely as I can, “Mum, I have something to do. Can this wait?”

“No!” My mum immediately replies, but I interrupt her, knowing she’ll understand, “mum, I’m taking someone out”. There’s momentary silence on the other side of the phone, before a loud excitable, squeal hurts my ears. “Oh, lovely, Phil! Can I meet them soon?” I giggle and roll my eyes, “it’s the first date!” There’s another excited screech, and I hear her call for my dad, before she finally says, “this _can_ wait in that case! Have a good time!”

I chuckle and put my phone back in my pocket, exiting and locking my room up. I feel much less nervous about this date than I did talking to Dan this morning, now that I know that he feels, at least mostly, the same way I do. I knock quietly on his door, beaming when he immediately opens it to me, smiling when I take in his outfit – a black sweater and skinny black jeans like mine – instantly complimenting him, “you look stunning, Dan”. He giggles shyly, and I catch his eyes roam my body, before he says, “you too”. I swallow uneasily – already feeling overwhelmed that I get to take this beautiful person out – and hold my arm out, smiling when Dan lets me take his hand, leading us down the corridor.

“I booked us a table down the road, is that ok?” I ask, and Dan nods immediately, still smiling, “sounds good to me”. Before I can stop myself, I question, “so when did you last go on a date? If you don’t mind my asking?” Luckily, instead of reacting badly, Dan simply chuckles at my question, and I inwardly face-palm, as he replies, “it’s actually been years”. He hesitates before adding, eyes flitting around for a long moment, “I’ve been busy. What about you?”

“Same here, actually”, I reply as we exit our accommodation, smirking, “sorry, that wasn’t really a first date question. As you can tell I’m out of practice”. Dan giggles at me but shakes his head, his beautiful smile taking me back, as it always does. I lead us to the left, in the direction of the restaurant, which is thankfully close enough to already be in view – neither of us are wearing shoes ideal to walk in. Dan’s hand holds mine tightly as we walk down the road, just discussing the campus to pass the time. I notice he is tensing slightly – probably with nerves – when we reach the restaurant door, and gently rub his hand in mine with my thumb whilst I tell my name to the waiter.

I take in the bright interior of the restaurant, themed with white and gold patterns along black walls. “This is a nice place, isn’t it?” I say to Dan as we follow the waiter to the table, and Dan agrees with a nod, staring up at the chandelier above our table.

“I’ll be over to take your drink orders in just a moment”, the waiter says with a smile, but I’m only interested in looking at Dan, who I rush to pull a chair out for. “Have a seat, Sir”, I joke, smiling when Dan giggles at me, sitting down and watching as I take my seat opposite him, reluctantly letting his soft hand go. Maybe, if this date goes well, I can hold it again later.

“Would you like some wine?” I offer, picking up the drinks menu and scanning through it. To my surprise, Dan shakes his head with a smile, “I better not, in case –“ I frown when Dan pauses, ruffling his fringe and looking dubious, so I ask, “in case what?”

“In case I have a lecture in the morning”, he rushes to reply, “I don’t remember”. I give Dan a warm smile and rest my hand on his, which is nervously clenching on the table, “that’s perfectly okay, we’ll have lemonade”. Dan bites his lip and relaxes slightly under my touch, but he jumps and shyly shoves his hand back under the table when the waiter returns to ask for our order. We order lemonade and our main meals; I catch myself staring at Dan’s face while he tells the waiter his order.

He turns to me once the waiter has stepped away, and questions, “Phil? Can I ask you something?” I nod, and Dan continues, “why did you want to go out with me?” I raise my eyebrows at this, sure I was the only one questioning why Dan would want to go out with me; I’m the lucky one here. “Well”, I answer, “I love your company, you’re great. Why did _you_ agree to come?”

“Same reason”, Dan replies, blushing at my answer. “So”, I begin curiously, wanting to learn more about Dan, “why did you want to do a music degree?” Dan seems surprised by my interest, but gladly explains, “well, I was doing a boring office job. And I love playing the piano more than anything, so I thought I’d give it a go. And I don’t think you’re ever too old for uni”. I chuckle at this, “I hope not! Because I’m five years older than you!” Dan raises his eyebrows at this – I inwardly panic, what if this puts him off me? – but he just compliments me, “you look good for twenty-nine, wow”. It’s my turn to blush; Dan goes on to question, “what about you? Why university?”

“This will probably surprise you, as I’m clearly bad at it, but I was an actor for years. It didn’t work out”. Dan pulls a sad face, “oh, I’m sorry. But I’m sure you’ll succeed in video production!” I nod and give him a wide smile, “well, I’m succeeding with you, so hopefully that’s a sign the rest of university will go well”. Dan grins and takes a sip of his lemonade when the waiter has placed it down, “yes, you are succeeding with me”.

The rest of the meal goes quicker than I would have liked; we just talk and talk about a variety of things, getting to know each other better step by step. I do notice though that there are huge areas of Dan’s past that he leaves out – he never mentions his family - so I never question him on them. I’m pleasantly surprised when Dan agrees to come back to my place once we’ve finished eating, both keen to play Mario kart, after boasting to each other about our shell-throwing skills over dinner.

We are soon seated close next to each other on my couch, controllers gripped tightly in our hands and knees brushing as we race around the tracks. Dan beats me every time; he’s a very big gloater, but I have to admit I love it. After the third rematch, Dan wins yet again, shouting loudly, “yes!”

I giggle at his wide smile, a sight I love to see. However, when he finishes celebrating and catches me staring at him, his face loses any expression, just watching me. I take a breath and reach up to turn his face to face me, caught up in his eyes and questioning in a whisper, “can I kiss you?”

Dan nods, quietening for the first time in an hour when I lean forwards and press my lips to his, closing my eyes and putting my controller down behind me so I can place both of my hands on his shoulders, holding him still gently. I pull away slowly from the peck and open my eyes to see Dan leaning in again, pulling on my bottom lip with his. I shiver in pleasure, threading my fingers into Dan’s hair and holding him close, kissing him properly. I hear a controller fall to the floor, but I don’t care, jumping when Dan leans a hand on my inner thigh, softly resting it there as he kisses along my bottom lip. His lips move against mine naturally, as if we have done this a thousand times before; I have to pull away to warn Dan, looking down, “hey, careful where you’re putting your hand”. He looks down to see his hand on my thigh. Dan giggles at me and his cheeks redden, but he doesn’t look worried, nor does he move his hand when he pecks my cheek again.

However, he then leans back; we both have to take a deep breath when he stands up, looking at his watch. “It’s midnight already”, he says with a sigh, “thank you so much for an amazing time”. I nod and stand up, “thank _you_. I hope we can do this again?”

“I’d like to”, Dan says, his cute, nervous manner returning when he leans in, yet again, to peck my lips goodbye. “See you soon”, he says as the door shuts behind him. I huff and collapse down on the couch behind me, my lips tingling, widening my eyes and putting my eyes behind my head. Dan just blew my mind. I don’t think I’ve ever had a connection like this with someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! :)


	9. Cancelled plans.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan upsets Mr. Wexley.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Dan's POV! :)

(from Dan’s point of view)

I wake up feeling the happiest I’ve felt in years – last night was amazing. The fancy restaurant, the delicious food, and the great time we had on Mario Kart weren’t even the best parts of last night – just spending time with Phil is better than anything I could ask for. Everything seems so natural with him. With the date playing over and over in my head I go to the kitchen for breakfast, my heart jumping in my chest at the sight of Phil standing over a mug, stirring slowly. He too has a smile on his face; I giggle at him from the corner, getting his attention.

“Good morning”, he greets, abandoning his mug for a second to walk over to me and kiss my cheek, still standing close when he pulls back, looking straight into my eyes. My cheeks pinken slightly when I’m reminded of the kissing yesterday; I clear my throat when I reply, “hey”, my morning voice raspy.

“What’s your timetable like today?”, I ask; Phil rests his hands on my hips tentatively, his movements careful, as if he’s waiting to see my reaction. In response, I reach my arms up and hold onto his tensing upper arms, while Phil replies with a smirk, “I’m free all day, why do you ask?”

“Maybe we could do something tonight?” I say instantly, before I can get nervous and hold myself back. I’m relieved when Phil nods – it could be too early for a second date for him, though not for me – “I’d like that”. He moves his hands from my hips, my arms drop to my sides loosely, and he retrieves his mug from the counter. Phil leans in to kiss me on his way out, this time on the lips, whispering with a small smile, “I’ll see you later then”. The excitement in his eyes matches mine, and I turn to watch him leave the room, momentarily so distracted by his toned legs that I forget why I came to the kitchen.

-

I spend all day in a brilliant mood revising, briefly stopping when both Tom and Hazel call to quiz about the date, their excited voices increasing in volume when I tell them it’s happening again tonight. My happy bubble is burst, however, when a text comes through neither from Tom, or Hazel. I try to keep myself calm as I read the message from Mason, but I have to stand up from my desk just to breathe properly. I read over the words a few times to ensure I’m right – they want me to go out now to do a job – I was supposed to go out with Phil in half an hour.

Immediately, I find Phil’s contact on my phone, fighting tears as I type a text to him, keeping it short and simple, “I’m sorry, I can’t do tonight”.  In a rush, I pull my shoes on and tug the notebook I’ve grown to despise out of my bedside drawer, leaving the accommodation. The only bright light here is that all I need to do is sit in a coffee shop and watch someone.

I have to push all thoughts of Phil out of my mind for the multiple hours I watch the same man meet with various people – will he be angry with me? Surely he won’t be, not if I come up with a good enough excuse. Five hours later, the man I’m spying on finally leaves, allowing me to also go home, tears threatening to spill as I recall how very happy I was this morning, the polar opposite to how I feel now.

When I reach my door I thrust the key in moodily, becoming frustrated when the lock won’t turn straight away, leaning my hand on the wall next to it and letting out a deep sigh, closing my eyes tiredly. I must have made too much noise as I rattled the lock, as I hear the familiar door opening behind me. I don’t turn to Phil when I feel his hand land on my back, just allowing him to rub it gently, relaxing slightly at his touch.

“Is everything okay?” Phil asks after a while of silence, “why did you cancel? I was worried –“ I turn around with a strained smile, holding the notebook up to Phil’s view, feeling horrible as I lie, “lecture, sorry”.

Phil frowns at me, looking down at his watch, “really? This late?” I bite my lip and nod, panicking inwardly and fighting to change the subject, “we can reschedule! How about we go out for breakfast?” I feel relieved when Phil smiles brightly at my suggestion, “okay”. I flash a smile back and turn to my door, messing with the lock again, but Phil rushes to ask before I go, “come over to mine? You look really stressed from your lecture”. I nod too quickly, keen on the idea of escaping an evening of sitting on my own, feeling like this – Phil makes me feel calmer than anyone ever has. “Let me quickly do something first though”, I say, rushing into my room so I can take a picture of the notes I made, sending them straight to Mason, as he asked in his text earlier.

I then leave my phone, next to my notebook, on my desk, wanting to push what I’ve spent the last few hours doing out of my mind. I go straight to Phil’s door, which is open for me, giving Phil a grateful look when he wordlessly holds up a movie – I think he can sense I’m not in a talking mood right now. After setting the DVD up we settle on the couch together; I sit so close I almost sit on top of him, blushing madly but not moving away. As the movie goes on I find myself staring at Phil and the way he sits, one leg crossed over leisurely with one arm thrown over the back of the couch behind my head.

Phil lets me lean my head on his shoulder; when he doesn’t protest to this – like a small part of me dreaded would happen – I allow my body to wilt against his, sighing contentedly. A smile returns to my face when Phil reaches a hand up to stroke my hair softly, his fingers tracing circles on to my scalp soothing me. Once the movie has finished I’m almost passed out on Phil, my eyes closing; when I lift my head to look at Phil he looks in a similar state, his eyes only half-open.

“You can sleep here again if you like”, he whispers in his deep voice, looking away from the ending credits and instead focusing on me. I shake my head at the offer, “I really better go”. A smile slips onto my face when Phil kisses my forehead gently, standing up and holding his hand out to help me up. “Thank you”, I say, “I’m sorry I had to cancel”. Phil shakes his head and chuckles lightly, “no. Don’t be. I just love spending time with you”. I breathe out pleasantly at this, “me too”, giving him a tight hug before leaving Phil’s room, so I can get back to mine and sleep.

I walk tiredly through to my bedroom; I freeze on the spot when my phone screen flashes up, a text appearing on the screen, adding to other notifications already there. I frown in confusion, rushing to my desk – however, this confusion quickly turns to fear when I see who these texts are from. Mr. Wexley. I curse under my breath, shakily unlocking my phone and opening up the three texts I have from him. The first is him explaining a job to me – one I should have left to do more than four hours ago. One that I’ve missed. The second is him asking me to confirm I received the text, which of course I couldn’t reply to. The third simply says, ‘I’m coming to see you right now.’

I throw my phone down with a small growl of anger – what possessed me to not keep my phone on me? Mr. Wexley will be here any minute now to “see me”. I sit on my bed, legs shaking too much to remain standing – I know what could happen in situations like this. The last time I missed a job he trashed my home; but there was also another time when he had his men ‘teach me a lesson’. My hand moves up to my cheek and I stroke my face gently, recalling how badly bruised and sore my face was for days – I couldn’t even leave the house. I shudder at the memories, a gulping sob forming in my throat making me unable to breathe properly.

The only thing I can be grateful for here is that I decided not to stay at Phil’s; if I had, he would be seen by these horrible men – and I’d resent that more than anything else. I feel ashamed thinking of Phil knowing about my situation. He’d see how weak I am. Any feelings of shame, or thoughts of Phil, however, are tossed from my mind and replaced with terror, when there is a quiet, almost eerie, knock on my door. With deep breaths, I walk through to my sitting room, hands clenching into fists as I try to pull myself together and act brave, pulling my door open.

Any hope I had of remaining unhurt today disappears when it’s Mr. Wexley, Mason _and_ Jake that walk inside – Mr. Wexley never harms me badly with his own hands. I don’t say anything as they walk through, wearing their expensive suits as usual, slightly-heeled shoes loudly hitting the floor so I flinch. Mr. Wexley sits down; Mason and Jake remain standing either side of him, like bodyguards. I shut my door and waver next to it, unsure of what I’m expected to do, just watching silently as Mr. Wexley pulls his sunglasses off and pushes them onto his head, smoothing down his ponytail.

Finally, Mr. Wexley turns to me, meeting my eyes for the first time since he’s walked in, the dark green colour of his irises missing their usual calmness. “Explain yourself”, he says simply, and I fold my arms across my chest defensively, trying to string together an explanation in my head. “Sir, I didn’t have my phone with me, so I couldn’t reply. I’m sorry, I did a job this morning too so I assumed there wouldn’t be another one today”. He just stares blankly at me, unimpressed by my excuse, so I just add another plea, “I’m sorry, it was an accident”. My voice audibly cracks under the fear and tension.

“Come and stand in front of Mr. Wexley, where he can look at you, Howell”. I scurry over at the order Mason barks at me, face reddening at these three men who think so lowly of me. I lower my eyes, hands clamped in front of me in an attempt to hide the trembling. “So”, Mr. Wexley eventually speaks, sitting leisurely in front of me with his eyebrows raised, “what do you want me to do?” When Mr. Wexley waits for an answer I just stare at him, stiff with fear, too afraid to speak. “You want me to just let this go? To just walk out of here and let you get away with this accident? And just hope you don’t repeat your mistake?”

I remain silent, and in response Mr. Wexley gives a small nod to Jake, who steps forward, swiftly grabbing my shoulders and shoving me down, so I land on my knees. I cry out at the sharp thud of my knees smacking against the floor, looking up to Mr. Wexley with tears now in my eyes, who leans forward to yell, his temper lost, “answer me!”

“Yes!” I cry, “please, I won’t repeat my mistake!” I’m horrified when Mr Wexley just begins laughing at me, standing up from the sofa. I remain on my knees, craning my neck to look up at him when he stops too close to me, “I know you won’t repeat your mistake. Mason and Jake here will make sure of that”. I let out a pathetic, petrified cry at this, watching as Mr. Wexley leaves out of the front door. Mason and Jake both move closer, dragging me up to stand while Mr. Wexley calls back over his shoulder, though he keeps his voice lowered, “don’t leave visible marks on him that his clothes can’t hide”.

With that, the door snaps shut, leaving me alone and in the hands of two men who have just been ordered to hurt me. I close my eyes and brace myself, trying desperately to think of anything positive –I end up picturing Phil holding me close, like he did an hour ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have a nice day :) I know this is a cliffhanger but the next chapter will be up soon; kudos is appreciated! Thank you again for reading :)


	10. Fall out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil fall out.

(from Phil’s point of view)

After a night spent relaxing with Dan, which for me was just as good as going out again, I’m feeling refreshed as I knock on his door the next morning. It was a pleasant surprise when Dan chose to cuddle up to me on my sofa; and even better that he seemed to enjoy it just as much as me. I’m still stunned by how comfortable we feel around each other; I haven’t felt a connection like this with anyone before. Previous partners I’ve had never wanted to just cuddle up – which is something I now realise I’ve been missing out on.

I knock again on the door when there is no answer, louder this time in case my previous one was too quiet to hear. I sigh and pull my phone out, fearing a repeat of yesterday when Dan suddenly cancelled on me. After sending a short text to Dan, there is still no reply, so I try calling him, becoming agitated and running my hand through my hair, messing it up after so many minutes of making it look good for going out this morning. He doesn’t pick up the phone, so after one last knock I return to my own accommodation, trying not to overthink this – he probably overslept, which is fine; I recall how horribly tired he looked a few days ago.

I sit on my couch and channel hop moodily through my telly, eventually grabbing myself a bowl of cereal, disappointed that I’m not eating with Dan instead, as we had planned. I jump up from my seat when my phone buzzes, rushing over to it and reading a text from Dan flash up, ‘can’t make it today, sorry Phil’. My eyes linger on the words for a long moment before I chuck my phone aside, immediately panicking. I can’t help but wonder if Dan is having second thoughts about us, that’s twice he’s cancelled now.

A knock on the door jolts me out of my spiralling worries, and I rush over to it, half disappointed when it’s Hazel, and not Dan, I open it to. She greets me with a warm smile, not waiting to be invited in but just stepping inside, stating, “thought I’d drop in for a chat”. I smile at this, keen to get some of what I’m feeling off of my chest – I’ve never been good at holding things in. If I was at home and not living at university, I’d go straight to Felix or PJ to offload any stresses, and they’d do the same to me.

“Dan says you two haven’t gone out since your first date”, she says, already getting straight to her point. I frown in confusion, questioning her, “Dan’s been talking to you? He only dropped me _one_ text this morning”. When Hazel doesn’t reply, seemingly waiting for more information, I gesture for her to sit down on the sofa opposite me; I pull up a chair and take a seat too. “He’s cancelled on me twice”, I state, and Hazel immediately replies, “he told me that, but he wouldn’t say why to me”.

“Well”, I explain, “the first time he was upset, and today he didn’t tell me why”. Hazel widens her eyes at me, concern filling her expression, and asks in a hushed volume, “what on earth was he upset about?” I open my mouth to answer, but there’s a quiet, timid knock on my door, one that I recognise. I get up slowly, unsure of what to expect, and pull my door open, forcing a smile at Dan who is standing on the other side. “Can I come in?” He asks politely, and I nod without a word, narrowing my eyes at him as I watch him walk in – there’s something off about him today, and I can’t put my finger on it. He’s walking slower than usual, as if he’s trying to avoid sharp movements; maybe it’s just nerves he’s gathered after cancelling on me without explanation.

Hazel stands up and hugs Dan tightly, who is avoiding my eyes now, just accepting some comfort from her. “Dan, why have you been upset?” She asks as they pull back from the hug – neither Hazel nor I could have predicted Dan’s reaction. He tugs himself away from Hazel, immediately glaring across at me – a mixture of anger and panic in his darkened eyes – “you told people I was upset?” I frown at Dan for a long time, taken aback and confused by him, he is looking at me as if I’ve betrayed him massively. But, I feel betrayed and let down by him too right now.

When I still haven’t spoken, Dan steps closer to me – I see Hazel gawping at the scene unfolding out of the corner of my eye – suddenly snapping, “I came over here to apologise for missing breakfast, but I don’t think I will now!” I raise my eyebrows and step back defensively, but don’t also raise _my_ voice – I’m not angry at Dan, I’m not sure I ever could be – “it’s fine, clearly you had somewhere better to be”.

My words seem to hit Dan like a knife, and I regret them immediately. Dan’s eyes fill up with tears, and he walks out of the room just as slowly as he entered, head lowered, slamming the door shut behind him. “Did I do something wrong there, Hazel?” I ask frustratedly as soon as he’s gone, folding my arms and sitting down with a huff on the couch – I feel horrible now, like I’ve done something wrong, though I know deep down that isn’t the case.

I drop my head in my hands, leaning my elbows on my knees, and hear Hazel sit down next to me, sighing and patting my shoulder, “I’m sorry, Phil, I feel like I caused that”. I shake my head and look across at her, “It wasn’t your fault”. Hazel smiles as she pulls her phone out, saying kindly, “just give it time, yeah? I think you two make a great, strong couple”. I sigh and lean my head on the back of the couch, feeling it dawn on me that I may have just lost any chance with Dan. I sigh loudly as I tear up, allowing Hazel to pull me into a hug, but I notice she is texting on her phone behind my back.

“You’re not texting Dan, are you?” I ask worriedly, unsure if that would be the best right now. Hazel shakes her head, “no. I’ve texted Tom to pop over to see Dan, I think he needs a hug too”. I nod and smile at her gratefully; I don’t want Dan to be upset and on his own, even if he just snapped at me for no good reason. It almost annoys me that I care so much for Dan already, most probably much more than he cares about me – from what I’ve seen this morning.

“Will you give me a game on the xBox?” Hazel asks, getting up from the sofa to grab the controllers; I can tell by her tone it’s not a question I can say no to, so I just nod, pointing her to my pile of games. Hazel is brilliant, and stays with me all morning, cheering me up with pizza, popcorn, and too many games on the xBox. When the afternoon rolls around, however, I insist she leaves, so she can get on with her day, and so that I can go to my lecture. “Thank you for this”, I say as I open the door for her, accepting a final hug, and she nods, “no worries. And don’t fret, okay? Things will be fine”. I hum in response, smiling after her as she leaves. My eyes linger on Dan’s door opposite me for a second before snapping mine shut.

I rush to my bedroom to sort my bag out, keen to go out to my lecture and continue to keep Dan out of my mind. Tom and I meet in the lecture hall; when I ask him about how Dan was he doesn’t answer me properly, only going as far as saying, “he’s quite down, but I think you need to talk to _him_ about this, instead of me”. I sigh and drop it, just focusing on making notes on the lecture and listening to the professor talk about this month’s module.

I have a headache by the time I return to the accommodation, keen to just a grab a coffee and curl up in bed, my mind too tired after a three-hour lecture. I go straight to the kitchen, heart racing when I see Dan standing in front of the microwave, watching his food warm up silently. I take a breath and step into the room, speaking gently and wanting to sort things out as soon as possible, “Dan, can we talk?”

Dan turns to me swiftly, glancing at me and shrugging – he doesn’t look upset like earlier, his face is void of any emotion, which is somehow worse. “Talk about what?” I part my lips to reply but Dan, but he continues talking, “I trusted you, Phil. I let you in and I let you see me vulnerable. But you just told other people about it”. I just look at Dan silently for a long while, but when the microwave beeps behind him and interrupts the silence, I rush to say, “Dan, you’re making this a very big deal, all I said to Hazel was that you were upset. You snapped at me”.

Dan nods at me, “it might not be a big deal to you. It is to me”. I gawp, wordless, as Dan turns away from me to pull his food out of the microwave, but I stand in his way, so he can’t leave yet, questioning, “why did you miss breakfast? Dan, I care. Was something up again?” Dan frowns at me, and I almost gasp audibly at the upsetting devastation that appears in Dan’s eyes as he speaks, eyes on the floor, simply saying, “you don’t understand”.

“Can you help me to understand, then?” I ask, raising my eyebrows and gently rubbing Dan’s shoulder with my hand. Dan finally meets my eyes, swallowing uneasily, and he whispers, looking close to crying, “you’ve really upset me”. My hand drops from his shoulder when he rushes from the kitchen, and I’m too much in shock to move after him – I hate that I’ve somehow made Dan this devastated. It really, really hurts me to see him this way. But I know I’m going to get to the bottom of this, and make it up to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)


	11. I need you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Dan and Phil make up?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Dan's POV! Enjoy!   
> There is description of bruising in this chapter so if you're not okay with that topic be careful :)

(from Dan’s point of view)

I sigh at myself as I stand in front of the mirror in just my boxers, hair still damp from the shower; though those somewhat peaceful sighs turn into tearful whimpers when I experimentally prod at my stomach. The mess of bruises on there, ranging from purple to green, makes me feel nauseous, flinching as I recall how Mason held my wrists behind my back while Jake threw his fist into my tummy over and over again. I trail my fingers down to the few bruises on my thighs, dotting all the way down to my ankles, whining at the soreness. After Jake was done punching my stomach, they let me fall to the ground, and while I was down there they took the opportunity to kick my lifeless legs before leaving swiftly.

Though the thought disgusts me, I’m grateful to Mr. Wexley for ordering Jake and Mason not to harm my face – where I can’t hide it. I don’t know how I’d explain that to my new friends here. I’d have to leave university. My eyes tear up again when Phil crosses my mind – after enduring the night that caused me all this hurt and bruises, the last thing I needed was how Phil reacted. His words, ‘clearly you had somewhere better to be’, haven’t stopped replaying over and over in my mind since he said them. I wasn’t even too annoyed that he told Hazel when I was upset – I just panicked at that, but what really upset me was that he thought I would prefer to be anywhere but with him.

I know how silly it sounds, – I’ve only known him for a week – but it’s true. Besides that, of course I’d rather be anywhere than where I was that night, being held down and beaten up. Yesterday the pain was fresher, so maybe I made a mistake visiting Phil in such an irritable state; I did end up snapping at him. With a loud huff I step away from the bathroom mirror and limp to my bedroom to change, pleased to hide my abused body from myself as well as everyone else.

I have a quiet morning and afternoon, avoiding Tom, Hazel, and Phil by staying in my room and being very careful when I rush out to make food, spending as little time as possible in sight. I’m too embarrassed and ashamed to see any of them today; firstly, I’ve developed a limp, and secondly, I cried in front of Tom. Thanks to Phil, Hazel also knows about me being upset. I can’t handle the thought of them thinking I’m as childish as I’m appearing to be – when I know in reality, not many people could go through what I’ve been through without breaking.

When it comes to night time, I risk a trip to the library, feeling myself losing my mind being cooped up in my room all day. I study for four long hours, getting a head start on some of the course work projects for this term. I let out a sigh of relief when I have finally made it back to my accommodation building without being seen by Tom or Hazel, though I still have to avoid Phil. I scurry up the stairs and to my door, eyes flickering to Phil’s door nervously as I open up my bag to pull my keys out.

I frown when they aren’t in the outer pocket I remember putting them in, searching through my jacket pockets, but not finding them there either. I chuck the contents of my bag onto the floor, feeling myself begin to panic, breathing loud even to my own ears. I curse when I’m unsuccessful in finding them, shoving my things back into my bag and throwing it over my shoulder so I can run back outside and retrace my steps to the library.

I have no luck on the way there, eyes searching the pavement carefully in the dim lighting of the lampposts. After asking the librarian if any keys have been handed in, with no success, I’m forced to slouch back home, reaching my door and sitting down in defeat, back leaning against the wall. I blink away the tears caused by agitating my bruises – they ache and throb horribly from walking around so much, and now from sitting uncomfortably against the hard wall. I chuckle humourlessly at myself and the situation I’m in – how can I manage to spy on people so well, yet not even keep track of my a key? Eventually, I close my eyes with my head resting back against the wall, wishing I could just sleep in my bed; my watch tells me it’s already eleven at night.

I jump and my eyes flash open when the door in front of me is shoved open, and I stare at Phil’s legs as he steps out into the corridor, refusing to give him any eye contact. “Dan?” He says in his soft, deep voice – which only appears at night-time - but I just keep my head down stubbornly, ignoring him when he steps closer. Phil sighs at me, not caring that he’s wearing nothing but boxers and a t-shirt as he sits down next to me, also leaning against the wall, waiting for me to say something.

When I don’t, purposefully looking the opposite way, he asks quietly, “what are you doing sitting out here?” I find myself tearing up yet again, ashamed and feeling stupid as I whisper after a while of silence, “I lost my key”. Phil hums in understanding but doesn’t laugh at me, like I half-expected him to. Instead, he stands up, holding a hand out to me, “you can come and sit on my couch. It’s not comfy out here”. I sigh and finally look up at him, meeting his bright, blue eyes; I detect nothing but genuine care in them, so I nod, but refuse to take his hand, leaning against the wall to help myself up.

I follow Phil with quick steps into his sitting room, hiding my limp with my fast movements before seating myself on the couch carefully, wary of my bruised legs. It’s awkward, for a few seconds, with Phil hovering next to the couch, internally debating whether to sit next to me or not, but he soon asks in one word, “Xbox?” I nod and we both relax slightly, able to focus on working together in a game instead of facing the reality of our recent fallout.

We play for what feels like hours – though in reality it was less than half an hour – soon laughing with each other, playfully insulting each other’s gameplay. When the Xbox is switched off, however, the tone changes, and Phil gives me a small smile, again saying the right thing, “would you like a hot chocolate?”

“Yes, please”, I reply, settling back comfortably when Phil leaves to go to the kitchen. I much prefer Phil’s accommodation to mine – his feels so warming, the family photos and colourful decorations making my plain room look like a prison. This alone made it hard to refuse Phil’s offer to come here, though deep down I know there’s more to it than just the room décor.

Phil soon returns with two creamy hot chocolates in hand, and I take mine gratefully, thanking him and watching over my drink as he sits himself on the sofa next to me, closer than when we played on the xBox, though he keeps a small distance between us. Phil sighs at me as he takes a small sip of his drink, before biting at his lip, and saying with his eyes on mine, “I’m sorry I was mean”. I shrug at this and shake my head, “I’m sorry, I snapped at you too”.

I take a gulp of my warm drink before placing it down on the coffee table, so I can face Phil properly, crossing my legs up on the sofa. “I don’t like it when we fall out”, I whisper, rubbing the back of my neck awkwardly and just speaking my mind, “I think maybe I made a big deal out of nothing. And maybe you deserved a better explanation for me cancelling”. Phil is looking at me blankly, but his body language is relaxed, so I add hopefully, “but maybe.. you didn’t need a better explanation. Maybe you overreacted to?”

I hold my breath as I wait for Phil’s reaction and while he thinks over my words, keeping his eyes on mine but with his mind distant. “You’re right, Dan”, he says gently, his cheeks pinkening when he adds with a small giggle, “honestly, I just didn’t want things to go badly between us. I don’t know how… and I know this is stupidly quick- “. Phil pauses to take a breath, but his eyes remain serious as he continues, “I need you”. I let the breath out that I was holding at this, replying quietly, “and I need you too, Phil”.

Smiling once again, Phil pulls me forward into a tight embrace, hugging me close and letting me rest my cheek on his shoulder. I can think of nothing else but how perfectly we fit together, up until Phil pulls me against him more, squashing my stomach bruises so I let out a choked cry of pain. I mumble a curse under my breath when Phil pulls away, frowning deeply at me, worry burning in his eyes. He stares at me as I tentatively hold my stomach, eyes calculating as he tries to work something out, “are you hurt?”

I gulp at how quickly Phil caught on, instantly answering him, “no”. Phil doesn’t believe me though, gaze stuck on my stomach, “something’s happened, Dan. What’s happened?” His voice is loud and accusatory, so I whimper at him, inwardly panicking – I can’t reveal my secret to anyone. Phil sighs and notices me tensing, but he remains stern as he moves closer, raising his eyebrows as he states firmly, “let me look, Dan”. Something about the way he takes my lower arms – it’s an undeniable dominance - and guides them away from my stomach makes me go pliant under his touch. Though it goes against every thought in my head, I stay perfectly still as Phil slowly lifts my t-shirt, swearing at the pattern of colours scattered on my skin.

“Oh, Dan”, he murmurs; I just watch with wide, fearful eyes as he traces his fingers across my tummy, it would be soothing if I wasn’t so frozen with terror. “It’s okay”, he whispers to me, taking his hands away and lowering my shirt, “who did this to you?” I shake my head at him, lying, “I didn’t know them”. The anger in Phil’s eyes is terrifying to me – but I know it’s not directed at me, it’s directed at the people who hurt me. There’s a huge sense of relief in finally telling someone the truth, even if it’s only some of it. I feel vulnerable, knowing I don’t have to pretend to be okay right now.

“So, did this happen on the street?” Phil asks, and I play with the bottom of my shirt, nodding, and he adds, “you need to tell the police”. I shake my head and shut this down immediately, “no. I just want to forget about this, Phil. I want to move on”. Phil looks disapproving but nods and questions, “can I get you some ice?” I open my mouth to say no but Phil has already rushed out of the room to get the kitchen, leaving me alone to process what’s just happened.

Phil returns incredibly quickly, out of breath. He must have been running. “Lie down”, he says gently, but I shake my head, “I’m fine, Phil”. He raises his eyebrows at this, crouching in front of me and patting my leg, repeating himself sternly, “I said lie down, Daniel”. My breath catches in my throat at this use of my full name, and I can’t help but do as I’m told. Once Phil has pressed the ice against my stomach, which I roll my eyes back at, – the freezing temperature numbing the pain – he gets up onto the couch, and lies down so he’s facing me. Luckily this sofa is a wide one. Even so, our faces are close to touching.

“I’m sorry, Dan”, he speaks gently, still holding the ice gently against me, “I had no idea. This happened the night before yesterday, didn’t it?” I nod my head slowly, unsure how Phil has worked all of this out, but happy to let Phil just take control and look after me. “Is it okay if I sleep here?” I ask, and Phil replies with a serious voice still, “you’re sleeping here whether you like it or not. Now, rest”. I sigh when Phil closes his eyes, surprised that he’s staying out here with me instead of going back to his bed, but very pleased. “I’ll go with you to get a new key tomorrow”, Phil says, and I smile at his face, unable to hold back from leaning in to place a soft kiss on his cheek, whispering “thank you”. Phil keeps his eyes closed but his lips curve upwards into a small smile, his hand that isn’t holding the ice against me moving up to my shoulder and resting there. We fall asleep like this; though my legs are sore, and I’ve developed a headache from the stress, hearing Phil tell me he needs me as much as I need him has made everything else unimportant. At least for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave a comment and tell me what you think, I'm enjoying writing this story :)


	12. The beautiful person holding me close.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Marzia come to visit, and Dan turns up at Phil's door drunk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is from Phil's POV, enjoy! :) Next chapter will be up soon.

(from Phil’s POV)

I wake up to a freezing hand, opening my eyes in confusion when I lift it up in front of my face to see it’s dripping wet. As my mind finally wakes up when I look across at Dan right in front of me, smiling at his peaceful, sleeping expression. I recall getting the ice for Dan and pull the ice pack from between us, being careful when I have to rub it against his poor stomach. Nausea washes over me when I think of how hurt Daniel is, it makes me angry to think of anyone wanting to injure him. I badly want to call the police and make sure the people who did this to him on the street get what they deserve – jail time – but I have to respect Dan’s wishes. He wants to avoid that stress.

Despite only knowing Dan for a week, I can’t help but feel incredibly protective over him – I’ve never felt like this before. I sigh and stand up, chucking the ice pack in the bin and grabbing a towel from my bathroom to quietly mop up the wet patch on the couch, luckily avoiding waking Dan up. I rush to my room and pull on some jeans, pulling out a clean t-shirt for Dan to borrow and placing it aside, before quickly going to the kitchen, hoping Dan will stay asleep.

I make us both eggs on toast and a coffee, and when I return Dan is stirring, sitting up with a small smile. I notice him whimper when he tenses his stomach muscles, but I don’t comment on it, placing the food and drinks down before handing the dry shirt to him. “Thank you”, he says tiredly, immediately pulling his top off – I’m pleased to see his bruises look less swollen, but the dark colours still look awful. When Dan notices me staring with a tense jaw, I relax my face and force a smile, walking over to him once he has my shirt on to kiss his forehead gently, “eat up, beautiful”. My words are somewhat stern, but I feel like that’s what Dan needs at the moment – someone to look after him and make sure he takes care of himself.

I pick up my food and Dan does the same, sitting next to me and eating contently, in a comfortable silence. When he finishes I pass him his mug of coffee to save him having to leaning over and hurting his tummy again, asking a question that’s been weighing on my mind for a while. “Is it just your stomach that’s bruised?”

I sigh when Dan shakes his head, “my legs too”. I look at him worriedly, but he gives me a wide smile, reassuring me, “I’m fine, Phil. I’ll get over it”. I marvel at how brave Dan is, moving my hand to the back of his head and stroking his hair; he leans into the touch and breathes deeply, but we both jump when my phone rings shrilly. I pick it up quickly, muttering an apology to Dan as I look down at the screen, opening the text up. It’s from Felix – I had completely forgotten he and Marzia were coming to visit this weekend: ‘just stopping at a service station and we’ll be there in half an hour’.

I turn to Dan and explain, “some friends from home are coming over today, would you like to stay? It should be fun, we can play some games and maybe go out for lunch” My stomach bubbles with excitement at the idea of Dan meeting Felix and Marzia – I know they’ll love him. I didn’t expect Dan to agree, but he nods his head, sipping at his coffee before saying, “I’d like to, yeah. And thank you for breakfast”.

“That’s okay”, I smile, picking up our plates and rushing off to the kitchen to wash them.

By the time Dan has used my shower and borrowed a pair of my jeans – luckily we’re both the same size, as we still haven’t sorted Dan’s room key out - Felix and Marzia are ringing the front doorbell. Dan and I leave my room, and while we go down the stairs, he questions, “are you sure it’s okay that I hang out with you guys?” I nod my head quickly, chuckling, “Dan, they love meeting new people, they’re lovely. You’ll see”.

Dan smiles but doesn’t have the chance to reply before I rip the front door open, immediately engulfed in a tight hug by Marzia. I grin at Felix behind her, “hey, guys”. Once I’ve awkwardly shaken Felix’s hand*, I step back and look to Dan, “this is Felix and Marzia”, I then turn to them and add, “this is Dan. He lives opposite me”. Felix and Marzia smile welcomingly, and Marzia actually pulls Dan into a hug, “it’s nice to meet you, Dan! I’m glad Phil has someone to keep him company and away from his study books _all_ the time”. I tut, making Dan giggle softly, arguing, “hey, university is meant for studying and working!”

We all go inside and spend a few hours on the Xbox; I’m pleasantly surprised by how well Dan gets on with them both, he slips into our group naturally. “Shall we go down to the pub for some food then?” I ask a lunchtime rolls around. Felix and Marzia agree, but Dan doesn’t reply, jumping when his phone buzzes from his bag, which is slung on the floor on the opposite side of the room. I’m sure I see the colour rush from Dan’s face, but he turns away before I can be sure, muttering, “let me check that”. Felix and Marzia are giggling and cuddling cutely on the sofa but I can’t stop watching Dan with worry. Why does he always react weirdly when he gets something as simple as a text?

Once Dan has checked his phone he sighs and I watch him put it away in his bag, “I’m sorry. I have to go now, but it was lovely meeting you two”. I nibble on my lip nervously as he hugs Felix and Marzia goodbye, before rushing over to me and holding his arms out for a hug as well. I hold him close, whispering so Felix and Marzia can’t hear, “everything okay?”

Dan nods and hums in response, giving me a small smile when I peck his forehead, face reddening as Marzia squeals at us excitedly. I let Dan go reluctantly and watch him leave, bag slung over his shoulder and still wearing my jeans and top, but I don’t mind. “Let’s go then”, I state, and we all head out of the room. My stomach rumbles audibly, and I can’t help but hope that Dan will eat while he is out doing whatever it is he has to do. “So was he your hook up in fresher’s week?” I frown and widen my eyes at Felix’s question, laughing shortly, “do you realise I’m thirty next year? I’m too old for that”.

Felix chuckles at me, “you two haven’t had sex yet?” I almost trip on the pavement at Felix’s words, “no!” I giggle to myself and add, “but we have slept together”. Marzia grins widely at me, and Felix laughs loudly, complimenting, “he’s so cute”, to which I respond, smirking, “I know”.

-

Later that night, after Felix and Marzia have left, I assume that Dan must have gone to get his key and be back at his place, as I haven’t heard from him. However, I’m proven wrong when there is a knock on my door. I open it to Dan, who I frown at for a few seconds before working out that he’s been drinking, wobbling slightly and leaning against my doorway. “What have you been doing?” I whisper, stepping backwards to let him walk past me, and he replies loudly, “I forgot about my key”. His words are slurred, and I can’t help but chuckle, but I’m still worried – why has he gone out and gotten drunk?

“I can go to reception and sort your key now”, I say gently, reaching for my own key on the side, but Dan grabs at my arm clumsily, pouting at me adorably, “no, stay. Kiss me instead”. I gasp and widen my eyes when he suddenly presses himself against me, gripping at my hips and pressing his lips to mine clumsily. I moan in pleasure against him, kissing back at first, dragging his bottom lip between mine. But, I know this is wrong. It isn’t fair to take advantage of Dan when he’s under the influence of alcohol. I don’t want him to regret anything in the morning. “No. We can do this tomorrow”, I say, pulling away, holding his chin away from me when he attempts to lean in again.

“But-“, Dan argues, reminding me of a kid who’s being denied sweets, so I hold his shoulders firmly, “sweetheart, stop”. Dan freezes at my stern voice, his cheeks pinkening as he seems to take a moment to realise what he’s doing. He forcefully pulls me into a hug, suddenly speaking quietly into my ear, “I didn’t want to leave you and Marzia and Felix today, but I had to”. I scowl with confusion when Dan continues, “then I had to drink to stop the nerves”.

“Dan?” I ask carefully, “what were you nervous about?” Dan lifts his head off of my shoulder and meets my eyes, replying, “not nervous. Just scared, that I’d be hurt again”.

“Oh, Dan”, I whisper – finally understanding, he’s scared of being hurt by strangers – and rub his back softly, “I won’t let anyone hurt you again”. Dan laughs bitterly, “you can’t stop them”. I sigh at him, knowing he’s right, but add, “it won’t happen again, Dan, you just had really bad luck”. Dan’s holding so tightly onto my hips now that it hurts as he tries to balance himself, so I lead him through to my room, lying him down on my bed – he needs more than an uncomfortable sleep on the couch tonight.

Dan closes his eyes as soon as his head touches the pillow, so I gently pull his shoes off, pulling the duvet over him, turning around to leave him to sleep. However, he calls sleepily after me, “stay?” I sigh and go back to my bed, happy to lie down next to Dan, letting him wrap his arms around my torso and bury his head into my chest. I force all of the worry out of my system and just look contentedly down at the beautiful person holding me close, grateful to have him even if things have to be complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *let me know if you get the awkward handshaking with pewdiepie reference. If not, watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkSWwanJPOI


	13. Smooth sailing.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil are getting along well...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy! :)

(from Dan’s point of view)

“Morning”. I frown at the familiar, but unusually gruff, voice next to me, slowly rising from sleep, eyes fluttering open in the bright light beaming through the window. I automatically smile when I see it’s Phil next to me, watching me with his head leant on his hand, his other arm resting on my torso. “Hi”, I say back, blushing at my croaky, rough voice. I can’t take my tired gaze off of Phil’s face now I’ve started looking – somehow, he looks beautiful in the morning, pale skin clear and blue orbs glowing. My eyes widen, however, when small memories of last night rush at me – kissing Phil, getting into bed with him…

“What did we do last night? Did we do something?” I question hurriedly, sitting up in a sudden movement though it makes my head spin. Phil chuckles at me, understanding my worry, but replies immediately, “we didn’t do anything, Dan. I didn’t let you”. I sigh with relief and rest my head on my knees, whispering a quiet “thank you”. I’m grateful that Phil didn’t take advantage of me, though not surprised. I giggle quietly as I add, covering my face, “was I embarrassing?”

“No!” Phil states firmly, and I flinch when he sits up, wrapping an arm around my side, playing with the hem of my shirt. I try to relax when he slowly lifts my shirt, revealing the slowly healing bruises still marking my skin. “Don’t”, I say quietly, sighing but allowing him to soothingly stroke my stomach. “It’s ugly”, I whisper, bowing my head shamefully. Phil frowns at me and I grin when he snaps, “nothing about you could ever be ugly”. He leans down and presses his lips to my bruises pointedly, before getting up off the bed. My body is left feeling cold when his touch leaves me. “Breakfast?”

“Yes, please”, I respond, “but I’ll help this time”. Phil shakes his head at me, smirking and almost bouncing out of the room with excitement, “no, because I’m making you a surprise! Please stay there! You need to rest!” It still shocks me, and I struggle to believe why Phil cares so much about me; from that first time he got me a sandwich, to now, when he’s made me breakfast for the last few mornings. He even put up with me coming over to his place drunk last night.

I shudder at that thought – I should have just come straight back to Phil’s instead of drinking, after doing that small spy job. It was an awful few hours though; Mason’s text told me the restaurant to go to and which group of men to watch. I had to sit in the restaurant, making notes on them and secretly taking photos of this group, with a plate of food in front of me, which I felt too sick to eat because of nerves. After this ordeal, the waitress had approached me, taking in my stressed state, and offering me a drink. I just didn’t have the strength to say no; at any time, I could have been caught spying on them and hurt again. I hardly remember the rest of the night; I’m surprised I don’t have a hangover.

That doesn’t matter right now though, I remind myself: Phil is here, and I can focus on him. As if on queue, Phil bursts through the door, moving so quickly he almost drops the two plates in his hands, “pancakes!”, he sings out, smiling widely at me. I gawp and my mouth waters at the syrup and strawberries, and I take my plate from Phil, but put it on the bed immediately, overwhelmed by his kindness. “You made me pancakes specially?”

Phil nods and laughs slightly, “well, I may have bought the batter, but –“ I interrupt Phil by tugging him into a tight hug, whispering, “you’re so amazing”. Phil pulls back and softly pecks my lips, “you are too, Dan”. His eyes widen as he remembers something, sitting us both down on the bed to eat up, “let’s get your key sorted after breakfast”. I nod but can’t help the slight feeling of disappointment inside – I wouldn’t mind just living here with Phil. I shake my head at myself and shove the delicious pancakes into my mouth. Of course Phil wouldn’t want that.

\- 2 weeks later -

The next few weeks run smoothly, aside from the daily – sometimes twice a day - spying jobs I’m forced to do; there are no nasty incidents. Phil and I have grown closer, having had six dates now – and there’s been a lot of cuddling and kissing on movie nights, which in honesty, has been every night. However, the university work side of things has been suffering, and I’m unsure if Phil can tell. I’ve had to miss a few lectures, but Phil thinks I study for hours and hours because it’s the excuse I use to go out and spy.

“Are you ready for exams?” Phil questions as we sit together on his sofa, limbs tangled as we cuddle. I lift my head from his shoulder, answering honestly, “not really. There’s so much to get done”.

“Have you revised enough?” He continues, eyebrows raising. I sigh and begin fiddling with Phil’s knee; Phil is a very work-orientated person, he studies at least four hours a day, even when he has lectures. It’s embarrassing how little I’ve done compared to him. “I’ve done some”, I mumble, resting my head on his neck to hide my face somewhat childishly. “Do some for me now?” Phil asks, but I immediately shake my head, arguing, “but we’re cuddling”. I lean in to kiss him on the lips, but he pulls away, “hey, you know I love our cuddles. But you can have a cuddle –“ He pauses to teasingly run a finger over my lips, “- and a kiss, when you’ve studied for an hour”.

I huff but stand up, knowing Phil’s right, but before I go back to my room to grab my books, I question, “can I do it in here?”

“Of course”, Phil answers, aware by now that I much prefer his place to mine. I return with my arms stacked with textbooks, smiling gratefully when Phil immediately takes them from me and lays them out on the table. I sit down with a deep breath, finding a black page to write on; whilst I arrange my pens Phil threads his fingers through my hair, stroking me for a few seconds, comforting me, before leaving me to focus.

An hour later and I’ve surprised myself by getting plenty of notes done, for once neatly written. I jump up from my seat, rushing over to find Phil sitting on the sofa on his laptop with his headphones in. I pull the laptop off of his lap impatiently, tugging his earphones out and moving them out of the way. “Oh, hello you”, Phil chuckles as I straddle him, “how did your studying go?”

I just mumble, “good”, before moving straight in to kiss Phil’s lips, sighing in relief when he kisses me back, hands coming to rest on my lower back. One of his hands moves down to stroke my ass – this is the first time Phil has touched me there – but I just moan quietly, not complaining and stroking my palms over his chest. When I try to push Phil to lie down on his back, he makes me jump by tackling me backwards, so I land on my own back; he’s now straddling me. “Hey! I’m in charge”, he says sternly, his words causing me to whimper “Phil” quietly, something new inside me tingling. Phil raises his eyebrows at me, catching on instantly, “you like that? You like me in charge?”

I nod breathlessly; I was unaware of this myself, up until now. My eyes roll back when Phil drags his crotch against mine, shocking me so my mouth falls open. “Fuck”, I whisper, grinding my hips back against Phil’s harder. He leans down, and I shudder with pleasure when he whispers, “you want me to tell you what to do?”

“Mhmm”, I grunt in reply, nodding desperately and leaning up to kiss at Phil’s beautiful face above me. However, we spring apart when there is a knock at the door, and both of us glare at it. Phil gives me a final kiss on the cheek before making his way slowly to the door, opening it to a loud Hazel and Tom. I sit up and sigh with annoyance, trying to cool myself down and de-crumpling my shirt. Hazel’s excited voice calls across the room, “let’s go out and have some fun, guys! Exams start next week!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look forward to some upcoming not so PG content :)


	14. Untouched.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three words: Finally some smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning I guess :)

(from Phil’s POV)

Tom, Hazel, Dan and I decide to just go to the pub down the road, ordering a meal and drinks – though I notice Hazel looks like she’s already had a few drinks today. “So how are you two getting on?” Tom asks as soon while the waiter places our food down, both him and Hazel staring at us intently as I answer. “Very well”, I say with a pleased smile, moving my arm to wrap it around Dan’s torso. He moves his hand to hold mine and we try to ignore Hazel and Tom’s loud “aww!” as we lean in for a short kiss, lips barely touching.

“And how have you been feeling, Dan?” I feel Dan flinch next to me at Tom’s question – the alcohol seems to have ridden Tom of any sensitivity. “Better”, Dan replies shortly, and I glance at him; he’s always so quick to run away from the subject of how he is doing. I stroke Dan’s hip soothingly, murmuring quietly to him, “I hope you _are_ better”. He just smirks in return, gently picking my arm up and giving it back, “I am!” He sighs and turns to everyone, “Hazel and I have this weird professor on Mondays, Mr. Nelson, and he acts like he keeps vodka in his bottle instead of water”.  Hazel giggles loudly and stands up, doing an impression of this funny professor, but my eyes are too drawn to Dan’s smile, and the way he giggles, to look at anything else properly. Seeing Dan happy is all I want, and all I need from him at this point in our relationship. Though the amount of secrecy Dan has from me hurts – he never tells me the truth about what’s upset him – I understand that I have to build up trust before he wants to tell me anything.

After we’ve all eaten we move to the bar and order a few rounds of drinks – but I soon notice Dan looking exhausted and as if he’ll drop off to sleep any second, his current drink left untouched. I often hear him in and out of his room a few times at night – but Dan has strange sleeping habits anyway, so I don’t question him. While Hazel and Tom are distracted by the lady behind the bar, I lean over to Dan, feeling tipsy myself and resting my hand on his shoulder.

“You want to go?” I whisper into his ear, widening my eyes in surprise when Dan flinches, his back straightening comically. When he looks at me I recognise his expression immediately. “Don’t whisper in my ear like that, Phil!” He hisses, and I chuckle, deepening my voice purposefully and standing up, placing my hands on his hips and whispering in his ear again, “why? Is it sexy?”

Dan giggles but turns to glare at me, his eyes pleading. “I want you”, I say simply, feeling myself get into the same state I was earlier, straddling Dan on my couch. “Let’s go, then”, Dan states, adding quietly, “please”. I nod and move back so Dan can stand and pull his jacket on, addressing Tom and Hazel, “we’re both going to get to bed and sleep now, you two”. Hazel laughs at us, making me jump, “ _sleep_. Sure! Have fun boys”. I sigh but neither of us bother arguing, practically jogging out of the pub hand in hand.

As soon as we reach my room and I’ve swung my door open, I waste no time in shoving Dan against the wall, though not too hard to hurt him. Dan lets out a small moan at my hands holding his hips tightly against the wall. I moan in turn, dropping my head to kiss at his neck, sticking my tongue out occasionally to taste his skin. Dan wriggles and writhes against me – the feeling of power I have over him is something I’ve never experienced before now. In the few, previous relationships I’ve had I never imagined myself as dominant. But with Dan, it comes so naturally, and the best thing is that he seems to enjoy it too.

We groan in unison when our jean-covered crotches touch, and I immediately begin grinding against Dan, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the wall for a moment, letting out a long groan, “fuck”. Dan turns his head to the side, bumping his crotch into mine still but moving his face to mine, his eyes closed but searching for my lips. I grunt and grant him what he wants, letting our lips bash together. I experiment by gently pulling at Dan’s bottom lip with my teeth; when this earns the loudest moan yet, I continue to bite at his lip harshly as we kiss, pushing my tongue into Dan’s mouth when he widens it enough, allowing me in. He whimpers, widening his jaw when my tongue slides in and out, and I chuckle, pulling away for a second. “You look like you know what it’s like to have things in your mouth, Daniel”. Dan rolls his eyes, hips stuttering – it’s only when he pants and moans brokenly, head tipping back, that I realise his eyes were rolling back in pleasure, not annoyance. I raise my eyebrows at Dan’s spent expression, lowering my eyes to his now-still crotch briefly, before questioning, “Dan, did you just -?”

Dan breathes deeply and leans his head on my shoulder, whispering, “yes. Fuck, sorry”. I rub Dan’s back, a sense of pride falling over me as I realise I just made Dan orgasm untouched. I’m happy to forget about my own problem straining against my jeans, so I shake my head when Dan suddenly reaches between our bodies, sluggishly moving it towards my hard member. I hold his wrist, “no, Dan, you’re too tired”. He pouts at me, but I can tell he agrees, kissing my cheek briefly before rushing to my bathroom to clean himself up. I sit on the couch tiredly, and when Dan shakily exits the bathroom he joins me, curling up at my side and leaning against me.

“I’m sorry I didn’t finish you off”, he murmurs, but I shake my head, rubbing his back, “it was amazing for me just to make you orgasm”. Dan blushes at my words; I watch as his eyes suddenly focus on my coffee table, questioning, “what are you looking at?” I frown when he replies, voice gone quiet, “I haven’t checked my phone all night”.

“And what’s wrong with that?” Dan doesn’t seem to take in my voice, leaning forwards to grab his phone, unlocking it and turning the screen away from me. His fingers are trembling, so I rub his thigh gently, chewing my lip in confusion, “Dan? Talk to me, sweetie”.

“I’m so sorry”, he says abruptly, finally looking at me – there’s something off about his eyes - “I have to go, okay?” I widen my eyes, surprised and upset that he wants to leave so quickly after what we’ve done tonight. I don’t say anything to him as he walks out, allowing him to leave – what is he hiding from me? Since I’ve met him he’s had to leave without explanation on many occasions. I can’t help but worry massively about him – I have a bad feeling about how nervous he gets.

With a sigh, and to distract myself, I sit down at my desk to do some notes, chuckling bitterly: at least Dan leaving like he did has stopped the desperate, horny desire I had for him to touch me. After studying for a while I go to bed, only managing to shut my eyes before there is a noise outside that wakes me right back up. I strain to listen to the muffled sound I can hear coming from the corridor, but the noise is soon joined by a knock. I rush out of bed, uncaring that I’m only wearing boxers, and rush to open my front door, finding Dan as I expected, but he is fully dressed. At 2 AM. I didn’t expect him to be sobbing heartily either, collapsing against me weakly and hugging me close.

His body is shaking against me, and I wrap my arms around him, gently guiding him further in so I can shut the door. “Did I wake you?” He asks, sentence broken up by sobs and hardly understandable. “That doesn’t matter”, I whisper, trying hard to hide how scared I am right now. I’m terrified that someone has hurt Dan again, like before. I search his bare neck and arms, and try to assess his body with my eyes for bruises. Though I can’t see under his t-shirt or jeans, there doesn’t seem to be any.

“What’s happened?” I ask, sighing when Dan just continues to cry, adding, “baby? Talk to me?” Dan just won’t reply to me, so I just offer, “do you want to come and sleep with me tonight?” Dan nods quickly, and I peel him off me, still holding him and leading him to my room, tucking him into my bed once he’s lying down. I lie next to him and hold him close, threading my hand into his hair and stroking slowly. Dan doesn’t stop crying for hours, soaking my shoulder with his tears; I wish he would tell me what’s going on but I won’t push it. Not now. However, I do decide that I’m going to find out the truth in the morning, no matter what. I won’t allow him to act like this didn’t happen tomorrow morning, like I’m sure he’ll want to.


	15. And you're mine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan had a horrible night. Can Phil make it all better? Of course he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter does begin with a scene where Dan has his life threatened, nothing graphic, but if you don't want it, you can skip the part in italics. The rest is just fluff :)

(from Dan’s point of view)

_My body is frozen against the cool bricks pressing into my back. I don’t dare to move; the sharp blade held against my throat serves as a silent warning. “Make a noise and I’ll kill you”. I whimper at the man with the darkened face in front of me, holding both of my wrists against the wall by my side, while the leader of the group holds the knife to my throat. “I think I should cut your face up. Teach Wexley a lesson.”_

_“No”, I plead, closing my eyes, petrified as I feel the blade trace up to my cheek, close to breaking the skin, “Mr. Wexley won’t care. He doesn’t care about me”. I can’t see who with my eyes closed, but someone huffs in front of me, speaking slowly, “luckily for you, I believe you. Give me that notebook of yours and you can live”. I blindly hold my book out, still too terrified to open my eyes, my lips trembling. I flinch when a hand meets mine to snatch the book, ice cold fingers making me shiver. “You’re lucky it’s only me that found you. Some of my colleagues would not have let this go”. I nod slowly, listening closely as the two men leave me, waiting for their footsteps to disappear before I dare to wrap my arms around myself._

_I sigh shakily in slight relief, opening my eyes; I panic when all I can see is darkness. I begin to breathe too quickly as I turn my head left and right, but still, everything is black. All of the breath leaves my system, and I hyperventilate, using my last breath to let out a shrill scream._

“Dan. Dan!” I jolt awake at the voice above me, sitting straight up and panting as I realise I’ve gained my vision back. I look around the room I’m in wildly. When my eyes finally settle on Phil I gasp, collapsing against him and hugging him tightly, still whimpering quietly.

“It’s okay”, Phil soothes gently, rubbing my back, “you’re awake now. It was just a dream, Dan”. I begin crying weakly at this – because even though that _was_ a dream, it _was_ real. It happened, last night. Phil holds me close for a few minutes, just rocking me back and forth, and I whimper pitifully into his shoulder. He eventually speaks, “do you suffer from nightmares often?”

“No”, I shake my head, pulling away from him sluggishly and taking some deep breaths, attempting to calm myself down. I meet his eyes, which instantly have a relaxing effect on me. He gives me a reassuring bright smile, taking my hand and squeezing it in his warm one. But what he says next makes me panic again, “Dan, listen. I need to know the truth about all of this, now”.

“You already kn-“, I argue, but Phil interrupts me, shaking his head seriously, “no, Dan. I can _not_ deal with the secrecy. Tell me now, please”. I widen my eyes as Phil’s words sink in – he needs to know the truth from me. I can see a small amount of annoyance in his eyes, and it scares me; I don’t want to push him away. “Okay”, I whisper. I have to give Phil answers, at least some. It’s not fair to make him stressed like this. I lift my face to the ceiling as I speak, eyes refilling with tears, “my parents left me, Phil. I haven’t seen them, or even spoken to them –“ I have to pause to work out how long it’s actually been, “a year. More than a year”. I lower my head; when I see Phil’s eyes have also filled with tears I flinch in surprise, but add in a close-to-silent voice, “fuck, Phil. I miss them so much”.

I let out another small sob when Phil quickly pulls me close again, tracing his fingers over me soothingly, whispering into my ear, “baby, I’m sorry”. I nod and hug Phil back, rubbing his back too. “This must be so hard for you. And it must be so difficult to tell me. But thank you for talking to me, everything makes sense now. And you have me now, I’ll be here for you”. I close my eyes in disbelief: what did I do to deserve this man?

“Is there no way you can contact them?” Phil questions me; I just shake my head shortly, pleased when Phil drops the subject. “Do you feel up to letting me take you out for breakfast?” I lighten up massively at this – pleased by the subject change. “That sounds really nice”. I giggle tearfully when Phil leans in and pecks my lips, tenderly stroking my cheek, “let’s get changed then”.

-

A short while later, we’re sitting at a table for two in a restaurant eating breakfast, thankfully no longer talking about this morning. I hope that now the air has been cleared, we can put the negativity behind us – at least Phil can – and we can move forward, together.

“Don’t call for the bill yet, Dan, I need to ask you something”. I widen my eyes, flooded with nerves again – I thought I’d answered all of Phil’s questions. He chuckles lightly at me when he notices my face lose colour, taking my hand over the table, “you know I think you’re amazing, right?”

I blush madly at this, replying weakly, “I do now”. Phil leans forward slightly, squeezing at my hand as if he is also slightly nervous. “Well. I’d like to be able to call you my boyfriend?” Phil’s words come out so suddenly that I’m shocked – I’ve imagined these words coming from Phil’s mouth for a while now. Everyone else in the room is forgotten, and I rush around the table, pulling Phil into a tight hug and pressing my lips to his, answering too loudly, “yes!” Phil smiles widely, his hand stroking down my cheek, while I frown, feeling overwhelmed by the events of the last two days. I’ve gone from having my life threatened, to this, in less than twenty-four hours. “Wow”, I whisper, breathing deeply and leaning my head tiredly against Phil’s hand.

“What?” he asks; we both sit back down at the table, and I respond shyly, “wow. You’re my boyfriend”. Phil chuckles fondly at me, “and you’re _mine_ ”. He taps his fingers on the wooden table, likely getting rid of his nervous energy, and adds, “I do have another question, actually. You can say no, and I know it’s really soon”.

“Go on, ask”, I push, and Phil explains, “I’m going home this weekend. To see my mum. I want you to come with me. We have a spare room. I don’t know the next time I’ll be able to get you to meet her –“ I interrupt Phil’s rambling, giggling at him; I’m pleasantly surprised that Phil really wants me to meet his mum. I’d love to be able to just answer ‘yes’, but I know I can’t. I’ll have to ask Mr. Wexley if I can leave, even if it’s only for two days. Phil notices my face dropping, tapping my hand on the table, and I rush to say, forcing a smile, “I’d love to, Phil, I really would. But I don’t know if I have something on. I’ll let you know as soon as I can, I promise. Thank you for inviting me”.

“That’s good enough for me!” Phil says, optimistic as ever, before raising his hand and calling for the bill. Phil insists on paying, and I grudgingly let him, even though at the start we had agreed to take turns – he paid the last two times as well. We’re soon back at our accommodation after a peaceful walk home, hand in hand, and Phil kisses my cheek goodbye, “I’m going to be revising all day, but will you come over tonight?”

“Of course I will”, I giggle; Phil knows as well as I how much I love being at Phil’s place rather than mine. A mixture of painful nerves and excitement bubbles inside me as Phil leaves me to enter his room, calling back a sweet, “see you soon, boyfriend”, as he goes. On the bright side, I have a full four days to ask Mr. Wexley whether this weekend will be possible. But, on top of that, I’ll have to break the news to him that I didn’t get any notes on my last job – due to almost being killed. I just have to hope that when they come over to collect my notes, they are in a good mood.

I return to my room with a small smile; Phil Lester is now my boyfriend, and that alone - right now at least - is enough to keep me from feeling too afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if anyone was waiting too long for this, but here it is! :) Thank you for reading if you got this far :) I'd love to hear comments on what you think


	16. I know exactly where I want to be now.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan asks Mr. Wexley if he can have the weekend off to go to Phil's mom house with Phil. Surely nothing bad can come out of that?

(Phil’s point of view)

When I wake up I automatically smile – recognising the feeling of Dan in my arms. We’re snuggled up under a blanket on my couch, after falling asleep in front of a movie last night. I rub Dan’s upper arm gently with one hand, playing with his hair with the other, whilst being careful not to wake him.

I didn’t think it was possible, but since our conversation yesterday – where Dan told me the truth about his parents – I like him even more. He must be the strongest person I know. I don’t know anyone else who could deal with losing their parents so abruptly (they left the country) like Dan has. I raise my eyebrows and breathe out softly as I realise something: I’m falling for Dan, fast. I’ve never ‘fallen’ for someone before; my other, few, relationships have felt casual compared to this.

I’m jolted from my thoughts when something buzzes from across the room – I recognise it as Dan’s phone. I sigh and look to the time on my watch, 8 AM, hating to wake Dan up so early when I know neither of us have lectures this morning. Though, I’ve noticed one of Dan’s traits is that he gets annoyed at missing texts, unreasonably annoyed. I lean up on my forearm and kiss down Dan’s neck gently, groaning quietly at his sweet scent, and murmur against his soft skin, “morning”. When Dan just frowns cutely, arm coming over his eyes to block out the daylight filtering through my window, I add, “baby, your phone’s buzzing”. Dan looks confused for a few seconds as he takes in my words, but he soon sits up comically fast, rushing across the room on his wobbly legs and giggling slightly at me when I pat his bum, warning him, “don’t fall over!”

Dan sighs as he fishes his phone from his bag, looking at the screen for only a brief moment before slinging his bag over his shoulder and jogging to my door. He barely looks back as he leaves, calling behind him, “Thank you for letting me sleep here, see you later, Phil!” I smirk at this; he never seems to realise I enjoy having him here just as much as he does. I’m always shocked at how suddenly Dan leaves, but I guess that’s just another one of his strange personality traits.

After breakfast and a strong coffee, I recall I promised my mum a phone call, so I dial her number and lie back on my bed, grinning stupidly as I wait for her to pick up. She doesn’t have a chance to greet me once she does, as I announce excitedly down the phone, “I have a boyfriend!” There’s a brief pause on the other side, followed by a high-pitched squeal of happiness, “Phil! Tell me all about him!”

-

(Dan’s point of view)

I sit nervously on my couch and stare at the text I received while at Phil’s – from Jake. ‘Coming over to collect your notes now’. I’m always nervous for giving Jake or Mason my notes – but this time, I have no notes to give. I don’t know how I’m going to explain this to these horrible men; they won’t have any sympathy for my life being threatened. No excuse will be good enough for me failing a job. I know if they get angry they’re going to hurt me again, and my bruises have only just healed.

Much different to how it was before, I’m more worried for Phil’s reaction than any pain. I can deal with the pain. But I hate when Phil worries for me – he looks like the sort of person to make himself ill from worrying too much about those close to him.

When there is a knock on the door, I walk to it with clenched fists, in an effort to hide my trembling fingers. I let Jake in – who, fortunately for me, seems in a lighter mood than usual. He is simply wearing a shirt and jeans rather than a suit, which is a lot less intimidating. However, he frowns over his sunglasses as soon as he notices my empty hands, and I rush to explain, “I don’t have the notes. I’m sorry. They caught me, and they put a knife to my throat”. I tear up at the memory, bottom lip tremoring as I wait for Jake’s reaction. He takes his glasses off and fiddles with them in his hands, staring into my eyes as if searching for any dishonesty. To my delightful surprise, Jake sighs calmly and leans back against the wall, “same happened to me last week when I met with those men. Just don’t let it happen again, okay?” In shock, I nod silently, trying hard not to smile in immense relief.

Jake nods back and reaches for the door handle, but I recall there is something I need to do before he leaves, “wait”. His eyebrows raise, and he listens to me with interest as I explain – knowing I’ll almost surely regret this later – “can I go away this weekend? Please?” Jake chuckles at me darkly, and I shiver as an evil smirk grows on his face, “I don’t have the authority to answer that, Howell. But, luckily for you, Mr. Wexley is just outside!” I gasp audibly at this, my petrified state returning, and don’t even try to fight when Jake grabs my forearm painfully tight, pulling me out of my room and into the corridor. I blush when we walk past a young student making their way back to their room with a coffee, attempting to hide my face; what on earth will she think of this?

We stop at a car with blacked out windows and I’m shoved into the back seat, groaning quietly when my elbow is whacked against the metal of the car sharply. Mason sits in the driver’s seat, watching me in the front mirror with interest. A shiver moves up my spine when Mr. Wexley turns in the passenger seat; he definitely scares me more than Jake or Mason ever could. Jake opens Mr. Wexley’s door to whisper something to him quickly; I rub at my knees just to give my jittery hands something to do. Mr. Wexley’s stare doesn’t leave me. Once Jake is in the car, next to me on the back seat, Mr. Wexley finally speaks. “What is it you’re asking for then, Howell?”

“Just the weekend”, I respond meekly, lowering my eyes but moving them quickly back up to meet Mr. Wexley’s when he snaps angrily, “so. Not only do you want me to let you off for getting caught, losing information, and corrupting _my_ business. But you also want a free weekend. Is that correct?”

“That’s correct, Sir”, I whisper, jumping when the engine roars to a start, and the car begins moving. I can’t see this day ending in any way other than pain. However, Mr. Wexley gives me a small smirk, replying, “fine”, before turning back to face the front window. I don’t trust his answer, so I stare at his eyes in the mirror, “sir?” I don’t dare to look out of the windows to see where we’re going. “You can have the weekend off. If you do a job for me now”. I sit silently and Jake hands a small parcel to me; my stomach sinks as Mr. Wexley explains, “ask the man behind the counter for three hundred”.

Mr. Wexley had asked me to make deliveries like this for him in the past, but I had begged and refused him, so he only gave me spying jobs. I know how very illegal this is. My fingers shake and I try to open up the parcel in my hands to look inside, but Mr. Wexley shakes his head, “no looking. Don’t worry, Howell. There’s nothing life-threatening in there”. This does nothing to calm me, and I shake my head as the car comes to a stop. We are outside a pub I don’t recognise; when I don’t move quick enough, Jake shoves my shoulder, so I stuff the parcel into my bag, rushing out of the car and to the pub. I’m relieved to see the inside is crowded, making me stick out less as I stand at the counter, waiting for the man behind it to turn their attention to me.

He clears his throat and strokes at his greying beard, flashing me a friendly smile and asking, “what can I get you?” I don’t answer, simply pulling my bag open and shoving the parcel abruptly across the wooden counter, muttering, “three hundred, please”. The man takes the parcel hurriedly, maintaining his friendly face as he hands me a packet of crisps from behind the bar, which I frown at. However, when I squeeze at it, I can feel no crisps, but something paper. I speedily check inside, counting three hundreds, before nodding to the man and leaving as casually as I can.

When I sit back in Mr. Wexley’s car he frowns at me as he takes the money, speaking with disbelief, “that was quick. You’re good at this”. I don’t thank him for the first compliment he’s ever given me, instead hugging myself and staring at the ceiling, feeling horrible about myself. I know I didn’t have a choice, but I just committed a crime.

“I’ll be asking you to do this again”, Mr Wexley continues, making me feel even worse, “now, enjoy your weekend”. I don’t dare to complain or ask for a lift back, and leave his car speedily, hugging my bag as I watch them drive away. Huffing, I find my phone in my bag and pull up the GPRS, beginning the long walk home with music playing loud in my earphones.

By the time I make it back home I feel awful – exhausted both mentally and physically. I know exactly where I want to be now. I decide to go to the kitchen first of all, making two hot chocolates, before making my way to Phil’s door, and knocking. The door opens within a minute and I smile as soon as I see Phil; it feels amazing to see him after spending time with awful men. “Hello”, I greet quietly, handing him a hot chocolate and following him inside. “You look tired”, he says worriedly as we sit down on the couch in unison. I don’t answer him, just wrapping my arms around Phil’s neck and snuggling as close as I can get, enjoying his warmth. I drop off to sleep almost immediately, with Phil’s hand rubbing my back, but before I fall under I remember to whisper, “I can come this weekend”. I feel Phil hug me closer at this, and he speaks gently, a smile evident in his voice, “that’s amazing. Let me look after you for now, though”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can do smut in the next part if you guys like?


	17. No Mr. Wexley.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, a chapter where Dan and Phil aren't interrupted by Mr. Wexley; will Dan get on with Phil's mumm?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is reasonably graphic smut at the end of this chapter, if you don't like it, you can skip it, it's not important! :)

(from Dan’s point of view)

I jiggle my leg in time with the music playing on the car radio, glad to have Phil’s hand resting on mine, along with reassuring looks from him every so often. He doesn’t speak for the whole journey though, his mind seemingly somewhere else. PJ and Sophie – Phil’s friends from home - were lovely enough to give us a lift; I can only hope that Phil’s mum is as accepting of me as Phil’s friends have been. We soon arrive, and I pull my rucksack on – under Phil’s instruction I packed pyjamas and a toothbrush. I hope Phil’s mum will be okay with me staying over. Aside from my nerves for meeting Phil’s mum, I feel brilliant. I feel more relaxed, and excited for this weekend, than I have in what feels like years.

However, the days leading up to this weekend were somewhat a nightmare. As Mr. Wexley had said, he made me do more deliveries, dropping off questionable parcels and taking money for them. Luckily for me, I haven’t had to deal with any dangerous people yet doing this. If I didn’t suspect what I’m doing is horribly illegal, I’d be inclined to say I prefer these jobs to spying on dangerous men.

A tap on my shoulder knocks me out of my quickly-darkening thoughts; I make eye contact with Phil, who is watching me worriedly. “Sorry”, I whisper, forcing a giggle, “I’m nervous. I want your mum to like me”.

“She’ll love you”, Sophie says sweetly, pulling me into a hug while PJ pats my back awkwardly, “it was nice to meet you, Dan. We’ll get going now though”. Phil pulls me to his side once Sophie has pulled away, making me widen my eyes as he slightly possessively holds my hip. I take a moment to look up at Phil’s childhood house properly; I can see now where Phil’s love of bright colours and house plants comes from. The path up to the front door is lined with colourful flowers, arranged in intricate patterns. The house itself is painted pastel blue, matching a few of the flowers.

“Are you sure you won’t come in for a coffee, you two?” Phil offers, but PJ and Sophie don’t take him up on the offer, getting back into their car with a final friendly wave and leaving. “I’ve been wanting to show you to my mum for so long”, Phil states as soon as the car is out of sight, turning me to face him and staring at me intensely. “Phil”, I say tentatively, chuckling lightly at his darkened eyes, “what’s up with you today?” He breaks into a smile and leads us up the steps to the front door, ringing the bell before hastily whispering into my ear, “I want you”. I gasp at this and immediately recognise the lust flashing in his eyes, however, when the door opens it disappears.

My nerves stop as soon as I see Phil’s mother’s friendly face, and she immediately tugs me into a hug, “you must be Dan! It’s lovely to meet you, sweetie!”

“You too!” I smile widely, adding as we pull out of our hug, “I love your garden”. I seem to have said the right thing as Miss Lester immediately grins at me, speaking excitedly, “thank you, dear! I change it every year, last year I had a red and orange theme, oh you should have seen it –“. I giggle when Phil brushes his hand through his quiff next to me, clearing his throat, “I’m here too, mum, you know, your son?” Phil’s mum rolls her eyes and hugs him tightly too, before guiding us both inside and rushing to the kitchen to put lunch out.

Phil and I stand in her hall, pulling our shoes off, and I take the time to look around the beautifully decorated place. The whole house seems to have a blue theme – the wall décor and carpets match. Though the best part, for me, is the family photos covering every wall. Phil catches me looking at them, and gently touches my back, questioning, “you good?” Since I told Phil about my parents, he has been exceptionally careful around the subject. I nod quickly, trying hard to brush off the wish that I still belonged to a family, before leaning in to kiss Phil’s cheek and hugging him close.

“I need to use the toilet”, he says after we hug, and I nod, letting him go before I walk straight to the kitchen. Miss Lester is busy emptying a pan of sauce onto our plate, smiling across at me when she notices me in the doorway. “Can I help, Miss Lester?” I question, and she points out the cutlery drawer, “you can get us some forks and spoons, thank you, Dan. And call me Katherine”.

“Okay”, I grin, “Phil’s just gone to the toilet”, I state as I open up the drawer, rifling through. Katherine pauses in putting lunch out to lean back against the counter, speaking seriously, “you make my son very happy, you know”. I look across at her and blush slightly, answering, “he makes me very happy too”.

“I’m glad you’ve met each other, it’s very lucky to have rooms opposite each other. Like fate, I suppose”. I raise my eyebrows at her and nod; I hadn’t thought about it like that before. I jump when Phil re-enters the room, giving me a small smile before taking the cutlery off of me and taking it through to the dining room.

We are soon sitting around the table eating the delicious pasta Katherine has made, chatting together, the conversation flowing naturally. “So, how are you finding university, Dan?” Katherine asks, “it’s good”, I answer, adding with an uneasy laugh, “and stressful”.

“Yes, I imagine it is, and you have exams next week?” I shove pasta in my mouth at this; I haven’t been thinking about those at all. “Yeah”, Phil responds, “we’ll get each other through it though”. Lunch is lovely: I spend most of it just watching Phil and his mum converse in awe – I think their close relationship is beautiful. Though we offer, Katherine insists on washing up after we’ve eaten, ordering us to go and relax in front of the television. I snuggle up to Phil on the sofa, hugging his torso and allowing him to pull my legs across his lap. I soon regret this, however, when Phil’s hand comes to rest just below my hip, his fingers tracing gentle circles.

I can’t tell if he’s doing it on purpose – as he seems focused on the tv set – or if he’s still feeling like he earlier, lustful. I recall the gruff way he told me he wanted me, closing my eyes and groaning to myself in frustration. Nothing new happens for a while – we just watch the nature documentary in comfortable silence – but soon Phil’s hand moves to my thigh, deft fingers teasing me. I squeal when he digs his fingers into the flesh of my inner thighs, looking away from the TV and catching him smirking. He doesn’t look at me, though, as he continues to move his hand upwards. “Phil”, I hiss, “stop touching me so close to my-“.

I don’t finish the sentence, blushing madly when Phil just laughs evilly, finally looking into my eyes. “Are you getting shy?” He whispers; I widen my eyes and buck my hips involuntarily when he drags his fingers across my crotch, drawing a groan from my lips. When there are footsteps behind us, however, Phil tugs his hand away, smiling up at his mum when she enters. I sigh and bite at the inside of my cheek, glaring at Phil for winding me up like that – why the hell would he choose his mum’s house to do this?

Luckily during the afternoon, I manage to distract myself and calm down, though I don’t miss the smug looks Phil is giving me. He must have aimed to make me struggle as well as him – and it worked. We have a pleasant time with Katherine, simply watching the television up until tea time, where we help her make a small salad in the kitchen. I’ve forgotten about Phil’s moves on the couch earlier by the time we start eating, however, Phil changes this. I almost drop my cutlery when his hand lands on the knee, immediately moving up to my thigh.

I scowl at him but can’t do anything about it, just answering Katherine’s curious questions about me as we continue to eat. Phil’s fingers soon move to massaging my inner thigh under the table, and Phil smirks at me. When his palm stops right on my crotch and begins rubbing I almost choke on a piece of lettuce, reaching under the table and shoving Phil’s hand away. I hear Phil chuckle quietly but refuse to look at him as Katherine asks worriedly, “something wrong, Dan?”

“N-no, I’m just tired”, I stutter, scooping up my last mouthful and chewing quickly when Katherine says, “why not go to bed? We have two spare room but you are welcome to share –“ Katherine can hardly finish her sentence before Phil and I are rushing from the table, calling back our ‘thank you’s as Phil guides me up the stairs.

As soon as the door of what I guess is Phil’s bedroom – which I’m too distracted to even look around yet - shuts behind us, I snap, “I can’t believe you did that!” Phil giggles at me, playfully tackling me backwards onto the double bed, and I can’t help but giggle too. He smirks and leans on his hands and knees above me as I lie on my back, kissing my nose softly, “you can’t believe I did what, sweetness?” I roll my eyes at Phil’s innocent act, “you did-“, I begin, pausing to suddenly put my hand on Phil’s crotch above my own, “-this”. I smile devilishly as Phil’s back arches in response, but my feeling of revenge doesn’t last long, as Phil’s hand moves straight back to my straining jeans.

“Fuck”, we both whisper simultaneously as Phil’s fingers trace up my inner thigh, beginning to use the heel of his hand to rub me. I squeeze and grope at Phil’s hard member through his jeans, unable to hold in a moan at the feel of it. After a while of this I can’t stand to wait anymore, and I grip Phil’s zipper between my fingers, asking, “can I?”

“I thought you’d never ask”, Phil replies, repositioning himself so we’re lying on our sides facing each other. He kisses my lips gently and works at my own zipper as I free his cock, groaning quietly at the site of both of our painfully hard members now aching to be touched. “Fuck, Phil, I’m close already”, I whine as he immediately begins stroking me, causing the beautiful heat to build up inside me; these feelings are new to me – I’ve never been intimate with someone before, but Phil makes it easy. “Me t-too”, Phil stutters in reply, speeding his hand up on me and thrusting his hips into my hand so I do the same.

I bury my face in Phil’s neck as I finish, trembling through my orgasm and panting loudly – I have to hold in a loud moan for fear of Mrs. Lester hearing. Phil finishes shortly after, grunting as he does and whispering my name into my ear so I shiver.

We lie still for a while, me too embarrassed to move my face away from Phil’s neck – I’ve never felt so vulnerable with someone before. “You’re so cute”, Phil chuckles when I look up at his with red cheeks, shuffling nervously and asking, “was that okay, for you?” Phil looks at me with mild surprise, leaning over to grab a tissue from his shelf to wipe our hands, and replies seriously, “Dan, it was amazing. Can I ask if you’ve done that before?” I shake my head slowly, and Phil raises his eyebrows as he throws the tissues to the bin, “you knew exactly what you were doing”.

“I guess with you it just comes naturally. Everything comes naturally with you, actually”, I mutter tiredly, worn out and pulling my jeans off so I can lie under the covers with just my boxers and t-shirt. Phil hums at me, smiling widely at my words, and reaches over from his seat on the bed to stroke my hair, “I can go and sleep in another room if you like?”

“No!” I say immediately, half-sitting up and grabbing at Phil’s hand – surely he knows me well enough by now to know how much I adore sleeping with him. Phil sighs pleasantly as he lies down next to me, in his t-shirt and boxers too, our pyjamas forgotten. He rests his arm over my hip once he’s switched the lamp off and we both close our eyes, drifting off to sleep. The words “I love you” rest on my lips, but I don’t dare to push them out; I wouldn’t want anything to ruin the peace between us right now.


	18. Hard work.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exam week rolls around, can Phil help Dan through it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a short one, hope you enjoy this though!

(from Phil’s point of view)

The rest of the weekend at my mum’s is fun and chilled – by the end of it Dan and my mother are acting like they’ve known each other for many years. I’m so glad I decided to bring him, not only because watching him and my mum get on so well has been amazing, but because Dan hasn’t looked so happy and relaxed since I’ve known him. Even when watching movies me he’s never looked completely rid of tension – up until this weekend. I guess that university really brings the nerves out of him; as soon as we are in my mum’s car early Monday morning, on the way back, Dan is once again tensed up. He hasn’t stopped chewing on his thumb since we set off.

“Dan”, I say after a while of us sitting in the back silently, keeping my voice low enough for my mum not to hear, “what’s up?” Dan looks up from his lap and takes his thumb out of his mouth, seemingly coming back to reality, his eyes meeting mine. He gives me a small smile, shrugging as he answers, “I’m nervous for exams, that’s all”.

“Oh”, I say, understanding immediately; I keep forgetting we have three days of exams at the end of this week. “Me too, Dan”, I add, patting his knee gently, “I’ll help you, okay?” Dan gives me a big smile at this, and I can’t help but grin back – he looks so beautiful when he smiles properly. “Thank you, Phil”, he whispers, leaning across the back seats to press his lips to mine. However, my mum’s loud and enthusiastic “awwww!” makes us spring apart, both giggling, awkward and blushing.

“Well, it’s been so lovely to meet you, Dan”, my mum says when we have arrived, opening the boot for us to retrieve our bags. Dan gives my mum a hug before heading inside, leaving us to say goodbye. “Look after him, Phil”, she says over my shoulder as we hug, “he’s special, and he loves you”. My eyes widen at this and I pull back, asking breathlessly, “what do you mean?” My mum shakes her head at me, rolling her eyes as she says simply, “a mother always knows, Phil”. With a final pat on my shoulder she gets into her car, leaving me gawping and speechless after our exchange. Why would my mum think Dan _loves_ me? Sure, he likes my company, and seems happy to be my boyfriend, but I’m sure I’m more into him than he is into me.

With a shake of my head, I once again force my mind into an exam headset, heading upstairs with my backpack dragging behind me. Dan is waiting outside my door, his own backpack now away in his room. I smile at him and kiss his cheek – I secretly love that he’s waiting for me -, unlocking my door, “revision now, yes?” Dan sighs, nodding, “can we do it in the library together, though? You know I can’t concentrate at my place”.

“Of course”, I answer instantly – it doesn’t bother me where I sit down to study - “let’s get our things together and I’ll meet you out here”. Once we get to the library we each have our own headphones in and make notes quietly; I pause to pat Dan’s thigh or stroke his hair every so often when he looks too stressed, becoming overwhelmed by the masses of words in front of him. This confuses me – Dan has left my place so many times to go and study, yet there seems to be a great amount of sections in his textbook left untouched.

After three hours of this I put my pen down and slide one of Dan’s headphones up, questioning, “shall we quiz each other?” Dan doesn’t seem keen but he pulls his headphones off all the way and nods, swapping his page of notes with mine. We take turns in asking each other questions from our notes – I don’t struggle too much, but I’m worried about Dan and the small amount he seems to know. Unsurprisingly, after a while of answering questions wrong he drops my notes down tiredly, whispering so none of the surrounding students can hear us, “Phil, I’m so bad at this!” I shake my head and rest my hand on his, looking into his eyes and willing him to calm down. “Dan, you’re not bad at this, you’ve been working so hard! Haven’t you?” I jump and pull my hand away from him when he suddenly snaps, pulling at his hair, “yes! I absolutely hate this!” Dan widens his eyes and immediately seems to regret his outburst, “I’m sorry. I haven’t been getting as much done as I probably should”.

“It’s okay, Dan. You still have three days. Instead of watching movies this week, we can revise together, okay?” Dan seems relieved by this, his shoulders relaxing; he looks at me with such powerful admiration that my heart melts, “thank you, Phil. I don’t know what I’d do without you sometimes”. I raise my eyebrows at this comment, speaking honestly, “me too, Dan”. We both jump out of our somewhat tender moment when Dan’s phone beeps; he looks at me apologetically and retrieves it from his pocket, face dropping at the text or notification he has.

As I expected, he begins getting his stuff together, shoving his books into his bag, “I’ve got to go, I’ll come back here to revise later”. I open my mouth to ask Dan where he has to go to – but I’m not really close enough to him yet for it to be any of my business. “I’ll probably still be here”, I call after him as he walks away, “bye”. Dan doesn’t even turn back as he rushes out; I don’t miss his slightly trembling fingers.

-

The next few days pass in a similar way; we work in the library or at home, every day ending with us cuddling each other to sleep in my bed. Though he seems more focused on studying, Dan does go out a lot, claiming he’s either meeting with friends or going for a walk. Though I have my doubts, I could never believe Dan would lie to me, and I couldn’t accuse him of that.

Soon, I’ve done all of my exams, which went better than I could have asked for – the hours of studying has payed off. I sit waiting on my sofa, mindlessly flipping through my TV channels until there is a knock on the door. I open it to an exhausted looking Dan, - he's been looking more and more warn out this week - though he lights up at the sight of me. “You did it!” I say loudly as soon as I’ve tugged the door open, stumbling back and chuckling when Dan attacks me with a tight hug. “How did it go?”

“I think it went okay, actually”, Dan says into my shoulder – I can feel him smile against me. “Want to come inside and destress?” I ask, rubbing his back briefly, and Dan nods, smirking at me, his answer making me freeze, “if you mean what I think you do, yes”.

“And what do you think I mean?” I ask slowly with a frown; Dan gives me another smirk, stepping so close that our faces nearly touch, and I have to take a deep breath. He pushes his hand into his pocket, and I keep my eyes on his until he lifts his hand up between us, revealing an item I frown at – a condom. I shake my head and giggle briefly, though I’m cut off when Dan presses his lips to mine hard, letting out a muffled moan. I pull away and hold Dan’s hips, staring at his lips as I say, “you never stop surprising me, Daniel”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess the next part will be some smut then!... I haven't decided who's POV to do it from, though. If you have a preference, let me know in the comments.


	19. Just kiss me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just pure smut; if you don't like it, skip this chapter :) The last paragraph is important though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this :) Thank you for reading this :)

(from Dan’s point of view)

Phil swiftly pulls me through to his bedroom, though I can barely pay attention to where we’re going with his hands roaming my body. I flinch as they trace under my shirt to stroke my torso; he moves his hands so confidently, always sure of where he wants to touch next – I love this confidence in Phil, and I can’t help but wish I had it too.

I gasp when he pushes me back onto the bed, winding me when I land on my back heavily. My cheeks heat up as I watch Phil take his belt off above me, smirking down at me before joining me on the bed, straddling my hips. With my lower legs dangling off the end of the bed, Phil has me trapped under his legs, and I can’t help but moan quietly at the feeling.

“You’re so cute”, he suddenly says, leaning down to kiss at my neck, his lips tickling my skin; I giggle but frown, arguing, “no I’m not”. Phil giggles and raises his head to meet my eyes, his own eyes darkened but glittering as he speaks, “fine, you’re so _hot_ ”. His hands find the hem of my shirt again and he pauses to ask, “can I take this off?” I bite my lip, nervous for a moment, but Phil’s patient expression reassures me, so I nod, “yes. Only if you take yours off too”. Phil agrees and rushes to pull his shirt off; my eyes are glued to his torso once it is revealed. I’m so mesmerised by his toned arms and chest I hardly notice when Phil pulls my own top off.

“Gorgeous”, Phil states quietly, arms tensing as he leans up over me; I finally look away from his chest to find him staring down at my naked upper-half, and I blush immediately, unused to feeling so appreciated by someone. “Do you realise how beautiful you are, Dan?” Phil asks, tilting his head with real curiosity. I shrug my shoulders, “I do now. You are too, Phil”. Phil smirks and pulls me up so I’m sitting in front of him, wrapping his arms around me to tug me in for another kiss. I don’t miss the way Phil blushes slightly – it pleases me that I can compliment him too and have an effect on him.

I gasp into Phil’s mouth, opening it and allowing his tongue to enter when one of his soft hands creeps round to my front, briefly stroking over my nipples so I jolt, before moving down to my lower stomach, playing with the waistband of my joggers. I’ve never had someone touch me in this way so I’m over-sensitive – as if reading my mind, Phil takes his hands away, making me whine, and moves back, questioning, “Dan, have you done this before?” I swallow, and just answer his question with one of my own, “have you?”

Phil nods immediately, “yeah”. I blush yet again at this, lowering my head a little, with my eyes still on Phil’s to see his reaction, and whisper, “I haven’t, with a boy. Or ever. I’ve never done anything”. To my relief, Phil doesn’t laugh or mock me, but strokes a hand through my hair, asking gently, “are you sure you’re ready?” I smile and reply, leaning into Phil’s hand, “I’m ready for you, yes”.

Phil gives me a reassuring smile, hands returning to my waistband, “we can stop at any time, okay?” I nod instantly and whimper at Phil’s slow fingers teasing at my hips. I move my own uncertain hands to Phil’s shoulders, requesting, “just kiss me”.

“Hey, I’m in charge, remember?” Phil says, though the gentle kindness doesn’t leave his eyes. He connects his lips with mine again; I close my eyes and my lower stomach muscles flinch, when his hands slip under my waistband. He finally pulls my joggers off, leaving me in just my boxers. I sigh pleasantly at the feel of Phil’s soft lips – I have no idea how he keeps them from being dry, or cracked every day, like mine are. With a smirk, I experimentally tug at his lower lip with my teeth, jumping and opening my eyes when Phil pulls back abruptly, raising his eyebrows at me. I whine at the loss, but when Phil begins to tug his own trousers off I help him get them over his ankles, throwing them into the messy pile of our clothes on the floor.

He then looks to my bare legs in the same way he stared at my torso, stroking his hands along them, and asks, voice softer than usual, “will you lie down for me?” I nibble my bottom lip and let him guide me to lie down on my back, with my head on his pillow. My eyes go to Phil’s loose, black boxers, almost identical to mine, but I’m instantly distracted by his lips on my stomach. My breathing quickens, and I shudder with pleasure as Phil massages my thighs with his deft fingers while kissing up and down my stomach. My skin is left tingling wherever his lips have touched me, and I have a huge, pleased smile on my face; when he moves up the bed so his face is in front of mine, I rush to return the favour.

I move my hands to Phil’s chest, gently stroking down his stomach and up over his shoulders, then down his tensing biceps. I’m unsure of what I’m doing, or if I’m doing it right, but Phil’s groan of pleasure reassures me. Phil soon leans away and sits up again, resting his hands on my knees. He smirks at me from between my slightly spread legs, and I gasp when he suddenly slides one hand down my inner thigh, groping at me through my boxers. My hips buck up involuntarily, and I moan out at the feeling of Phil’s fingers sending waves of pleasure all the way up to my stomach.

Phil moves his other hand to pull at the bottom of my boxers, revealing more of my thigh, and asks, “can I see?” I nod in response, but grab at Phil’s wrists when he begins pulling, “you go first, please!” Phil smirks, moving his hands back; I blush at my shyness, but I know Phil doesn’t mind. He stands up from the bed to remove his underwear; I let out an embarrassing moan when he takes his straining cock into his hand, stroking it briefly as he gets back onto the bed. He smiles at my reaction but immediately works my boxers off, seemingly most interested in seeing me.

Once my boxers are also on the floor Phil takes my hardening cock into his hand, patting my knee whilst I tilt my head back at the feeling of his slow strokes, “spread your legs for me”. I do as he says immediately, both excitement and nerves building in my stomach when Phil produces a lube bottle. “I’m going to stretch you first, is that okay?” Phil questions, continuing to stroke me as he waits for me answer. “Yes!” I hiss, becoming desperate; I cry out when Phil pushes a lubed up finger into me. “Fuck”, I whisper, wincing slightly at the pain but pleased Phil continues to wank me as a distraction. Phil pumps his finger in and out gently for a short while before adding another one, “how are you feeling?”

“I’m alright, it hurt-” I reply, interrupted and jolting when Phil’s fingers curl in such a way that they brush against what must be my prostate. I widen my eyes and push Phil’s hand away from my cock, knowing I’ll get too close to finishing if he keeps it up. He smirks down at me, continuing to rub against my prostate as he scissors his fingers, before adding his third finger, whispering, “Dan, you’re amazing, just a little longer”. I nod and wince a small amount at the stretching pain inside me, but again, Phil’s fingers stimulating my prostate is enough to distract me.

I frown when Phil suddenly pulls his fingers out, taking all sensation away from me, and he strokes my knee gently, “are you ready?” I gulp; I didn’t expect that to be so quick. I take a moment to think about the question – I’m about to lose my virginity. Looking at Phil’s gentle face gives me my answer – I want to give all of myself to Phil, and I want him to give all of himself to me. “I’m ready”.

He smiles and leans over to me to grab the condom I had forgotten about, noting as he puts it on, “I think there’s enough lube inside you already, but I need you to let me know if you need more, okay?” I nod silently at him, nervous but obeying immediately when Phil requests I spread my legs. “I’m going to go slowly, tell me if you need me to stop”, he says slowly, making me groan impatiently, my hard cock throbbing in anticipation, and I snap, “just hurry up”. Phil chuckles at me briefly but obliges; I feel him line up with me and hold my breath. My mouth opens wide and I gasp when he begins pushing in slowly, pausing when he has just his tip inside me. There is a slight sting but luckily Phil’s fingers stretching me first have prepared me better than I could have hoped for.

He rests his forearm next to my head to kiss my cheek, continuing to push in slowly – almost too slowly for my liking. However, I’m surprised when Phil whispers into my ear, “I’m all the way in now, Daniel”. I smile at this and hold Phil’s face so I can peck his lips, shuffling slightly at the full feeling inside me. “Move, please”, I mumble, ignoring Phil’s surprised face and grunting when he pulls out before pushing back in, finally hitting against my prostate. “Fuck, that’s it”, I whine, rocking my hips down but flinching when it hurts me slightly.

“Careful, we have to be slow, remember”, Phil says, though his own face is contorted in desperate pleasure. As he starts thrusting in and out in a slow rhythm, I’m overwhelmed by just how much Phil cares about me. He never stops putting me first. I smile widely up at Phil and kiss his face again; I’m thrown off any sane thoughts when Phil’s hand is suddenly back on my cock, stroking me at the same speed as he thrusts. He continues at the same pace for a while, pulling loud moans from both of us. However, soon the gentle brushing of my prostate isn’t enough, and I grip at Phil’s shoulders, “harder, please”.

Phil raises his eyebrows at me – I can tell he wants to, but he argues, “Dan, you’re going to struggle walking”. I shake my head at him, “I don’t care!” That’s all Phil needs to hear to speed up, I scream in pleasure when he also speeds up his hand on my member, rapidly bringing us both closer to orgasm. I tilt my head back in bliss, whispering Phil’s name again and again under my breath – I’ve never felt anything like this, or even close. Nothing could match the feeling of Phil’s cock pounding into me over and over, relentlessly thudding into my prostate while he rests his face in my neck, kissing it softly and biting down every so often.

“Fuck, Dan, I’m close already”, Phil whispers into my ear, making me shiver, the words bringing me even closer to the edge. “Me t-too”, I whimper, thrusting up into Phil’s hand a moment after as I have my orgasm, crying out loudly. I gasp at the sensitivity as Phil continues thudding into me, summoning enough energy to reach up and stroke his chest. He finishes soon after me, groaning deeply and staring straight into my eyes as he does. “Fuck”, we both whisper in unison as Phil pulls out, collapsing onto the bed next to me.

Sitting in the exam hall earlier today seems like a world away as I close my eyes, listening to Phil moving around next to me but too wrecked to move. “I’m just going to clean you up”, he whispers gently, so I open my eyes up to watch as he wipes a damp, warm cloth across my sweaty body, wiping my cum off my stomach last. I feel myself tear up; Phil just couldn’t be more perfect. When Phil catches my tearful expression he places the cloth aside and sits down next to me quickly, stroking a hand through my damp hair, “baby? Are you alright? Oh god, did I hurt you?” I shake my head quickly, the care in his voice and worry in his eyes just making my tears spill over. I don’t have the energy to say much, so I just whisper tiredly, “I love you, Phil”.

I’m too exhausted to comprehend what I just said, but Phil just lies down next to me, wrapping an arm around my hips, pulling the duvet up over my shivering form, “Dan, I love you too. Now, sleep, you’ve had a long week”.


	20. Doubt.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil begins finding it hard to trust Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is shorter one :) thank you for reading anyway  
> Have a nice week x

(from Phil’s point of view)

The following morning, Dan is snuggled up closer to me than he has ever been before, his legs tangled with mine, with his arms pressed up against my side, his head resting on my chest. He must have been awake for a while, as when I look down at him, squinting at the bright light beaming through the curtains, he stares up at me with equally bright eyes. “Morning”, he says with a wide grin, and I stroke my hand through his hair, only just recalling our activities last night; some of the blissed out feeling I had afterwards still remains. “Morning. How do you feel?”

“Sore”, Dan whispers, shifting his hips and wincing slightly. I sigh guiltily – I knew he’d be in a fair amount of pain this morning after he asked me to go so fast. Dan should just rest today, and I definitely don’t mind looking after him. I’m about to ask him about breakfast when his phone vibrates on the bedside table. I huff at this, saying as soon as he picks up his phone, “Dan, I hope you’re not planning on going out right now, you really need to rest”. Along with Dan needing to rest, I really wanted to just lie in bed with Dan and talk to him this morning, after an amazing night.

I close my eyes in annoyance, disappointed when Dan rushes to sit up, “I have to go, I won’t be long”. I roll over and just listen to Dan getting changed, feeling more upset when I hear Dan’s small whimpers of pain – what’s so important that he has to leave me, so many times a week? I hear Dan huff as he gets himself changed, not even speaking to me before shutting my bedroom door behind me. I suppose I can’t blame him, the way I’ve turned over in bed away from him won’t encourage him to try to talk to me. I’ll have to apologise to Dan for this later – but his sudden leaving is getting to me more than usual today. Everything had felt so perfect when I woke up this morning – and as much as I hate to say it – Dan ruined that for us.

I don’t lie in bed for long, my negative thoughts tiring me out, making myself a coffee and breakfast to curl up on the couch with. After eating I dial Hazel’s number, needing some company right now. “Hiya, Phil”, she greets as soon as she picks up, “what’s up?”

“Erm, nothing really. Want to go out?” Hazel takes a few seconds to reply – she must be surprised, I am not often the one initiating outings. “Of course! Let me get out of bed and I’ll invite Tom and Dan too!”

“Dan can’t come, he’s busy”, I say – voice sounding more bitter than I had intended. Hazel picks up on my tone, but simply answers, “okay, Phil. I’ll see you at the pub at twelve?” I nod and run a hand through my hair, making my way to my bedroom, “that’s great, see you, Hazel”.

Within an hour, Tom, Hazel and I are sitting at the bar in the pub, a beer each in hand; we don’t care that it’s only two in the afternoon. I can tell Tom and Hazel are stressed about our upcoming exam results, and I am too, but more so about Dan. “I just don’t understand it”, I complain to Tom, taking another gulp of my drink, “he rushes out with no explanation all the time, and he won’t give me any straight answers. He won’t even tell me who’s texting him every fucking day”. Tom is taken aback by my swearing – I don’t often swear – but I can’t bring myself to care.

“It’s not just you, Phil”, Hazel chimes in, “he leaves Tom and I for texts too. Almost every time I’m with him”. I sigh at this, rubbing my forehead, “I wish he’d put me first sometimes, you know?” Tom smiles at me and pats my back, opening his mouth to say something else, but my phone rings loudly on the table in front of me. When Dan’s contact pops up, I answer it embarrassingly quickly – unable to stop worrying about him - “you okay?”

“Yes, thank you”, Dan replies, his voice sounding exhausted, “where are you?”

“Where were _you_?” I snap, feeling the tension build through my phone. “I- Phil”, Dan stutters, sounding upset and taken back by my tone. However, I don’t have enough alcohol in my system to be mean to Dan – I never could be – so I sigh and just answer, “it doesn’t matter. I’m at the pub with Tom and Hazel, come and join us if you like”.

“I’ll make my way there now”, Dan responds, adding a quick polite, “thank you”, before hanging up. I can’t help but feel excited to see Dan, though I do still feel slightly angry with him. Having sex with him for the first time was a special event for me – and Dan leaving me this morning tells me he doesn’t care as much as I thought he did.

“I’m sure you two will be okay. Everyone has secrets”. I nod at Tom’s reassuring words, but I tense up at what he says next, “I can’t imagine Dan cheating on you”. My mind races: I hadn’t even considered that possibility. Dan wouldn’t, would he? It would certainly explain his actions. I breathe deeply and remind myself of how he told me he loved me last night – my heart physically warms at the thought and I let myself smile slightly.

“What are you grinning at?” The familiar voice behind me makes me jump and I immediately turn around on my bar stool to Dan, looking up at him fondly. He stands quite shakily in front of me, and I rush to pull a seat out for him so he can sit down. He must be horribly sore now.  

“I was just thinking of you”, I answer, loving the way his eyes seem to glow at my words.” You look so tired”, I comment as he leans his arms on the bar, budging his stool closer so he can rest his head on my shoulder. Dan nods at me, greeting Tom and Hazel shortly before grabbing my hand gently and talking quietly so only I can hear. “I’m sorry I had to go this morning. My friend needed to borrow a textbook”.

“Okay”, I say shortly, wondering briefly why he couldn’t tell me this earlier – but I don’t want to stress any more over it, I have Dan here now. “I need the loo, can you order me a drink?” he questions, and I agree, pecking his cheek and letting him go off to the toilet.

I had forgotten Tom and Hazel were here up until Hazel rolls her eyes across at me, speaking jokingly, “you forgave him quickly. He gives you puppy-dog eyes and you’re gone”. Though Hazel is only teasing, I know she’s right, sighing to myself and sipping down the rest of my drink.

I remain quiet until Dan returns, allowing him to collapse against me once again, his arms wrapping around me. After ordering food and another round of drinks, Dan lets me know he’s tired out, so we say goodbye to Tom and Hazel, leaving the pub hand in hand. “Dan?” I ask once we’re outside, watching his face, “can I trust you?” Dan frowns at this immediately, panic rising in his eyes, “yes. Why are you asking me that?” He stops on the pavement, pulling his hand out of mine and crossing his arms, facing me.

I shake my head at his hurt expression, regretting my words already. “No reason, Dan. Let’s just go home”. The walk back home is silent, and without discussion of where Dan is sleeping we enter my accommodation. We get into my bed together and cuddle up in our pyjamas; Dan’s pyjamas and some of his clothes have made their way into one of my drawers over the past week. We don’t speak as we lie together, but Dan clings tightly to me, and I rub his back, content to relax and fall asleep in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll upload the next one soon hopefully, there is some stuff going on right now though


	21. "Who's Mason?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is given a dangerous job. Will Phil finally discover Dan's secret?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: strangling, gun threats, no shooting though, life threats.

(From Dan’s point of view)

I groan in annoyance when a noisy beeping drags me from my peaceful sleep; I open my sleepy eyes and immediately smile at Phil’s sleeping face in front of mine. I move my face close to listen to his gentle breathing, tracing my hand over his arm draped over my hip. However, as my body and mind begin to wake up I realise what the beeping sound was, I force myself to roll over and reach for my phone, dreading reading the incoming text. As I expected, it’s Mason, and I stumble out of bed as quietly as I can manage, panicking after reading his message, ‘I’m outside’. After pulling on some clothes and grabbing my rucksack from the corner of the room, I briefly look back at Phil still lying in the bed, staring longingly.

As I jog down the stairs I check the time on my phone, huffing when I see it’s 3 AM; I pause to take a nervous breath when I reach the front door, before shoving it open.

Mason stands against the wall, a cigarette hanging out of his mouth unattractively. I reach out and take the carrier bag he instantly hands to me, only glancing briefly at me. “Deliver these. Ask for a grand for each of them. The addresses are on the packages, and I’ll come over tomorrow to collect the money”. I feel sick at these orders – terrified by the idea of asking potentially scary men for so much money. When I don’t reply, silently watching Mason chuck his cigarette on the floor, he glares at me, raising his voice, “understand?”

I quickly nod in reply, blinking sleepily and crossing my arms in the cold; Mason seems in an especially bad mood today, his stance tenser than usual, jaw constantly clenching along with his fists. I jump and squeal when Mason’s hand suddenly goes to my neck, shoving me back against the wall behind me. I gasp at the feeling of the freezing bricks through my jacket, widening my eyes when he squeezes my throat, dark eyes glistening with amusement. Apart from my desperate, short breaths, the only sound between us is the rustling of the carrier bag I’m still clinging onto, my other hand grabbing at Mason’s wrist.

“Please”, I whimper, after what feels like a minute passes – though it was probably only a few seconds – “I c-can’t breathe”. Mason chuckles derisively, tightening his hand even more, “you better wake yourself up. These deliveries are important”.

“I know, I know”, I plead, my voice almost silent, “I’m awake now, please!” It’s true – the adrenaline and sheer terror now pumping through my veins have certainly woken me up. I cough and almost fall to the ground when Mason finally releases me, scowling up at him when he just smirks. Before I can stop myself, I snap at him defensively, “I can’t help it if I’m tired, I hardly ever get a full night’s rest, thanks to you!” Months of frustration and anger feel less burdening now I’ve spoken my mind, and I begin to shake, tearing up as Mason stares at me with surprise. I’ve never spoken out to these men – not once.

I thought Mason would have hit me by now, so I scream in shock when he leans forward to abruptly punch my stomach. I drop to my knees, curling up on the gravel with my tears now leaking, shivering when he warns from above me, laughing slightly, “you better watch your mouth, Howell. I’ll be telling Wexley about your little outburst”. I shake my head and groan barely able to hear his words through the overwhelming pain. I listen to him drive off in his car, moving my hands up to my hair and pulling at it with anger at myself. I only remember I have deliveries to get done when I look to my left, staring at the plastic bag and sniffling. I struggle to sit up, pulling out the two packages and noting their addresses down in my phone so I can find my way.

I whine when I see how far I’m going to have to walk – my stomach is already aching and I haven’t even managed to stand up yet. I don’t allow myself to think of what I’m carrying in my hand right now, knowing very well it could be illegal – considering how expensive it is, it’s likely. Wanting this to be over with as quickly as possible, so I can get back into bed with Phil, I force myself to stand up, limping to the pavement. It’s the thought of Phil, and of his warm arms wrapping around me with the promise of keeping me safe, that keeps me going.

All things considered, the first delivery is an easy one: I only have to knock on a house door, pass the package to a hooded man who opens it and immediately hands me the money. In any other circumstance, I may marvel at the amount of money in my hands. However, I just count it and hold my stomach as I begin to make my way to the next address. This one isn’t a house, and seems to be in the middle of nowhere. I’ve done more than an hour of walking by the time I reach an abandoned warehouse, and my stomach is giving me a lot of trouble. It doesn’t help that I know I have to walk the same distance all over again to get back home. I stand still for a few moments by the entrance to the warehouse, leaning an arm against the wall, and try to deal with the sharp, throbbing agony in my poor tummy.

My small rest is interrupted, however, when a man’s voice suddenly appears, “well, well. Who’s this?” My eyes flash open from being screwed shut and I stand up as straight as I can manage, hiding my trembling fingers behind my back when I see the man in front of me. He wears an expensive suit, much like Mr. Wexley; I desperately hope he’s nothing like Mr. Wexley. There’s something about the way he looks me up and down that makes me very uncomfortable. “I- I have a del-delivery for you”, I stutter, looking down briefly at the label of the package to avoid his gaze for a moment, “Mr. Ward?” I whimper and lower my head again when Mr. Ward steps closer to me, backing me up against the wall so I feel trapped.

“That’s me. I’m more interested in you than this delivery though. I haven’t seen you before. Where’s Wexley been keeping you? Hmm?” I shudder at his words, whimpering, and shake my head, “Mr. Wexley doesn’t keep me. I don’t belong to him. The delivery is one thousand. Please”. Mr. Ward seems surprised by the brave voice I put on – and, frankly, so am I -, raising his eyebrows, but he takes a step back and fishes his wallet out, handing me a pile of money. I’m too frightened to stand here and count it, so I shove it in my pocket, handing the package over.

However, just when I think I’ve gotten away from this dangerous situation, Mr. Ward roughly shoves me against the wall by my chest, winding me. I gasp, panting when he pulls a small, silver gun from his pocket, chucking the package carelessly on the floor. His forearm holds me against the wall, and he presses the barrel of the weapon to my neck, making me shiver at the freezing metal. I whine fearfully; this is the second time I’ve been threatened with my life today. “Please, don’t kill me”. My tearful plea is almost silent, and I watch with wide eyes as Mr. Ward just laughs shortly, “you go and tell Mr. Wexley he owes me money. Next time he wants one thousand off me he can come and ask for it himself”. I nod rapidly at this, letting out the breath I was holding in when he lets me go, smiling again, “I hope to see you soon, sweetheart”. I shudder at the nickname, immediately turning away and yelping when he slaps my ass. Tears slip from my eyes: I know there is a chance I will have to see this man again soon.

I shake my head and begin running, trying to block out the sound of Mr. Ward laughing behind me. I slow down once I’m back on the pavement, rubbing at my neck where the skin still tingles from the gun. The bright side is that the pain in my stomach has been numbed by my state of panic.

By the time I get back home it’s gone 6 AM; I make my way to Phil’s room as quickly as I can, luckily remembering to stop in his lounge to hide the money I have in my bag.

I almost cry in happiness as I lie down next to Phil, pulling the duvet up over myself and pressing my face into his neck. I lie still and just breathe in his scent, gripping at his shirt so he can’t leave me. “Dan?” I sigh when Phil moves next to me, reaching out to stroke my cheek, “are you okay?” I don’t answer, aware it’s clear that I’m not alright, but knowing I can’t tell Phil the truth. He sighs and pulls me closer, hugging me properly and kissing the top of my head.

We stay like this for a while, up until my phone beeps, muffled in my back pocket. I reach down to my jeans, not making eye-contact with Phil as I open the text from Mason, ‘I’ll be over at 4 for the money’. I put my phone back, relieved that I don’t have to move just yet. However, when I look up at Phil he’s watching me silently, an emotion I can’t read on his face. “Who’s Mason?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T h a n k y o u f o r r e a d i n g


	22. “I told you I love you!"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Results day arrives; Phil is finding it hard to trust Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a little long, the story is nearly over now! Enjoy :)

(from Phil’s POV)

“Who’s Mason?”

Dan closes his eyes at my question; I know if I could see his eyes they’d be filling with dread. I only saw the contact name when his notification flashed up. I wish I’d read the text, but I felt intrusive so I looked away. “He’s a friend, Phil”, Dan finally answers, but I can tell he’s holding something back. “A friend from where?” I push, hoping he’ll just tell me the truth, but he immediately replies, “from my course”. I hum at this, unwrapping my arms from around Dan, and sitting up so I can cross my arms. “And why were you going to see this _friend_ at 3 AM?”

He widens his eyes at this, sitting up as well and hugging his knees; Dan must have thought I didn’t notice him leaving – but I was lying awake listening to him go, assuming he just needed the toilet until I noticed he had taken his rucksack. Dan takes too long to answer me, “he wanted a textbook”. I can see he is looking tearful and hate that this is making _me_ feel guilty; he’s the one in the wrong here. He must be keeping something from me. Earlier, when he got back from wherever he was, he looked incredibly upset, like he does so many times, but he’ll never explain it to me. At first I had put it down to the parent situation – but I don’t know if I even believe that anymore. I sigh when a tear rolls down Dan’s cheek, placing my hand on his back, “Dan, why are you upset right now?” Even if I’m frustrated with Dan, or even if he’s lying to me, I don’t want to hurt him.

“I’m not. I’m just tired”, he replies shortly. I huff at this, feeling as if Dan is telling lie after lie to me. Seeing as it’s only 5 AM, and with how terrified Dan looks, I decide to let this go for now. Part of me wants to avoid this argument for as long as possible, and to just pretend we’re fine. “Let’s get some sleep, then”, I whisper, lying down but not hugging Dan like I was before, rolling over so I can face away from him. He sighs behind me but lies down too – I don’t manage to sleep for a while, terrified that this time tomorrow I’ll know the truth about Dan, causing us to break up. My only guess is that he’s cheating on me with this Mason.

-

When I wake up I fully intend to continue Dan and I’s conversation, and – though I hate doing it – to question him. However, when I sit up I don’t find him in bed next to me, instead he’s coming through the doorway with two full plates of breakfast. I smile at this, pleasantly surprised at the effort he’s clearly gone to. “Thank you”, I say as he hands me my plate, filled with delicious eggs, mushrooms, beans and toast. “We get our exam results today”, I point out as he sits down next to me, causing Dan to flinch, swallowing his food down slowly and putting the rest of his food aside.

“Are you nervous?” I ask, though of course I know the answer – he looks as if he’s on the verge of puking. “I don’t want to fail”, he whimpers, suddenly bursting into tears. I shake my head and pat Dan’s knee awkwardly. I’m still not feeling right about touching him, but I say encouragingly, “you won’t fail, you’ve worked so hard!” Dan nods and wipes his cheeks, suddenly pulling me into a hug so I gasp. I huff and push Dan away gently, almost snapping, “Dan, we need to talk”.

“I’m sorry, Phil, I just don’t know what I’ll do if I don’t pass the exams. I tried my best but –“. I shake my head and shush Dan, “you’re going to pass. I know you will”.

“What did you want to talk to me about?” He questions, picking his food back up. “It doesn’t matter”, I say; I don’t have the heart to upset Dan more – I’ll just have to wait until after our results come through.

-

Though it feels very off, I enjoy spending the day pretending Dan and I are fine; Hazel invites us over to chill at her place with Tom whilst we wait for the exam results to be released. Drinking the wine and beer Hazel continually offers around helps me relax as well. I allow Dan to snuggle up to me on the sofa – earlier having felt like pushing him away. I’m unsure if Dan can tell if there’s something up with me today, he seems content to just forget I ever mentioned Mason.

Soon enough we all have our laptops open; I stroke Dan’s hair to try and keep him calm, whispering soothing things in his ear every now and then. “Mine’s here!” Tom yells a few minutes later, and we all open our emails, clicking in silence. I look at Dan’s before I bother looking at my own, smiling widely when I see he’s passed every one of his exams. “See, I knew you could do it!” I say, letting Dan hug my side while I open my own email, breathing out in relief when I see I’ve also passed. “I did it!” Hazel squeals, pouring us all more wine, practically dancing around the room.

“How did you do, Tom?” I ask, further relieved when he also grins, “I did okay!”

“Well done, Phil”, Dan says sweetly, turning my chin so he can peck my lips, hugging me close again. I rub his arm gently, however, the moment is ruined when Dan’s phone beeps. I pull away immediately, glaring at the floor, not reacting when Dan announces he needs the toilet. Does he really think I’m naive enough to think he’s doing anything other than checking his phone in there? Hazel and Tom are watching me in silence, sensing the tension and my building anger. They don’t speak, and Dan returns a few moments later.

Before he can speak, I ask, unable to keep the bitterness out of my voice, “you need to go, do you?” Dan swallows uneasily, picking his bag up and replying, “I’m tired. I need to nap”. My fists clench and I look away as Dan leaves the room, dropping my head in my hands as soon as the door closes. “He’s lying to me”, I state, packing my laptop into my bag and ignoring Tom and Hazel shouting questions after me as I hastily leave.

I walk slowly back to my accommodation, not wanting to risk bumping into Dan. With a can of Hazel’s beer still in hand, I plan on rushing to bed and drinking myself to sleep, however, I freeze at what I see in front of me across the corridor. A man I don’t recognise - with a long, dark ponytail and navy-blue suit - stands outside Dan’s apartment, turning his head to glance at me briefly before walking right past me, leaving the building.

I fold my arms and just watch in shock as Dan steps into the corridor, staring at me and waiting for my reaction. As much as I’ve been wanting the truth - I didn’t want _this_. “Phil-“, Dan starts, trying to explain, but I shake my head, walking slowly towards him with a slight wobble from the alcohol. “You told me were tired. You said you were going to nap”. Dan tries to speak again, but before I can stop myself I shout, “that was Mason, was it?” Dan blinks, eyes filling with tears – for once I feel no sympathy – and nods once. He takes a step back when I yell again, “there’s something going on, isn’t there?”

I widen my eyes when Dan whispers, “yes”, refusing to listen when he adds, “let me explain, though, please”.

“I can’t believe I told you I love you! I don’t even know you, do I?” Dan flinches as I keep shouting, so take a breath and try to lower my voice, “I’ve been nothing but nice to you, Dan. And what do you do? You cheat on me”. I growl when Dan stays silent, looking just as shocked as feel. “How long has this been going on?” When Dan just shakes his head at my question, lowering his face to cry, I walk away, slamming my door behind me. I chuck my can of beer on the floor carelessly, rushing to my room and dumping myself on my bed, curling up and hoping for the aching inside me to go away. I just can’t comprehend how I’ve lost everything so quickly.


	23. I'm sorry.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan and Phil decide if their relationship is worth continuing - and Dan is in real trouble with Mr. Wexley after ignoring his phone calls for days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go

(from Dan’s point of view)

I stand frozen after Phil slams his door, raking my fingers through my fringe and sliding my back down the wall so I’m sitting against it. I rest my face on my knees, unable to stop crying; Phil believing that I could ever cheat on him hurts me more than anything could. At this point, I’d rather he knew Mason had only come to collect money from me – but that of course would put Phil in danger.

I spend the rest of the day and night crying, eventually making it to my bed; I’m in a dream like state as I curl up under the covers, holding the duvet over me. Unable to get Phil’s hurt and confused expression out of my head, I never manage to calm down; though eventually the feeling of hunger manages to push through. However, as soon as I get outside and see Phil’s door, I can’t just walk past it and go to the kitchen – without thinking properly, I knock on his door,

I sniff and rub at my soaked eyes while I wait, taking a small step back when the door eventually opens. “Phil”, I whisper sadly, taken aback by the sight of him. I’ve never seen Phil like this: he doesn’t look like he’s slept, with dark circles around his eyes, which are reddened. “What are you doing here, Dan?” Phil asks, voice croaky – it breaks my heart that he sounds like he’s been crying too. He holds the door half open; it’s such a contrast to before, when he’d immediately let me in, that I almost begin sobbing again.

“I wasn’t cheating on you”, I say suddenly, hugging myself and shivering though I’m not cold. Phil barely reacts to my words, just asking blankly, “what is it that’s been going on, then?” I lower my eyes and shake my head, “I can’t say”.

Phil sighs, and I widen my eyes when he pushes the door slightly further shut, stating forcefully, “I can’t deal with this secrecy, either you tell me the truth, or…” I frown when Phil trails off, unable to look at me when I push, “or what?”

“Or we’re done”. I flinch at his words; he hadn’t said anything like this yesterday. “But, Phil”, I whisper, practically begging, “I love you”. Phil huffs and steps out of his doorway, abruptly taking my hands and looking into my eyes desperately, “then please, tell me the truth!” I whimper at Phil’s words, taking my hands from his but pulling him into a hug – I really need him close. He reluctantly holds onto me, but his grip loosens when I cry, “Phil, I really can’t, you don’t understand”.

“Then I’m sorry, Dan”, Phil says, his words broken up by his own sniffles, “we’re done. We have to be done”. Tears flood down my cheeks and I hold onto Phil tighter – but hearing Phil cry and be so upset allows me to pull away, knowing I’m the one causing this beautiful person to break down. “I’m sorry”, I say again, walking back to my door without looking back. I pause when Phil adds, “don’t talk to me for a while, okay?”, turning back to say something, but he’s already gone back inside.

For the second day in a row, I rush to my bedroom, throwing myself onto my bed so I can sob myself into a restless sleep again.

I wake up from my nap a few hours later, grabbing at my head, which is aching from all of the crying. When my eyes fix on my phone, forgotten on my bedside table, I close them again, rolling over. A few days ago I would have rushed to check my phone, in case I’ve missed anything Mr. Wexley needs me to do – but I feel nothing but hatred and content for Mr. Wexley and his men right now. They took Phil away from me.

When I get back from a trip to the bathroom a few hours later, however, I do check my phone, hopeful that Phil has called or messaged me. However, my stomach flips with dread when I instead see 14 missed calls from Mason. Once I’ve read a text saying, ‘we’re coming over now’, the passive and careless attitude I had slips away. I haven’t ever been in this much trouble with them before – for three days I’ve ignored their calls and texts.

I chuck my phone on my bed, knowing there’s nothing I can do now but wait for them to arrive. I’m only waiting for half an hour; the knock on my door is horribly loud and aggressive. I can sense their anger even from out here. I can hardly walk properly to the door, stumbling nervously on my shaking legs. I pull it open slowly, whimpering when I’m shoved backward by Mason and Jake, who walk in, followed by Mr. Wexley.

I haven’t seen Mr. Wexley anywhere close to this level of anger before – his fists and jaw are clenching tightly enough to break a bone. “Get on your knees, right now”, he orders, but before I have the chance to obey, Jake tugs me down by my shoulder, making me wince when my knees crash into the hard floor.

“Howell, what the hell have you been playing at?” Mr. Wexley snaps, folding his arms across his chest and glaring down at me. Struggling to speak because of how terrified I am, I just whisper, “I haven’t b-been well”.

“Oh. I’m sorry to hear that. You must be terminally ill then?” I widen my eyes at Mr. Wexley’s words, confused, and ask almost silently, “what?”

“That’s the only acceptable reason for ignoring us, Howell!” He shouts; it makes this situation scarier that Jake and Mason are flinching at Mr. Wexley’s yelling – even they aren’t used to Mr. Wexley being _this_ furious. They seem to be waiting for me to say something, so I gulp, whimpering, “I’m not terminally ill, Sir”.

Mr. Wexley hums at this, seemingly calming down now he has me on my knees in front of him, where he can do anything he wants to teach me a lesson. “Then you’re in real trouble”, he states, stepping back towards the door so I frown, “more than ever before”. I shudder and can’t help but begin crying at this, trying to prepare myself for the amount of pain I know I’m about to endure. “Let’s take him out of here”, Mr. Wexley says, nodding to Mason and Jake, who suddenly tug me up to my feet.

“What?” I ask in confusion, fighting as my arms are tugged behind my back – they’re never taken my away somewhere to hurt me before. “Please! Don’t!” I beg, but my words are just met with a sharp punch to my stomach, making me quieten and bend forward, gasping in shock. I cry silently as I feel handcuffs being locked too tightly onto my wrists, behind my back, before a cloth is shoved into my mouth and tied around my head.

I continue to plead in spite of the gag as I am pulled out of my room and to a car outside, my muffled words going unheard as I am shoved headfirst into the boot of the black vehicle. I whimper in the darkness, pulling my knees up to my chest and shivering even more than I was before when I hear the engine start. The car begins moving, turning sharply so my back thuds into the edge of the boot behind me, making me squeal in pain. I just squeeze my eyes shut and plead with some higher power that this will be over quickly – it doesn’t help that I know this time there’s no Phil to get back to. This time, there won’t be anyone to hug me close and tell me everything will be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading :) Have a nice day! :)


	24. Vulnerability.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is hurt. He needs Phil's help - will Phil give it to him?

(from Phil’s point of view)

I spend hours and hours moping around in my room, ignoring any worried texts I get from Tom and Hazel, or from my mum. I’m unsure of what time of day it is when I finally leave my bed, so it’s surprising to see afternoon light filtering through my blinds – I’ve been in my room since yesterday afternoon, and I haven’t even slept. I stare at Dan’s door longingly on my way to the kitchen, tempted but forcing myself not to go near it; I have to keep reminding myself how much Dan has hurt me, and that I can’t put myself through that anymore.

After I’ve shoved some bread in the toaster carelessly, I finally check my phone properly, sighing when I see so many missed calls from my mum. It isn’t fair to cause her any worry, so I dial her number, rubbing at my eyes and trying to pull myself out of the state I’m in before she answers. “Phil, I haven’t heard from you in so long”, she babbles immediately, “I’ve been worrying about you! How are you?” I chew on my bottom lip guiltily and huff, “I’m sorry, mum. I’m not great to be honest”.

“What’s happened, sweetheart?” I take a breath before answering my mum’s question, trying not to let my voice crumble, as I can feel I’m close to crying again, “I had to break up with Dan”. The sigh of disappointment and upset on the other side of the phone just makes me feel worse, and my mum says with confusion, “what on earth happened? You two only just got together”.

“I think he was cheating on me”, I explain, frowning when my mum immediately replies sharply, “I don’t believe that for a second”. I nod in agreement with her – the idea of Dan cheating on me is the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to believe. “Maybe not. But he’s been lying about something, and he won’t tell me the truth”.

“Well, I hope you two work it out”, my mum says sweetly, but I just sigh, “we won’t. I broke up with him”.

“Oh, Phil”, my mum says quietly after a long pause, adding with concern, “I know you. I bet you’ve been shutting yourself off since this happened. Promise me you’ll invite some friends over”. I smile at how well my mum knows me, feeling marginally better now I’ve spoken to her, “I promise, mum. Thank you for cheering me up. I’ll leave you to your day now”.

“Alright, Phil. Smile for me, love you!” She says before hanging up the phone, leaving me to eat my toast.

-

As my mum requested, I invite Tom and Hazel over in the evening, warning them over the phone not to ask me any questions relating to Dan. Though we order pizza and watch a movie together, I can tell all of us are struggling to act normally without him here. I’m sure Tom and Hazel have many questions about what’s happened between us, but instead they do their best to keep my mind off of it. Hazel continually offers me alcohol that I refuse, and Tom keeps bringing up exams and coursework.

About half way through the film we’re watching, I jump when my phone vibrates in my pocket, fishing it out and widening my eyes at who is calling me. It’s Dan, and I’m in two minds about whether to answer it. He’s hurt me badly, and even the thought of him brings tears to my eyes. However, a feeling in the back of my brain tells me I need to answer this phone call.

I stand up and walk to the opposite side of the room before picking it up, sighing and speaking as strongly as I can, “I told you not to call me”. There is silence on the other side for a long moment – and I can hear something faintly, it sounds like sniffling? I open my mouth to speak again but Dan suddenly talks, “Phil, please, I -I need help. I can’t m-move”. Dan sounds like he’s shivering, and his voice is so weak that he sounds wounded.

Feeling sick with worry, I rush back to the sofa and sit down, “Dan? What do you mean you can’t move? Where are you?” Tom and Hazel stare at me anxiously and I bite at my lip to stop myself from crying at Dan’s broken, and slowly spoken, answer, “I hurt. I d-don’t know where I am. Please help”.

“Okay ba-“, I begin, closing my eyes and stopping myself when I almost call Dan ‘baby’, thrown off for a moment. “Dan, switch on the location on your phone for me, I’m going to come and find you, okay?”

“O-okay”, Dan whispers, hanging up before I can say anything else to him. I curse under my breath and begin finding Dan’s location on my phone with shaky fingers, jumping when Tom and Hazel walk over to me – I had forgotten they were here. “What’s happened?” Hazel asks, patting my back, and I sigh, “Dan’s hurt, I need to go and get him”.

“Phil”, Tom responds instantly, “I have my car with me right now, let me drive you there. Hazel, you better go home”. I look at Tom gratefully as he hands me my coat and leads me out, noting that it’s pouring down with rain. We say goodbye to Hazel and I get in the front of Tom’s car, rubbing at the back of my head with agitation as soon as we start driving.

“Why is Dan hurt?” Tom asks after a while of silent driving, and I just shake my head, “I don’t know. He doesn’t tell me anything”. I breathe out shakily and add tearfully, “I hope he’s okay. He sounded so… wounded, and in pain”. Tom huffs and leans across to pat my shoulder, “he’ll be fine. We’re nearly there”.

I frown when we pull up outside of a deserted warehouse, scowling at the big green building – why on earth was Dan here? What was he thinking? This is the sort of place I’ve only ever seen in horror movies. However, I’m distracted from my thoughts when my eyes fall on Dan, looking tiny and curled up against the wall next to the entrance. I don’t even wait for Tom to stop the car, ignoring his shouts after me as I jump out, stumbling slightly and sprinting over to Dan. “Fuck”, I whisper as I stop in front of him, immediately ripping my coat off and throwing it over his shivering legs. He must be freezing in the rain – and he’s only wearing a thin t-shirt and jeans.

His eyes are closed as I crouch down in front of him, his head leaning back against the metal door behind him. I take in the cut above his eyebrow and his bruising cheek, gasping and bringing my hand up to his face, stroking his chin gently. “Dan, are you awake?” His eyes flash open, fear crossing them for a second, but he once he realises it’s me, he visibly relaxes. In response to my question, he nods at me, wincing when he moves his neck just a small amount.

“Can you stand up?” I ask, holding back all of the questions I have. “Maybe”, Dan croaks out, his eyes not leaving mine as I wrap my arms around him, attempting to help him up. However, when he shouts out in pain I put him straight back down again, shaking my head, “I’m going to call an ambulance, Dan”. I ignore Dan when he begins arguing, turning to Tom, who is waiting silently behind me and asking him to call them. Tom nods and steps away to do so, and I slowly sit myself down next to Dan, careless about the wet ground.

His eyes are closed again; he looks exhausted by the pain, so I can’t help but feel terrified by how badly injured Dan looks right now. “What happened?” I ask after a few minutes of silence, but like I expected, he simply shakes his head, refusing to answer me. I sigh and don’t push him, because firstly, he’s in pain, and secondly, it’s not really my business anymore. We’re not together. “It’s okay, you don’t have to answer”.

“Phil. I’m scared”, Dan whispers after further silence; when I look into his eyes he’s showing me a vulnerability I haven’t seen before. “Please can you hold me?” He whimpers, and I hesitate, but gently wrap my arm around his shoulder and pull him close, holding his hand and squeezing it tightly to stop him shaking. Dan leans into me, his eyes scrunching shut at the pain of movement. “You don’t need to be scared”, I say, resisting the urge to pet his hair, or even kiss it, like I badly want to.

The ambulance soon arrives, and I step aside quickly, folding my arms and watching nervously as two paramedics rush to Dan, checking him over. I try to watch, hating how fearful Dan looks, but am distracted by one of the paramedics, patting my shoulder and questioning, “who are you? A relative?” I shake my head, “no. I’m his boy -“, I sigh and correct myself, “his friend”.

The lady nods and smiles at me reassuringly, “you can ride in the back of the ambulance with him if you want, or you can meet us at the hospital”.

“I’ll ride with him”, I say without hesitation, huffing when she goes on to ask, “do you know what happened here?”

“No. And I don’t think you’ll get it out of Dan either”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll get the next part up as soon as I can :) Hope you're all enjoying this as much as I am


	25. "It won't be a burden".

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is in hospital. Now that Mr. Wexley has hurt Dan more than ever before can Phil finally convince him to tell the truth?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for deciding to read! :) have a lovely day

(from Dan’s point of view)

Bright lights and a loud beeping noise that makes me tense up and flinch wakes me; my eyes flash open and I gasp audibly in confusion at my surroundings. I’m in a room with clean, brightly coloured walls, empty aside from Tom, who sits on a chair in the corner, scrolling through his phone. I finally work out that I’m in a hospital room, immediately becoming nervous at this prospect – Mr. Wexley would impossibly mad at me if he knew I’d come here. I’m not allowed to draw attention to myself; he’s warned me of this many times. I fiddle agitatedly with the thin blue sheet over me, groaning when my sleepy body doesn’t allow me to move.

I begin to recall the horrible events that got me here I whimper fearfully to myself, shuddering and reaching for my chest, where I was kicked too many times. I cringe at the dull soreness, surprised that I’m not in more pain right now – like I was earlier on. I must be on some kind of wonderful painkiller. When I try to breathe in deeply, however, my lungs give me a terrible, sharp pain. “Tom?” I call out, the word crumbling into nothing but a fearful grunt.

However, Tom still hears me, looking up from his phone and rushing over to me instantly. “Dan! I’ll go and get the doctor”. I try to call out for Tom to come back and stay with me, but he jogs out, leaving me alone and shivering. The last thing I want is to be alone right now. Luckily, before I can get myself too worked up, a tall man in a white coat enters the room, giving me a gentle smile as he stops at the side of my bed.

He fiddles with the paper on his clipboard for a few moments before finally speaking, “Mr. Howell, I’m Dr. Stephens, how do you feel?”

I take a minute to assess myself properly, before answering, “I’m sore. And tired”. My voice still won’t come out properly, and I frown at this, lifting my arm up with a wince to feel my throat. I flinch and squeeze my eyes shut when I recall Jake shoving me against the wall by my neck. When I look down at my arms I notice the disgusting pattern of bruises, ranging from dark red to light purple.

“Yes. That’s to be expected. I’m afraid you have two fractured ribs, Mr. Howell. But apart from that it’s only minor injuries. You’ll need to rest here for a few days. Then we can let you out to rest at home for another week. Until then, we have a police officer coming in to talk to you about what happened”. I gawp at the masses of information being thrown at me, feeling myself panic, and suddenly shake my head violently – which only serves to bring myself immense pain – “I don’t want to talk to the police!”

“Your injuries show you were physically abused, Mr. Howell”, Dr. Stephens explains with a frown of confusion, “you should talk to the police”. Tom walks in behind the doctor, but I ignore him, saying more quietly, “I didn’t know the people who did this to me, okay? Telling someone won’t help”.

“Still, the police can help you find these people”, the doctor continues to argue, his face growing more sympathetic now I’ve told him it was a group of men that did this to me. Frustrated, I growl and snap, “I said no! I won’t talk to anyone!” This doctor doesn’t understand my situation – no one does except for me, and my parents.

Finally, Dr. Stephens sighs at me, giving in and running a hand through his ginger hair, “alright, Mr. Howell. But if you change your mind, you must tell us. We only want to help you”. I don’t even respond to the doctor this time, just looking away to the window and sighing at the boring view of a brick wall. I listen to the sound of him leaving the room but don’t turn my head back, suddenly feeling overwhelmed and upset – I want Phil here. Tears fill my eyes as I realise Phil didn’t stay to make sure I was okay – he really does want me out of his life for good.

I’m pulled out of my spirally thoughts when Tom places his hand on my shoulder gently, giving me a warming smile. “How are you?” I sniff and shrug my shoulders, wincing yet again when I hurt my chest, “I’m alright”. I force a smile and add, “thank you so much for staying”.

“Don’t thank me”, Tom states, making me frown as he explains, “I went home earlier. Phil, however hasn’t left your side up until an hour ago. He’s just calling the university for you and having something to eat”.

“He stayed?” I whisper with disbelief, tearful again – but this time not because I’m sad. Tom rolls his eyes at me, “of course he stayed. He cares about you more than you seem to think”. I just blink at Tom, and when I don’t speak he clears his throat, “I’m going to go and find Phil. He’ll want to know you’re awake”. I nod and watch Tom leave, unable to hold back a small smile. Phil still cares about me, at least a little, even if he hates me. I take a deep, painful breath as I lie in bed waiting – I’m excited to see him but also terribly nervous; I haven’t been able to get his hurt expression out of my head. He actually believed I cheated on him.

Phil walks in a few minutes later; he looks tired and almost ill, but when he sees me awake his eyes brighten, and I gasp when he rushes over. He gives me a careful hug and I rest my chin on his shoulder, reaching up to rap my arms around him, and he whispers, “you’re okay”. I don’t know whether he’s saying it to soothe himself or me, but I nod, whimpering quietly when he presses lightly on my chest. “Hurts”, I squeal, causing Phil to pull away from me abruptly, “I’m sorry. Fuck, Dan, I was so worried about you”.

I just shake my head in response as Phil pulls up a chair, immediately taking my hand to comfort me. Right now, t’s almost as if Phil and I are fine – like we never had a horrible argument and broke up. “What happened?” I knew the question was coming, and for once, I’m so close to just telling Phil the truth, because I know he deserves it. And I hate that after everything he’s done for me, and continues too do for me - even though we’re not together - I still can’t give him what he deserves.

I open my mouth to make up some story like I usually do, but stop myself. “I won’t lie to you. But I can’t tell you the truth either”. Phil closes his eyes at my words, sighing to himself and taking a big breath as if he’s been preparing to say what he’s about to say for a while. “Dan. If you don’t tell me everything, right now, I’m walking out of that door”, he pauses to glance at the door behind him, “and I’m leaving your life forever”.

The room goes silent, so silent that I swear I can hear myself blinking desperately to get rid of my tears. I grip Phil’s hand tighter – I’m not prepared to lose Phil. And with how injured I am, and how much pain I’m going to be in for a while, I feel absolutely no loyalty towards Mr. Wexley. “Phil”, I breathe, “if I told you, you couldn’t tell anyone, or try to help me. You’d have to keep it secret, like I do”.

Phil sighs and reaches up to stroke my fringe, neatening it for me and wrapping a curl around his finger, “I can do that. I won’t tell anyone”. I can’t look away from Phil’s eyes now, they’re so intense that I do feel like it’s okay to tell Phil. But still, I murmur, “it would be such a burden for you”.

“No, Dan. It won't be a burden, it’s what couples do, they share their problems. They share the good, and they share bad”. At the sound of Phil calling us a couple again, I have to swallow down a sob, but I’ve decided what I’m going to do. I have to choose between loyalty to Phil, and loyalty to Mr. Wexley. Now I know that Phil will keep my secret, there’s never been an easier choice. “Okay. I’m scared. But I’ll tell you. I’ll tell you everything”.


	26. "I should have known."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dan is recovering and Phil is there for him.

(from Phil’s point of view)

“Phil, please say something”. I can hardly hear or process Dan’s words, overwhelmed by all that he just told me. There’s a strong sense of relief – everything that’s happened in the last few weeks makes sense now – but also a horrible feeling of fear for Dan’s safety. “Let me step outside for a second, okay?” I breathe out quietly, briefly stroking my thumb over Dan’s cheeks, which are soaked with tears which continually fell as he told me everything.

“You’re not leaving me, are you?” Dan asks, becoming more worked up as I stand, “no, Dan. I just need to take all of this in”. I give him a reassuring smile and leave the room, collapsing into the closest chair and dropping my head in my hands.

Thinking of how Dan has lost his parents, and how a criminal gang is using him and threatening him, is hurting me badly. Dan is so strong. I mean, I already knew he was strong – but what I know he’s coping with right now is beyond my understanding. If I was in his position, I would have given up a while ago. This Mr. Wexley sounds like a nasty piece of work – so of course I don’t blame Dan for keeping all of this a secret from me; he not only has his own life being threatened, but also his own family’s. I know what my choice would be if it was my mum instead.

I jump and raise my head when a pair of feet appear in front of me, forcing an awkward smile at Dan’s doctor. “Hi, Dr. Stephens”, I mumble, sighing at myself when my voice catches – I’m close to crying. “Can I have a word with you?” He asks, adding as he sits down on the chair next to me, “it’s just that you’re the closest person here to Mr. Howell”. I nod and rub at my face in an effort to calm myself down.

“Do you have any idea how he got hurt? Or who did it?” I take a moment to answer this question – though I badly want to tell the truth and try to help Dan, he made me promise not to tell anyone. And now that I’ve heard how dangerous these men can be, I won’t be the one to get Dan hurt again. Though I really dislike being bought into this lie, I reply dully, “no, Dan said it was strangers”. Dr. Stephens sighs but believes me immediately – more easily than he seemed to believe Dan – and stands back up, “okay, Mr. Lester. Thank you. Mr. Howell needs rest. I suggest you go home and get some rest yourself”.

I smile and shake the doctor’s hand, saying a sincere, “thank you, doctor. Call me if he gets any worse”, before I head back to Dan’s room to say goodbye. Dan is on the verge of falling asleep when I enter, his exhausted eyes only half opening when they look across at me. I take Dan’s hand without hesitation, whispering down to him gently, “thank you for telling me the truth. Is it okay if I go home now? I’ll come back as soon as I-“

Dan interrupts me before I can finish, smiling at me sweetly, “yes, Phil. You look just as tired as me”. I nod and sigh at the purple bruising on Dan’s neck which seems to be making talking painful for him. Before I go, I take a breath, and ask with a small frown, “erm, Dan. Will you be safe here? You know, from Mr. Wexley, and his men?”

Dan closes his eyes at the mention of their names, tears slipping down his cheeks, replying slowly, “yeah. They won’t know where I am. Don’t worry”. Despite just spending an hour explaining all of this to me, Dan still seems uncomfortable talking about his situation to me. I nod with relief, reaching forward to stroke Dan’s upper arm, avoiding the bruises, wanting badly to lean forward and kiss Dan – but we haven’t discussed that side of things yet. And, of course, both of our minds are a mess right now, so it’s probably best to leave it out for now. I don’t want to stress Dan out even more. Besides the point, I’m unsure if he’ll even want me back after I accused him of cheating on me.

-

A few days later, Dan is finally home – I insisted he stays at my place, as he needs someone to look after him. He can still hardly move and is on bed rest, but the bruises on his face and arms are finally fading. I’ve also been letting him sleep in my bed every night – as I know that’s where he’s most comfortable. I’ve been sleeping on my couch, not daring to ask if he wants me to sleep next to him.

My mum’s been worried sick, and not just about Dan – she’s not used to hearing about me missing lectures, or not studying every day, but I just haven’t been able to focus. At all. Tom and Hazel have popped over a few times though, sitting with Dan so I could have a few minutes rest.

“Are you awake?” I ask quietly as I open my bedroom door, smiling at the sight of Dan sitting up in bed, carrying the tray of breakfast toward him. “Morning, you”, he says sweetly, thanking me for the food as I place it on his lap. I sigh and sit on the bed next to Dan – annoyed at myself that I’ve waited until now to say this – “Dan. I have to apologise to you”.

Dan frowns, arguing, “you have nothing to be sorry for, Phi-“, but I interrupt him, shaking my head and lowering it almost shamefully, “I believed that you would cheat on me. When of course you wouldn’t. I should have known that”. Dan is silent, and I look up at him nervously after a few moments. I jump when he suddenly leans forward, grabbing my shoulders and crashing his lips into mine. I gasp but kiss back, wrapping my arms around his back and smiling at the feeling of finally having him close again.

However, we’re stopped when Dan lets out a loud squeal of pain, and I pull away immediately, tutting and helping him to lie back against the headboard. “Silly! Be more careful!” I scold, and Dan just chuckles, “remind me not to sit up again”.

“Dan?” I ask, biting at my lip nervously, preparing myself to ask a question, but Dan jumps in before I can, “does this mean we’re back together?”

“If _you_ want to be”, I answer immediately, grinning when Dan gives me the first real smile I’ve seen from him in days. “Of course I do. I love you”, he whispers, reaching for my hand, which I give to him, squeezing his gently, “I love you more. Now eat your breakfast”. He reaches for his spoon but pauses when tears dribble down his cheeks, and I widen my eyes with worry, “why are you crying? Are you really hurt?” Dan stops my blubbering with a shake of his head, “they’re happy tears, Phil”.

“You can be happy now, Dan”, I say gently, aware that Dan doesn’t believe me, though he forces a smile. I won’t mention Mr. Wexley to him now, not after all he’s recently been through. But I know for sure, when Dan’s better, I won’t allow him to do anything for those men again. I’ve already confiscated Dan’s phone from him and hidden it without him knowing. I’ll do everything I can to save Dan from these horrible men. And I’d love to be able to give his parents back to him.

-

A few more days of peace pass, with Dan eventually managing to leave his bed, moving to the sofa during the day to watch television with me. Snuggling up to him and pretending he isn’t currently injured is perfect – though every time he winces in pain because I hold him too tightly, or wakes up sobbing from a nightmare, brings us both back to reality. We plan to go back to lectures tomorrow, so all seems to be going well, up until I hear Dan’s phone buzzing from the cupboard where I hid it.

I make the excuse of needing the bathroom and rush out of the lounge, pulling Dan’s phone out, trembling slightly as I unlock it. I clench my jaw when I see he has a text from Mason, who he’s told me a lot about. However, the message makes me shiver even more, ‘You’ve had enough rest now. I’ll be at yours at 4 to give you your next job’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is ok :) haven't been feeling at my best recently so I hope this doesn't reflect in my writing quality! :)


	27. "I Want You to be Safe"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this part, Phil comes face-to-face with Mr. Wexley. What will happen?

(from Dan’s point of view)

I smile after Phil as he heads to the bathroom; I’m still unable to shake the feeling of gratitude and surprise that I have him back in my life, despite the fact it’s been a few days now since we decided to get back together. I never imagined telling someone my secret would go so well.

With a small groan of pain – though the pain in my chest has mostly dulled, it still flares up when I move too suddenly – I stand up and make my way to the kitchen, switching the kettle on so I can make us both coffee. I add sugar to Phil’s, taking care to sprinkle some cinnamon on top; Phil has looked after me for the past week, making him a special drink is the least I can do.

I carry the drinks back to Phil’s accommodation, pushing the door open with my back and grinning at Phil when I see him sitting on the sofa. “I made you a –“, I say, but I freeze at what I see in his hand. My phone. I tear up immediately, taking a deep breath and placing the drinks down on the table quickly before my trembling hands drop them. How could I not have noticed my phone was gone? After all the last months of anxiously awaiting texts or calls. My brain must have blocked it out as a defence mechanism.

I finally look away from Phil’s hand and to his face, taking in his guilty expression, and he speaks gently, standing up, “Dan”. I walk closer to Phil, part of me wanting comfort from him but another part confused and almost angry. If I’ve missed more texts from Mr. Wexley, I’ll be in even more trouble. “Phil, why the hell do you have that?” I whisper, unable to push my voice to a normal volume. I reach for my phone but Phil moves his hand away.

Phil closes the distance between us, slowly taking hold of my shoulders and stroking his hands down my upper arms, “calm down for me, baby, it’s okay. You’re safe here with me”. I nod and melt against Phil’s warmth, but still question him, “why haven’t you given me my phone before now?”

Phil sighs at the question, tracing relaxing circles on my back, “I wanted you to get better. You haven’t had any texts or calls, until now. I would have told you if you did”. My stomach jumps at this and I whimper, looking down between us when Phil shows me my phone screen. I read the text from Mason, almost identical to others I’ve received many times before, “‘You’ve had enough rest now. I’ll be at yours at 4 to give you your next job’. I look up at Phil with panicked eyes – I really don’t want to start doing this again. I glance at my watch and see I only have an hour before Mason arrives.

“We’re going to tell the police, okay?” Phil’s words bring even more panic straight to my system and I frown, pulling away from him and snapping, “what? We ca-“. Phil looks at me so sternly that I stop talking, feeling like a child as he speaks slowly to me, “no, Dan. You can’t argue”.

“But it will put my parents in danger. Mr. Wexley – he’ll kill them”, I stutter, watching as Phil slides my phone into his back pocket. He wipes at my tears as they begin to slip down my cheeks. Phil shakes his head, “he can’t kill anyone if he’s in jail. And the police will protect your parents”, he pauses, sighing at me sadly, “you can’t live like this forever, Dan, I can’t let you”. I begin to sob properly and lean my chin on Phil’s shoulder, “I know I can’t”.

“I’m going to get you through this, I promise. I want you to be safe”. I nod and hold Phil closer, closing my eyes and whispering stupidly, “your coffee will go cold”. Phil chuckles at me, gently leading me over to the sofa to take a sip from his mug. I do the same, leaning against Phil’s side, but I’m too nervous to drink any more when I see Phil typing 999 into his phone.

Phil can see how terrified I am, so he gives me a reassuring smile as he presses his phone to his ear, rubbing at my thigh soothingly. “See”, Phil says as he waits for the other side to pick up, “it’s better when you’re not alone in this”. I sigh and agree with Phil; it felt much better receiving and reading that text with Phil, rather than alone in my room.

“Hi”, Phil says when the other side finally picks up, “police please…I need to report a crime… threatening, amongst other things… yes, yes please… okay, thank you very much, see you soon”. I didn’t realise I was holding my breath until Phil puts the phone down, and I breathe deeply, waiting for Phil to explain. “They’re coming over to talk to you now, ok?” I nod at this and close my eyes, leaning my face against his shoulder. Phil places a soft kiss on my head and wraps his arms around me, whispering once again, “it will be okay, sweetheart”.

There is soon a knock on the door – the minutes of waiting are hell – and I stand up with a shaky breath, letting Phil take my hand and pull me over to it. Phil opens the door, cursing immediately and attempting to shut the door, but the intruder pushes their way in. I knew it wouldn’t be this easy. It isn’t the police. It’s Mr. Wexley. I widen my eyes and grip at Phil’s side, close to crying again as Mr. Wexley glances at Phil; he doesn’t look angry but he grins madly at me, which is somehow scarier. I wonder desperately how Mr. Wexley knew we had phoned the police and got here so quickly, but his sharp voice interrupts my thoughts.

“So, this is the bastard who’s been keeping you too busy to work for us”, he states, not even looking at Phil now, pretending he’s not here and instead glaring at me. I open my mouth to speak but can’t even get any sound out when I notice the pistol hanging loosely from Mr. Wexley’s hand. I jump when Phil pipes up, “Dan doesn’t work for you anymore”. I can feel Phil’s hand shaking in mine but he looks at me and suddenly shoves me behind him, using his body to cover mine.

“Oh?” Mr. Wexley states, chuckling derisively, brushing a hand casually down his suit to neaten it, “is that right, Dan?” I squeeze Phil’s hand nervously, and force a nod, whispering “yeah”. I partly want to give in to Mr. Wexley and do whatever he wants me to do, even allow him to hurt me – at least then I could be sure that my parents, and Phil, would be safe. But with Phil here in front of me, I feel braver. “Have you forgotten about-“, Mr. Wexley begins calmly, but I don’t allow him to finish his threat, taking a breath and standing in front of Phil now. “No!” I shout, making even myself jump, “I’m not bowing down to you anymore, if you keep doing this I’ll-“

When I can’t summon the words, Mr. Wexley raises his eyebrows at me, amused but angered.  “You’ll what?”

Phil steps forward, this time standing next to me, and answers for me, “he’ll tell the police everything about you”. For the first time, Mr. Wexley is lost for words, and I gawp as I watch him react, his fingers curling around his gun in fury. I’m so focused on the weapon, it makes me scream in shock when Mr. Wexley’s other hand flies up to punch me in the face, bringing a stinging pain to my eye. I whimper and bring a hand up to cover my eye and cheek, but shout and reach out, “Phil!” when he lunges forward, the anger in his eyes more than I’ve ever seen before. When, through my blurry vision, I see the gun drop to the floor, I crouch down speedily and pick it up, throwing it across the lounge so Mr. Wexley can’t get it back. The clattering sound the pistol makes, and my quiet sobs, are the only things breaking the silence in the room.

I didn’t need to throw the gun so far, as Phil is pinning Mr. Wexley against the wall by his neck, holding him so tightly I’m worried Phil could kill him. Mr. Wexley glares at me as he gasps for air, but Phil throws his face to the side with a punch, “don’t you look at him!” I whimper and step back, unused to seeing Phil so aggressive and furious. I feel faint and overwhelmed when the door flies open, three police officers filing into the room and grabbing at Phil so they can get to Mr. Wexley. Handcuffs are put on him and I watch in awe as the scene I’ve wished to see for so long unfolds in front of me.

I flinch at Phil’s hand on my shoulder, but let him pull me into a hug, crying onto his shoulder as he whispers, “you’re okay. It’s over now. It’s over”.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg! This story is nearly over! One part left! Thank you so so much for reading it, I've had fun and already have ideas for another phanfic! :)


	28. Finally safe.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil has a surprise in store for Dan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the final part is here.

(from Phil’s point of view)

\- One week later -

When I wake up I stay as still as possible so I don’t disturb Dan, sighing contentedly at the sight of his soft face in front of mine. Since we got rid of Mr. Wexley, Dan has looked like a different person - so much more relaxed - both when he’s asleep and awake. Before, even when in sleep he had a tiny frown on his face, and his whole body would be tense as if expecting something – probably those horrible phone calls and texts. But the last two days Dan has been less tired, less anxious, and overall so much happier.

Dan had to have a long, painful conversation with the police – which took a lot of convincing from me – after they had taken Mr. Wexley away, which I held his hand all the way through. I couldn’t keep Dan from getting incredibly upset by it all though, so I insisted we leave the university for a week or so. Everyone, especially my mum, was shocked when I was willing to put my studies aside for a while, but I know I can catch up, and Dan is my number one priority now. Felix and Marzia were good enough to let us stay in their spare room; though they did ask too many questions at first, therefore upsetting Dan, they’ve been so understanding.

Dan’s eyes slowly open in front of me, and I lean forward to peck his cheek, reaching up to stroke a hand through his hair, “morning, beautiful”. He blushes and I frown when he shakes his head, yawning, “not with this black eye”. I sigh at the slowly-fading bruise around his eye, noticing him tense up at the memory of how he got it; I move my fingers to the other bruise on his left cheek to stroke it softly, and insist, “no. Always beautiful”. Dan sighs and can’t help but smile, shifting closer to me so he can lie his head on my chest.

We’re silent and content for a while, just enjoying each other’s company and our newly found peace, just like we have the last few mornings. I rub Dan’s back gently while he holds onto my other hand, kissing his soft hair every now and then to ensure he doesn’t fall back to sleep.

I jump slightly when Dan’s words suddenly pierce the silence, “I didn’t know you had an aggressive side”. I scowl at this, sitting up in the bed, and ask with complete confusion, “what?” Dan chuckles at my reaction, but he sits up as well, explaining, “I mean with Mr. Wexley”.

“Oh”, I say, pulling Dan towards me so he leans against my side. We haven’t really spoken of my encounter with Mr. Wexley until now. “I was just angry, Dan”, I say, clenching my fists just at the thought of that despicable man, “I hate him so much for what he put you and your family through”.

“Well, he’s in jail now”, Dan states, winding his arms around me again and leaning his head against my neck. I nod and huff, still wishing I could have found out what was going on and helped Dan sooner. I flinch when, as if noticing my mood change, in a quick movement, Dan rests his lips on my neck, kissing my skin softly. I gasp, but pat Dan’s shoulder and apologetically leave the bed, “enough talk of him. I’m going to go and get us breakfast. You stay here and relax”. Dan looks disappointed that we couldn’t snuggle for longer but I give him a smile, exiting the room swiftly after pulling a shirt and some joggers on over my boxers – I have plans for today.

When I enter the kitchen Felix is standing over the kettle; he turns to me with a kind face when he notices me, “morning, Phil”. I grin back and walk over to the toaster, placing two slices of bread in, “morning. How are you doing?”

“I’m good, just got back from walking the dogs”, he nods, stirring his coffee and looking away from me as he asks carefully, “how is Dan doing?”

“So much better”, I reply, adding with a small sigh, “I can’t believe how brave he is”. Felix huffs and shakes his head with disbelief, “I don’t know many people who could put up with what Dan has gone through”. Disliking the negative conversation, I change the subject, stating, “I’ve actually managed to get in touch with his parents”.

Felix raises his eyebrows in surprise at this, dropping his hand away from the kettle, “you did?”

“Yeah”, I nod, unable to keep a smile off of my face as I butter some toast, “his mum’s coming over this morning, but his dad has to stay in America for a while”. I pause to turn around and check no one’s listening in, before continuing, “I’m taking Dan to the airport to surprise him soon”.

“He’ll love that”, Felix notes, patting my back, “you’re a wonderful boyfriend”. My heart lifts at this and I can’t help the giddy feeling I still get when someone reminds me Dan is my boyfriend.

“So is he”, I say. “I better go and get him up actually”. I take two plates of toast and leave the room, turning back in the doorway briefly to say, “thanks for having us. I think we really needed this time”. Felix shakes his head, saying gently, “any time”. When I return to the guest room Dan is sitting up against the headboard, taking the plate off me gratefully and immediately biting into his food.

We eat in silence and watch the TV at the end of the bed; once Dan has finished eating he ends up laying his head on my shoulder, eyes closing at the comfort – for once not because of tiredness. “That was nice, thank you”, he whispers, pecking my lips and then sitting back so we can continue watching TV. I look away from the screen, however, when Dan’s hand lands on my knee, watching with interest as he plays with the material of my jogging bottoms.

I gasp when his hand wanders down my inner thigh, lightly massaging me; as much as it annoys me to do so, I have to push his hand away when he comes close to my crotch. We have to meet Dan’s mum in less than an hour, so though we have a little time to spare, we can’t start this now. “I’m sorry, baby”, I say when Dan looks up at me with frustrated eyes, “I need to take you somewhere”. Dan sighs but takes his hand away, instead resting it on my chest, “fine. But I’m having you tonight. Where are we going?”

“You can have me tonight. And it’s a surprise!” I say, chuckling at Dan’s childish pout, “now, get up and get dressed, our taxi will be here in ten minutes”.

-

After rushing Dan out of the house we finally get into our taxi; I wanted us to be earlier so Dan could be as calm as possible before the overwhelming experience of seeing his mother again. I’m silent for most of the journey, my leg jiggling nervously and my stomach lurching – I want this to work out perfectly, and I can’t help but doubt my decision to make this a surprise. What if Dan thinks the surprise was an awful idea and freaks out?

I jump when his hand lands on my thigh, and Dan asks with concern, “is something up?”

“No”, I shake my head, “I just really want you to like the surprise”. Dan gives me an encouraging smile and says sweetly, “I’m sure I will. Wish you could tell me where we’re going though”. I look out of the window, and note, “you’ll see in a second. We’re here”. I watch Dan’s face anxiously as he sees we’re turning into the airport, and he turns to me with a confused frown, “we’re not going away, are we? I’m not packed or anything and –“ I interrupt Dan’s panicked babbling as I pay the taxi driver, “no. We’re not going away anywhere. Come on, we only have a few minutes”.

Dan is looking just as nervous as me as he follows me and we enter the airport. I lead the way with his hand in mine, to the place waiting area where his mum’s plane is landing. I sigh as I guide Dan into a seat, taking both of his hands gently and finally explaining, “I’m going to tell you what we’re doing here now, so you can process it, okay?” Dan nods at me slowly, so I continue, “I asked your-“

We both jump at the scream of “Daniel!” coming from behind us, and I stand open-mouthed when I see Dan’s mum rushing over with her suitcase. Dan looks at me for just a short moment with wide eyes; my gawp quickly turns into a smile when Dan sprints over to her, pulling her swiftly into a hug.

Dan’s POV:

My legs almost give way beneath me at the sight of my mum in front of me; I drop Phil’s hands and rush into her arms, immediately bursting into tears. I drop my head on her shoulder and make the most of breathing her familiar scent in, hugging her just as tightly as she is hugging me – neither of us ever want to let go again. “I missed you so much”, she whispers into my ear, pulling back for a moment to take in my face. “I missed you too”, I nod, only crying more when she reaches up to wipe at my tears, “things have been so hard, mum”.

I shake my head when she looks at me guiltily, “I’m so sorry for the position we left you in”. This situation was no one’s fault. After glancing back over at Phil, who is smiling at us widely, I say, “it doesn’t matter now. Phil helped us out of it”.

“I know”, my mum whispers, “he’s the one who managed to get in touch with me”. I raise my eyebrows at this realisation of what Phil’s done for me, and before I can stop myself, a rush of gratefulness forces me to run back over to him, diving into his open arms. “I love you, I love you, I love you!”

“I love you too”, Phil says gently, shushing me, but I continue, “thank you so much for this, Phil. Oh my god, you’re amazing”. Placing a gentle kiss on my cheek, Phil takes my mum’s suitcase from her, offering with a grin, “shall we go back to my accommodation and have some lunch?”

“Yes, thank you, Phil”, my mum replies, pulling him into a hug before we head back to a taxi.

*

Later on, with Phil busy in the kitchen cooking dinner, my mum and I sit down together on his sofa to talk pleasantly for a while with the TV on in the background. “So, how is studying going?” I sigh at my mum’s question, shrugging and feeling slight shame – one of the main reasons I decided to go to university was to make my parents proud, but I’ve hardly done any work for it. “Not very well”, I murmur, forcing a smile, “but Phil helps me”.

“Well, it’s a wonder you’ve even stayed at university with what you’ve been going through. I’m proud of you, Dan”. I almost cry at hearing those words I’ve been needing to hear for so long, letting my mum pull me into her arms for what is probably the hundredth time today.

“I’m so happy we can see each other all the time now”, I say, pulling back when my mum replies, “me too. I wish I could stay for longer, but I’m tired from my flight. I want to go and book into a hotel and leave you and Phil in peace”.

I nod in agreement, insisting I carry her suitcase down the stairs for her, giving her a final hug before letting her go. I inhale sharply to hold myself back from crying again, reminding myself I can see her again tomorrow. I rush back inside and head to the kitchen, nodding at a student I pass on my way there. Now that all the craziness is over I’ll have to make some sort of effort to introduce myself to the other people living here. Phil is on his own in the kitchen when I reach it, and I slowly walk over to him as lays the plates out, making him jump when I wrap my arms around his hips.

“Thank you for cooking”, I immediately state, and Phil turns to me, looking around briefly before asking, “is your mum gone already?”

“Yeah”, I nod, still not letting go of Phil’s hips as I say again, “thank you, Phil”. He chuckles quietly and shakes his head, “you don’t have to keep thanking me”. I tut and step forward purposefully, pressing my lips to Phil’s lips for a long moment, “I’ll keep thanking you forever. What are your plans for tonight?”

Phil kisses me back, smirking as he suggests, “I thought we could study”. I roll my eyes and let Phil go so he can serve our food out, crossing my arms, “I hope you’re joking, Phil”. To my relief, Phil chuckles and nods, “of course I am. We can do whatever you like tonight”.

“We can start studying again in the morning”, I say, aware that we’ll both have a lot of catching up to do, thanks to me. I frown when Phil doesn’t respond, and I take his arm gently so I can turn him round to see his face. I widen my eyes when I see he is tearing up, but he shakes his head at me, stopping my worry, “sorry, Dan. These are happy tears”.

I giggle and sigh with relief, but question, “what are you happy about?” Phil takes my hips again and pulls me closer, answering quietly, “because you’re finally safe”.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading this story, I hope it has been enjoyable :) I know I've enjoyed it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I'll be writing this over the summer and hope y'all enjoy it :)


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